A Particular Life of a Certain Lily Luna Potter
by Piggwidgeon
Summary: Lily, new prefect for Slytherin, has always been known for her looks. Sure, she's dated a few guys. But what happens if the one she loves is the one her father and, more importantly, her brothers hate? Some random magic problems thrown in.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say it, I don't own Potter property

**Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say it, I don't own Potter property.**

3

Lily gently laid her silver prefect patch on top of her new robes and closed her trunk. She could not believe the summer was already over. It seemed just yesterday she had gotten off the train, crowded into Aunt Hermione's station wagon, and came home for the annual Weasley reunion. And now, she was getting ready to go back on the train, back to Hogwarts, back to the comfort of the Slytherin common room.

"Lily, you ready yet?" Al asked, poking his head in her room.

"Yeah."

"Make sure you have your badge is in your pocket; you'll be put to work as soon as you get to the platform."

"Ok." Lily flipped open her trunk and took out her badge and slid it in her pocket. Al, already a prefect, knew what he was talking about.

"Let's go, then. Mum's going to have a cow if we're much later."

He disappeared. Lily gripped the handle of her trunk with two hands and brought it to the edge of the stairs and carefully lowered it, one stair at a time, until she was at the bottom.

"Need help, Slytherin?" Teddy asked, picking up her trunk. "Can't let a pretty lady carry her luggage all on her own."

"Are you coming to King's Cross with us?" Lily asked, following after Teddy.

"No; I can't. Not this year." He threw Lily's trunk into the back of her dad's car. "But make sure you steal a pastry from the kitchens for me." He turned around and hugged her.

"Alright, Ted," Lily said, fighting back laughter. Jim had made the same request of her.

"And don't let the other prefects scare you," he said, pulling away from her.

"Of course not," Lily said. "I've lived with a Gryffindor and a Ravenclaw, and I highly doubt any house will dare intimidate a Slytherin. At least not with Alexander Zabini covering my back."

"He's your fellow prefect?"

"Yep."

"You're going to be an intimidating team, I'll tell you that. I'd hate to be a little first year Gryffindor with the pair of you staring at me." He played with his turquoise hair, shaking his head.

"Oh, man, I can't wait to see a little Gryffindor pee his pants," Lily said and chuckled.

"You're so mean, Slytherin," Teddy muttered, messing up her hair. Lily batted him away.

"Lily, get in the car," her dad said, sliding into the driver's seat.

Her mum and Al emerged from the house, between the two of them managing to carry Al's oversized trunk to the car.

"What do you have in here?" their mum said.

"Books," Al replied, dropping the trunk in the car.

"Get in; we're running late," their dad said, starting up the car.

Lily buckled her seatbelt, the leather seats sticking to the back of her thighs, and watched as the Burrow disappeared behind the first bend.

3

Lily pushed aside the door to the Slytherin prefect compartment and stared at the four other prefects staring at her.

"Lily Potter?" one of them said, looking her over.

"Yes," she replied.

"I'm Headboy for Slytherin this year," he said, standing up. "My name's Harley Abel and the Headgirl is Ophelia Zabini."

Alexander's older sister smiled, her teeth particularly white against her dark skin. Harley ran his hands briefly through his thick brown hair.

"Senior prefects this year are Sylvester Goyle and Sam Hill."

Lily glanced at the two seventh years. Sam was rather average looking – nothing spectacular. She always wore her hair pulled back and always looked rather austere. She had a reputation for putting little Gryffindor first years in their places real fast. Sly was rather large, his hands and feet still a bit awkward. He appeared a whole lot more oblivious than he was. And his observations often showed up when it was time to count house points.

"Prefects are Scorpius Malfoy and Tempest Prewett. Is Scorpius even here yet?"

"Nope," Tempest said, tossing back her fiery red hair. "He's late."

Her tone was droll and monotonous to listen to for long periods of time, but no one would question her ability. Lily had never actually met the lesser of the two Malfoy twins. Everyone knew Aeolus; he was the one who rallied the Slytherins around the quidditch pitch. Scorpius was a bit more introverted than his dark-haired brother. It had been rumored that the pair were as opposite as day to night. With this impression, it was odd that Scorpius was late.

"I think he's tracking down the younger Zabini," Sam said. Sly nodded his head.

"I told him to report straight here, but he wouldn't listen to me," Ophelia sighed, examining her nails.

"Well, our junior prefects are Lily Potter and the missing Zabini," Harley finished, crossing his arms. "I hate it when my prefects are late."

"This is the first time it's happened, you know," Ophelia said.

"And it's going to be the last."

"I think you should run through protocol, now," Ophelia said.

"We need to wait for your brother."

"No we don't. He'll manage without."

"I can't. Wolfe would get pissed at me"

"You might want to sit down for awhile, Potter," Tempest said. "We could be here for awhile."

"Oh, come on, Red," someone said from the doorway. "I'm not that inefficient."

Lily looked up. A tall young man, probably taller than Al, leaned against the doorframe. His blonde – almost white -- hair was unkempt and fell over his eyes, which were shielded by a pair of thin wire glasses. His frame was large – wide through the shoulder and well muscled throughout. Even from her obscured position, she could see his clear grey eyes dancing with intelligence and amusement. She could only assume this was Scorpius.

"Sit down; we've been waiting for you. Do you have Zabini?" Abel asked, crossing his arms.

"Yes I do; he should be somewhere behind me, although he might have gotten eaten by a first year – I don't know."

Scorpius stepped into the compartment and sat next to Lily. She could smell his cologne – a scent that had many depths to it. Just inhaling it made her head spin with pleasure. She glanced over at him and immediately was captivated by his strong jaw line.

Where had he been hiding?

"My, my, my," Sam muttered. "It seems scrawny Scorpius has grown up over the summer."

"Indeed," Scorpius said, crossing his arms. "It seems I know everyone here but one. You, miss, what is your name?" He turned to Lily, his eyes prying into her soul.

"Lily Potter."

"Fifth year?"

"Yes."

"Zabini!" Harley snapped. "Get your sorry Slytherin ass in here!"

Alexander slunk into the room, his newly lanky frame making him stick out like a sore thumb. He collapsed in a chair like a pile of sticks and waited to be instructed.

"Well, now that we have that out of the way," Harley said, glaring at Alex. "I need to inform you of protocol. First, you cannot take points from other prefects. The night shifts are as follows: Monday Alexander and Lily, Tuesday Scorpius and Tempest, Wednesday Sam and Lily, Thursday Tempest and Sly, Friday Scorpius and Alexander, Saturday Sam and Tempest, and Sunday Sly and Scorpius. Your goal here is to peg Gryffindors with as much house violations as possible, as well as the other houses. Sometimes, we'll organize events and we'll need to create a route through which we can traffic our students. You will be compliant to these needs."

Lily nodded. She understood what he was talking about full well. Every year, they had an annual first year-seventh year party where they all trekked to the kitchens and basically had a big bash. It was both an establishment of seventh year supremacy and an introduction to Slytherin. As a first year, you were sworn to secrecy and to compliance to these traditions.

"Memorize the list of forbidden items and confiscate what you can. Alexander and Lily; this is how I want the pair of you to go down. Lily, go easier, basically tip off Alexander and he'll peg 'em. Both of you are responsible for the first and second years. Scorpius and Tempest, the third, fourth, and fifth years. Hill and Goyle, the sixth and seventh years. You have the liberty to plan events, and are responsible to settle conflicts and make them feel as at home as possible.

"Put on your badges and make sure everyone is where they ought to be; got it?" Harley said. They all nodded and pulled their silver badges out of their pockets and pinned them to their shirts. Lily felt a surge of excitement as she began patrolling the train.


	2. Chapter 2

"Slytherin first years!" Alexander shouted, raising his hand high above his head. "Slytherin first years follow me! I'll take you to the common room!"

In the commotion of the Great Hall, a slew of boys and girls tentatively walked up to the tall fifth year. Lily grinned, remembering following Ulysses Ottoman. He had been quite an imposing fellow.

"Slytherin first years!" Lily shouted, joining in with Zabini's chorus. "Follow that kid! He'll take you to our common room!" She went up and down the Slytherin table, making sure all the first years were up, and then followed the troop to the dormitories, ensuring no one got lost on their way.

"Once you get to the common room, the girls will go with Potter back there, and the boys will stay with me. There, we will hand out class schedules and go over Slytherin protocol. Understood?"

All the first years stayed quiet, their heads turning all around to get a good view of the castle. Zabini stopped short, all the first years bumping into each other.

"First lesson of Slytherin!" he shouted. "Always respond to older students. I asked if you understood."

"Yes, yes," they all murmured, their voices quaking in response to his anger.

"Second lesson; if you can't remember directions, take someone with that does at all times. You will get lost in this castle. Lily?"

"You need to go left, Alex," Lily replied, grinning.

"The first few days of classes, the teachers will take you around, but after that, you're on your own. You'd do well to take notes of directions when you can. It does not look good for the house to have lame first years running around like chickens with their heads cut off. For every detention you get for being late, for every house point you lose for being lost, you will be punished by the house. If you genuinely need help understanding the layout of the school, tell either Potter or myself and we'll hook you up with someone who will help you learn the floor plan."

"Slytherin does not tolerate slothfulness," Lily began. "Your dormitories will always be neat, your beds always made, and your clothes always washed. If you do not follow protocol, you will be punished."

"If you forget the password, expect to be caned," Alex said seriously. Lily bit back laughter as some of the first years gasped in horror. They did not actually use the cane; Professor Wolfe had outlawed its use within Slytherin, Lily had been told. Something about it promoting contempt.

"If you get lost in the dungeons, expect a seventh year to find you and prepare for the subsequent beating," Lily chimed.

"If you need help in a subject, let us know and we'll pair you with a tutor. It does not look good for Slytherin students to be failing subjects. We are superior to all houses – never forget it."

"Do not go poking around the dungeons. There tends to be…dangerous…things down there."

"Do not argue with an older student from other houses; if they pick on you, snatch an older Slytherin student, and they'll come and help you. Seventh years are preferential. They will help. It's their duty as a Slytherin."

"It's the motto of Slytherin – better to ask forgiveness than permission, just don't get caught. If you do get caught, expect to be flogged."

"Here we are; Salazar," Zabini said, the common room bursting open.

3

Lily spent two hours lecturing the first and second year girls on protocol. She had practiced the routine since she received the packet with her Hogwarts list, and she thought it went smoothly. At least the girls listened. It took her almost half an hour to hand out schedules and room assignments. She thought it would only take fifteen at the most. Proffessor Wolfe did his usual welcome speech to all of Slytherin, including a brief history of the house and how absolutely glorious it is. Lily could see the familiar pride swelling up in the returning students and the pride begin to blossom in the first years.

She spent another hour ensuring that everyone was in their proper room with their proper stuff and that everything was going smoothly. So far, there had not been any arguments, but she knew that with a bunch of preteen girls, that could change fast. It was the reason that she was only responsible for the two years; they could bicker like no tomorrow. The same with the sixth and seventh years. Once boys were added to the equation, they got worse again. The three years in-between were not so bad, so Tempest got to deal with all of them. If anyone asked, though, why it was like that, she would say it was because fifth years need to worry about O.W.L.s and seventh year the N.E.W.T.s, so they needed more time than the sixth years. In reality, though, all the prefects worked just as hard.

She laid back on her bed in silence. She had the spacious room to herself. It was where she would have meetings, settle conflicts, plan events, and perform in-house detentions. The half she utilized for personal use was blocked by thick green curtains from the rest of the area. The public half held a desk and two chairs. She could get more if she needed them for detentions.

But she did not care about any of it then. All she wanted to do was sprawl on the soft Hogwarts beds and fall asleep. And, after slipping out of her robes and putting on her pajamas, she did exactly that.

3

Lily stared, silent, at her cat sitting docilely in front of her. She should have mastered this spell by now. She should have it under her belt, buried with her second-year stuff. But no, not her. Nope, Lily Potter had to struggle through it again every year. She tapped Aspen the cat three times on the head and muttered the incantation.

She waited, her lip clamped between her teeth. She needed something, a slight change, a small indication of change, anything at all.

"Meow."

"Shit," Lily hissed, slamming her wand down on the table.

"Calm down, Lil," Alexander said harshly. "You're going to make Slytherin look foolish. You know we have doubles with Gryffindor this period. Relax and take it out on an unsuspecting first year later."

"I can't calm down, Zabini," she replied, her tone equally harsh. "You've already transfigured your bloody owl into a goblet and back again five times while I still haven't managed to make the stupid cat go one way even a little bit!"

"Seriously, calm down."

"What's going on?" Kelsie, another Slytherin, asked, turning around in her chair.

"I still can't get it right," Lily muttered, grinding her teeth together.

She could not believe she was admitting this. Neither of her parents had any problems with spell-casting. To James, it came easier than walking, and the only problem Al had was the practical application in Defense Against the Dark Arts. She was the one without any skills. It was like they had taken all the magical ability and all she was left with was a useless piece of wood.

"It's alright, Lil," Kelsie said. "You'll get it eventually."

Ah, Kelsie, the optimist. They had bunked together the previous years, and had grown to be quite good friends. Lily found her undying optimism occasionally annoying, but on most occasions heartening. Now was no exception.

"Maybe you've just had enough. I have a puking pastel, if you want it," Zabini muttered, handing her the purple candy under the table.

"No, I'm fine, thanks."

"Good, because I was going to use it to get out of charms. Nasty fellow, that Flitwick."


	3. Chapter 3

Lily loved the smell of the Slytherin common room, the way it oozed class and elegance, the way it caught you in its grasp and did not let go until you went home for vacation. It was like you were in a whole new world, between reality and your best fantasy.

"Hey, Lil," Kelsie said, sitting near Lily's feet.

Even extended as far as she could go, only the tips of Lily's toes occupied the third cushion of the couch. It was quite embarrassing, sometimes, especially when she was standing next to the gargantuan Al.

"Hello," Lily replied.

"How's your first week back been?"

"It's like I picked up where I left off, except that I have to go back a few steps."

"We all do, really."

"Not nearly as far back as I have to go."

"Come on, Lily. Are you telling me you're as horrible in divination as I am?"

"No." In truth, divination was perhaps the only subject Lily excelled in.

"Are you telling me you didn't practice quidditch all summer?"

"Of course I did!" Lily sat up. "Do you know when it's starting? I really need to get out on the field, reduce stress and all that crap my mum keeps telling me about."

"Do I look like I would know?"

"I suppose not. Bryan!" Lily yelled as loud as she could, her voice carrying through the entire common room.

"What is it?" he demanded, his voice ringing back in the same fashion.

"When's quidditch?"

"Next week!"

There was a cheer from a few people in the corner, none of them actual players, but all of them willing to rally around a winning team. The only change to their team this year if all went well was the seeker. And Dante Cole was good enough to rival Al at his best.

"I can't wait for quidditch to start," Lily moaned, falling back on the couch.

"You want to come out and play soccer with me tomorrow?" Kelsie asked.

Lily raised an eyebrow in her direction. The Slytherins were not notorious for their support of muggle-based activities. As a prefect, it was part of her responsibility to look out for the house's reputation. And she wasn't really all that fond of the sport, either. Kind of boring, really.

"Count me in," a boy said from behind the couch. Curiously, Lily twisted her head to get a good look at the speaker. Much to her surprise, it was Scorpius Malfoy, his hand casually scratching the back of his head. "I really need to get out to run. Hogwarts makes me anxious. And this weather isn't helping, either."

"Alright!" Kelsie grinned.

"The usual place?"

"From what I've been told, we're meeting by the broom shed and going from there."

"Good, good; I hate trying to figure out where we're playing without direction."

"Yeah – that's a pain."

"I'll see you there, then."

"Ok."

Lily slowly let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Even upside down, he looked amazing.

"So are you going to play, or what?" Kelsie asked.

"I can't; I need to work on transfiguration."

"A shame."

"No need to tell me."

3

There were three things that Lily clung to at Hogwarts when things did not seem to go her way: Aspen the cat, quidditch, and divination. Aspen was adorable. He really was. The only thing she had to do to get him to sit in her lap was snap her fingers. He came every time. Quidditch and divination were perhaps the two things that came easiest to the youngest Potter. She didn't question why, deciding it would be more trouble than it was worth trying to figure it out, and instead just enjoyed them. She loved playing keeper. It was like the only thing that could rid her of all her cares. The thrill of the game, the exhilaration of making the save, was the only thing she could think about and she basked in it any chance she got. It was hard for her to pinpoint why she enjoyed divination like she did. Her mum said several times that there was probably some seer in the Weasley blood. She doubted that; none of her cousins seemed to have even the faintest inkling of attraction towards the subject. That was irrelevant, though; the way it removed her from her present situation greatly relieved her stress.

This year, however, with her prefect duties and obvious failings in transfiguration, charms, and defense against the dark arts, she was pulled from divination.

It had felt as if someone had removed a part of her, a piece of her she would never get back. Professor Wolfe had patiently explained why they had done it, detailing her failings in other subjects and how she should focus on them. They claimed she didn't have any of the Sight anyway, so why should she pursue the subject? It killed her a little bit every time she thought of it, of leaving behind the only subject she actually held a fondness for.

Although Apsen the Adorable was terribly fluffy and cute, he could not satisfy her need for distraction. Even petting the cat still allowed her mind to wander to places she did not really want to go. She needed a solid distraction, a place where she could only focus on one thing.

Quidditch was her answer.

Lily stared into the mirror in her room, pulling at the sleeves of her sweatshirt; the bloody thing didn't fit like it did last year, being a bit more restricting than she liked. Resigned, she grabbed her broom and made her way to the common room. There were about twenty other people there with brooms, all waiting for Bryan.

"Why are there so many people?" Lily asked Rab, one of the beaters for the team.

"They're trying out, I suppose."

"What for? We don't need anyone."

"I don't know. You, kid with the red shirt." Rab grabbed the shoulder of one of the kids and turned him around with ease. "What are you doing?"

"Trying out," the boy said, visibly intimidated by Rab's shear size.

"What for?"

"K-keeper."

"What?" Lily stepped between Rab and the boy, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him down to her level. "What do you mean you're trying out for keeper?"

"I-I don't know. I-I was told there was was a p-position…" '

"At keeper?"

"I-I can't remember…"

"Where the bloody hell is Bryan?" Lily nearly threw the poor kid to the floor and stormed across the hall, all the prospective quidditch players watching her.

"What's going on?" Bryan asked, flipping the hood to his jacket up.

"Did you tell the second years that the keeper position was open?" Lily asked, forcing her voice to quiver in a low whisper.

"I…I was told you weren't playing."

"By who?" Lily restrained herself from hitting the Quidditch captain with her broom.

"Aeolus."

"What?"

"He…he said you were incapable of playing because of your marks."

Lily stared at Bryan, fear gripping her heart. She couldn't move. She couldn't breathe. What was happening?

"You were pulled from divination, right?" Bryan continued. "That's only a last-ditch effort. Usually they pull you from extra curriculars first."

"I need to go talk with Wolfe, then, and clear this up."

Lily left the dungeons, her entire body wracked with anger and anguish. Quidditch couldn't be taken from her. It was the one thing she had. The only thing she was good at. The only thing keeping her sane.


	4. Chapter 4

Lily did not know what to do. She felt cold, as if a Dementor was in the vicinity, as if she could never be happy. The fire of the Slytherin common room crackled before her. How could this happen to her? She wanted to cry.

"Lil, are you ok?" Kelsie asked, sitting next to her.

"Why would I be ok?" Lily demanded, keeping her eyes on the fire. "I'm not taking divination. I can't play quidditch. I have to solve the problems of petty little first years. I…I don't know what to do."

A log in the fire cracked in two, sending sparks up the chimney.

"You'll be fine, Lily. There's a reason you were chosen for prefect. You have crazy mad skills. You just need to learn how to use them."

"There's no point if I can't play quidditch. My mum's going to be bloody angry and my dad is going to yell at me for having such low marks."

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure Al and Jim struggle with stuff."

Lily glanced at Kelsie; she didn't know what she was talking about. They did not struggle with anything. All of it came easy to them.

She did not want to deal with this right now.

"I'm going to bed," she said, standing up. She went back to her room, hating the isolation she found there.

3

"Come on, Lily," Alexander said irately. "Stop being such an idiot."

"I'm not being an idiot!"

"Just quit the ruse and try, damn it."

"I am trying!"

Lily felt her cheeks burn with anger and embarrassment. Her throat tightened. Alexander didn't understand.

"If you were really trying, you would at least have some progress by now."

"Shut the bloody hell up, Zabini!" Her eyes pricked with oncoming tears. "Why would I pretend not to know how to do this? I can't play quidditch! I can't take divination! Why would I do that to myself?"

She leaned against the back wall and slid down, allowing her forehead to rest on her knees. Why did she have to do this with Zabini? Yes, he was the best at transfiguration. Yes, he was proficient at charms. Yes, he excelled at defense against the dark arts. But he was also perhaps the most arrogant person – other than Jim – when it came to such things. He thought everyone was as good as he was, and they were not. Especially not her.

"If you're just going to cry like a little girl, I'm out of here."

Zabini left the room, leaving Lily alone.

Why did this have to be so hard?

3

Lily looked around the kitchens at all the first and second year girls laughing and giggling and picking out the cakes they wanted. Kelsie stood next to her, sipping a bottle of butterbeer.

"Can we go on the grounds and have a picnic?" one of the girls asked, her eyes wide with expectation.

"What does everyone else think?" Lily asked loudly.

There was a resounding response for the action. The girls notoriously did not appreciate the dank atmosphere of Slytherin until their third year, maybe even their fourth depending on where they lived. Besides, it was nice out and Lily really wanted to run around. Without quidditch, she had all sorts of pent up energy she did not know how to expend without running up and down the stairs three or four times – which she had taken to doing lately.

"Alright, let's go," Lily said, leading the way to the grounds.

Kelsie conjured up some blankets and laid them on the ground. The girls put their food down and sprawled out. Lily leaned against the castle wall, watching her girls goof around and eat copious amounts of sweets. Half of them would be hyper until midnight, the other half sick.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Kelsie asked, balancing an apple in her hand.

"Why not? It certainly won't affect their studies; tomorrow is Sunday, after all."

"You're the one who's going to have to deal with the after effects."

"What's the worst that could happen? They all get caught meandering through the castle? They won't get caught. Sam and Tempest are on rounds tonight."

"Lily! Do we have any games to play?" Rab's younger sister, Dorianna Saraiah, her black hair curtaining her features from the sun, asked. She was an active girl in her first year, destined, in Lily's mind, to be a bloody good chaser. And the things that were destined in Lily's mind tended to be, in reality, destined.

"I…I don't know," Lily replied. "I didn't bring anything."

"Here," Kelsie said, throwing a black and white ball the size of a quaffle at the girl. Dory caught it and threw it back.

"You kick it," Kelsie said, bouncing the ball on her knees. She flicked it with the end of her foot back to the girls. Dory tried to do it, shrugged, picked it up, and they started playing land-bound double quidditch game – six chasers per team, three baskets laid on the ground for goals, and one keeper per team. Lily had been recruited for one of the chasers, considered too short to play keeper on a grounded game. She accepted it with silence, knowing its truth; she took after her mother.

But the game did what she wanted it to; she forgot about her abysmal marks, her almost overwhelming prefect duties, her pent up energy. All of it was released as she sprinted from one end of the makeshift pitch to the other. All of it disappeared in the joy of scoring points. All of it was void in the exhilaration of competition.

They played for almost three hours. The players shifted in and out, some of them leaving, others coming. Lily did not notice. She did not care. She was having fun, slaughtering the competition. No one could stop her.


	5. Chapter 5

"Lily," Professor Wolfe said, putting his fingertips together. "Why haven't your marks improved?" He looked at her gravely, his graying goatee making his face look cold and distant. It was moments like this that made people fear the generally genial man.

"I…I don't know," Lily said, her voice slightly catching in her throat.

"It's hard for me to believe that you're trying."

Lily's stomach dropped. Her cheeks tingled. Her hair stood on end. What had he just said?

"Both of your brothers are unbelievably talented. Your father is the Boy Who Lived; at your age he had faced the Dark Lord three times. Your mother is the Ginny Weasley, who when she was younger than you managed to hold her own at the Department of Mysteries against a group of highly trained Death Eaters. Explain to me why you, Lily, are the exception?"

His voice wasn't hard. It wasn't loud. But it was sharper than steel. Lily didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to do. They had taken away quidditch. They had removed her from divination. She had been tutored by Zabini, the first in the class. And still it wasn't enough. Was there anything else? Could they expel her from Hogwarts? Would they? They couldn't. Not to a Potter. Not to a Weasley. Not to a decent student. Not to a prefect. She shook her head. They couldn't. They wouldn't. There was no way.

"I…"

"You what?" His smooth voice pierced her heart.

"I haven't done anything wrong!" She felt tears prickle her eyes, her throat painfully constrict. "I haven't slacked off, I haven't shirked my duties, and I haven't done any of it. Maybe I'm just a squib, did you ever think of that? Did you ever think that you had made a mistake in accepting me? I can't try harder than I already am. I can't. I just can't."

"You were brought to Hogwarts for a reason. Never think it was a mistake."

"But I can't do anything! I'm completely hopeless."

"Plenty of people a whole lot less talented than you have succeeded to far greater positions than you seem designed to have. There is no point in quitting now."

"Evidently there is."

"I'm putting you with an older student, someone with more experience."

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in, Malfoy," Wolfe said.

"You wanted to see me, professor?" Scorpius said, in his arms a small stack of books. His glasses were in his shirt pocket and his hair was disheveled as usual.

"Yes. I want you to tutor Potter, here, in Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, and Charms."

"That's quite the workload."

"Nothing you can't handle."

Scorpius shrugged. The blank look on his face made Lily nervous; did he approve? Was he harsh? Was it going to be like Zabini?

"You might have to work over some…resistance," Professor Wolfe said. "She was with Zabini."

Scorpius laughed. "Why did you do that?" he demanded. "You know he just breaks the poor kids."

"To be honest, I thought she just wasn't trying."

Scorpius glanced at Lily, his silver eyes closely examining her.

"What's your best subject?" he asked.

"Right now…potions."

"What was it?" He came into the room, put his books and back on the floor with a dull thud, and sat down in the chair.

"Divination."

"You aren't taking it?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I was pulled."

"You pulled her from her best class?" he turned to Wolfe, a look of incredulity on his face.

"Favorite and best are two very different things. If she could get her magic under control, she would excel in the wand-based subjects much more than at divination," Wolfe said, crossing his long arms over his chest. Scorpius leaned back in his chair and folded his own arms.

"Alright, then. Every day, an hour before dinner. Meet in the abandoned classroom next to the divination tower. Ok?" Scorpius said.

Lily nodded. Scorpius intimidated her. He held himself with such authority, such power, that she couldn't help but struggle to swallow around him. He made her feel smaller than she was, like an ant maybe, or a small child.

"Lily, you can leave. I would like to speak with Scorpius for a moment."

Lily nodded and left the dungeon, her heart throbbing against her ribs and her voice caught in her throat.

3

"You really need to calm down," Kelsie said, grabbing a piece of toast.

"We have a bloody transfiguration exam first period, and I don't know what in the world I'm supposed to do," Lily said, putting her elbows on the table and rubbing her face with her open hands. "I can't do it."

"Oh, shove it, already," Zabini said harshly, balancing eggs on the end of his fork. "You've done the damned spell enough."

"I've flicked my wand around. I've said the incantation. I've never done the spell," Lily moaned.

"Just be quiet and eat some breakfast. You aren't going to do very well on an empty stomach," Kelsie said, throwing a piece of toast at her.

Lily ignored it. She couldn't eat right now. She couldn't even think straight right now. In less than a half an hour, she had to do a spell she had never done before.

"Look, if you relax, then I'm sure you'll do better," Kelsie said.

"That's your answer for everything, isn't it?" Lily said.

"Have I ever been wrong?" Kelsie threw another piece of toast at Lily.

"I need to go study," Lily said, standing up.

"Lily," Kelsie said despairingly.

"It's too late to study," Zabini said.

Lily didn't listen. She couldn't just sit there and do nothing. She had to do something.

3

Professor Ryder stood behind Lily, watching her work. Lily stared at the cat, her lower lip clenched between her teeth, her brows furrowed in concentration. She could do this. She envisioned the jewelry box. She knew what it was supposed to look like. Her back was cramped from hunching over for almost an hour. Some of the people around her were already done, their boxes at the front of the room.

"Yes!" the only other person in the room – a clumsy Gryffindor – said, raising his hands in victory. Lily watched as he triumphantly placed his gold and red box at the front of the room. He left, a broad grin haphazardly spread across his face.

"Focus, Lily," Ryder said, her melodious voice ringing in Lily's ears.

She was focusing. She was focusing harder than she had all year. She was focusing harder at this than she ever had at quidditch. She had more focus now than during any time in divination. She rubbed her eyes briefly and stared at the innocent gray cat. She flicked, spun, and twirled her wand while saying the incantation.

"Meow."

She did it again.

"Meow."

Lily stared at the cat, envisioned the box, and did it again.

"Meow."

Anger got caught in Lily's chest. Why couldn't she do this? Her parents could. Her brothers could. Even Jim got a N.E.W.T. in transfiguration. Why did she have to be such a squib about it?

She performed the spell again.

"Meow."

She lifted her wand to do it again, but Ryder caught her hand. Lily looked over at the relatively young teacher – barely thirty – and felt panic grip her. Had she done something wrong?

"I think you should leave, Lily," Ryder said softly.

"What? No; I can do this."

Lily pulled her hand away from Ryder and raised it. She did it again.

"Meow."

"Lily, listen to me." Ryder spun her around to look her in the face. "It has nothing to do with your mechanics. It has nothing to do with the incantation. Mechanically, everything is fine. Ok?"

"I don't understand."

Ryder sighed and looked away.

"You're going to be late for potions," Ryder said, motioning to the hourglass by her desk.

Lily wanted to object. She wanted to tell her that she didn't have potions today. That she didn't have anywhere to go. She wanted to stay there, to finish the task, to succeed. She wanted it more than anything. Lily put her wand in her bag, her bag over her shoulder and left the room, tears beginning to overwhelm her.


	6. Chapter 6

Lily sat with her back against one of the cold walls in the Slytherin common room. She was far away from the fire, only a flicker of the light reaching her in her secluded spot. The hard floor was uncomfortable, but it was far more suitable than the leather couches. All she wanted to do was curl up in a corner. And that was exactly what she was doing.

She couldn't believe she hadn't been able to do that, transfigure a bloody cat. Of all the things to fail at, it had to be transfiguration, it had to be the very thing Al excelled at. She would never live this down. There was no way in the world she would be able to live this down.

"Hey, Lil," Kelsie said, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor next to her.

"Hey."

"I heard what happened today."

Lily's cheeks flamed with embarrassment; who else knew? It was probably that Gryffindor prat. She would have to get them back later.

"Maybe…maybe you do have a bit less magic than most of us."

Lily clenched her teeth.

"I mean, it can't be your fault."

"Is that what you think? That it's my fault? How can it be my fault? I do everything I'm told to the letter. I practice more than anyone else. You know this. How can you think that I'm the one in the wrong?"

"That's not it. You're losing face. And because of it, Slytherin is losing face. I mean, the other students only see two things; prefect, and your marks. And they don't add up."

"I don't want to talk about this."

"I need to."

"Shove it."

Lily stood up and went to her room, curled up under her blankets, and went to bed.

3

Lily would give anything not to have to do this. Someone had dropped the hint to the other houses that her marks weren't satisfactory. All she'd been hearing all day was how wretched she was doing. How she was never going to amount to anything.

Scorpius was already there, sitting at a desk in the room by the divination tower, his uniform sleeves rolled up above his elbows, his shirt untucked. He had discarded his tie and was bowed over a book. He looked up and grinned.

"Ah, good, now we can begin." He stood up and closed the book. "Can I see your wand?"

"Why?" Lily slipped her hand in her bag and put her hand on the slender piece of wood.

"I want to know what I'm up against."

Tentatively, Lily drew out the piece of equipment, having half a mind to break the stupid thing, and placed it in Scorpius's shapely hands. He flipped it around in his hands a few times, gave it a few flicks, and held it up in the light of the torches on the wall.

"It's kind of small," he murmured. "How long is it?"

"Ten inches." It was respectable, nothing too short. He made it sound like it was a midget. True, it was thin, but it suited her much better than Jim's clunky one. It was streamlined, entirely appropriate for a young witch.

"Looks shorter than it is, I suppose. Oak?"

"Yes."

"What's the core? I don't recognize it."

"Tailfeather of a bloody hippogriff. Olivander said it was an experiment. He thought it was a failure until I came in and it chose me. I still think it's a failure." Lily crossed her arms and looked disdainfully at the sliver of wood in Scorpius's hands.

"I think that might be your problem, then," he said, handing the wand back.

"I need a new wand?"

"No, not at all. You need to respect the wand. You're halfway right now. The wand has chosen you, but you have failed to choose it. It wants respect and you're ashamed of it. You can't do that. Get it a nice case to put it in when you go to bed. Polish it a bit. Take care of it. Until the relationship with your wand is solid, there isn't anything I can do for you."

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Lily, the wand is a part of you. Both of you are bloody arrogant. Both of you demand respect. Both of you are unyielding. Both of you have great potential that is untapped. You need to bend to your pride and submit to the wand."

Lily slipped it in her bag.

"Are we meeting tomorrow?" she asked.

"Here." He gave her some polish and a cloth. "Take care of the wand, will you?" Lily took the items, slipped them in her bag, and went to dinner.

3

Lily's wand practically stared at her from the nightstand. The firelight from the candles shined off its polished surface, nearly blinding the prefect. Her wand had always been obstinate. Just not this obstinate. Up until her fourth year, she could at least do the majority of the spells. Now, she could barely do any. She didn't know when this decline began, or when it would stop. But she was getting sick of it.

She was a witch. There was no reason why she should be subservient to a stick. Neither of her brothers had the joy of having to bend over backwards for their wands. Then again, neither of them had the same core. Jim had a dragon heartstring, and Al a phoenix feather. And what did she get stuck with? The demanding hippogriff feather. She always ended up with the worst deal.

It was almost time for potions. She reached out to grab her wand, but when she put her fingers on it, the wood burned them.

"Shit!" she howled, jumping up from her bed. "What was that for?"

The tips of her fingers red, she grabbed at it again. This time, it was ice cold. Like all the magic had gone from it. Fighting against the notion, she put it in her bag. Quickly, she left the room, nursing burnt fingers and racing against the clock.

3

Scorpius leaned against the wall and stared at Lily, a disappointed look on his face. His wand sat in front of him, a narrow tendril of silver slipping from its tip, making its way to Lily's wand on the other side of the room. Lily was supposed to be making her wand do the same thing. She was met with resistance every time.

"You need to love your wand," Scorpius said. "More than a lover. You need to love it like it's the only thing that can complete you. Like it's the only thing that can make you happy. You need to handle it with care, as if it'll break if you don't. You need to constantly keep an eye on it, as if it will run away. You need to respect it like you would your mother or father, give it its room when it wants it. Hold it close when you need it. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"I understand what, not why." Lily narrowed her gaze.

"Do you want to get back on the quidditch team or not?" he demanded, for the first time in weeks raising his voice at her.

It silenced her quickly. The power, the force, behind it made her bones tremble. It made her cold to disappoint him like this, but there was nothing she could do. She didn't even think about refuting him.

Scorpius began pacing back and forth, running his hands anxiously through his hair.

"I don't know what to do, Lily. I don't. I don't think there is anything I can do. Maybe you don't respect yourself enough, I don't know. I really don't. I wish I did. I wish I could help. But I don't think I can. Really, Lily, I'm sorry." He stopped walking and looked at her, his silver eyes squinted in confusion. "Maybe after vacation I'll have a better idea of how to handle this. I'll talk to some people and see what I can do. Don't stop taking care of your wand just because you can't use it. Have a nice vacation." Scorpius left the room.

Lily felt empty, as if she had been rubbed raw and put out in the sun to burn. Slumped against the wall, she closed her eyes. There was nothing she could do now. She didn't know what to do now.


	7. Chapter 7

Lily sat up in her bed at the Burrow, her breathing hard. Sweat dripped down the side of her face. She had a dream again. She struggled not to cry. She struggled not to scream in panic.

"He's ok," she told herself. "He's fine."

The first tear dripped from her eye and slid down her cheek. She couldn't fool herself. The eagle had died this time, convulsed on the ground while the horse, stag, moose, elk, and fox watched. None of them could have helped him. None of them did.

She buried her face in her hands, unable to contain her sobbing.

3

"Mum, do you know when Teddy's showing up?" James asked, sitting next to Lily at the table.

"I'm not sure he is," she said, not looking up from the prophet. "Last I heard, he was busy with ministry business. I think he will be for a bit longer. Isn't that right, Harry?"

"He was given an honor with his latest assignment. It'll be at least another two weeks," their dad said, sitting at the head of the table.

Lily stared at her toast and clenched her teeth. Her breathing was unsteady, as if at any moment she would break out sobbing again. It certainly felt like she would; the weight hadn't lifted from her chest, yet. Usually it did after a few more hours of sleep.

"What's wrong, Lily?" her dad asked.

"I…I had a dream last night," Lily said tentatively.

Her father always listened to her dreams. He took them seriously, too, as if they were a matter of life and death.

"Yeah?" he asked, leaning forward in his chair. "What was it?"

"It…it was an eagle, dying in convulsions…while a horse, stag, moose, elk, and fox watched."

Her voice was barely above a whisper. They were the condemning words of death, she knew. James snorted and shook his head.

"You and your wacky dreams," he said casually, biting into an apple.

He was ignored. Her dad looked at her mum, an unsure look on his face. Her mum stared at her daughter, silent for a moment. Lily bit her lip, fighting to keep her breathing under control. She felt like she was going to vomit.

"It'll be alright, Lil," her dad said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I'm going to go to the ministry for a bit. I'll be back by lunch, if all goes well."

He disapparated without another word.

3

"I want to play outside," Vicky said, laying down on the floor of the burrow in the sweater Grandma Weasley made for her last Christmas, the deep purple her obvious favorite.

"Then go," Al said, turning a page in his book.

"I don't want to go alone. I need to wait for Paul."

"Does he have to come?" Jim asked, not bothering to shield the disgust in his voice.

He still hadn't acclimated himself to the idea of Vicky being with anyone other than Teddy even though it had been almost five years since they split up.

"Why don't you go play with Flora?" Al asked, turning yet another page.

"She's with Lou at Shell Cottage. He's…I don't know what he's doing to her, but I've been told it's a surprise."

"I would be nervous," Jim said. "Lou on his own makes me nervous."

"Oh, he's going on fourteen; I'm sure he can hold is own against my four year old. Besides, he's got more veela in him than she does."

"Yeah, but she's also got Teddy's genes," Al murmured.

"And that's what makes me nervous. It'd be ok if Flora wasn't the hyperactive little girl she really is," Jim said.

"Oh, be quiet. She isn't that hyper. Only when she sees your red hair. It just riles her up," Vicky defended, rolling onto her back.

"Come on! Are you telling me that she just gets hyper when she sees a Weasley?"

"Lil, why are you so quiet?" Vicky said suddenly.

Lily looked at her and tentatively drew a breath. Should she tell her? Lily knew she still harbored feelings for Teddy, that even though they were broken up they still loved each other a bit. They were like siblings, or extraordinarily close friends. When Teddy's fiancé broke up with him, Vicky was the one to comfort him. And when Vicky failed her first few rounds of St. Mungo's entrance exams, the only one who could bring a smile to her face was Teddy. Vicky, unlike Jim, took the divination stuff seriously. If she was privy to Lily's dream, she would be devastated, and Christmas probably ruined.

"No reason," Lily said, forcing a grin. "I'm just having some problems with my wand."

"What kind of problems?" she asked, sitting up.

"Ah, well, it…it's being…obstinate."

"Sounds about right," Jim muttered.

"Shove it, Jim," Lily said. "Scorpius says I need to respect it or some such rubbish."

"Scorpius?" Al sneered, putting down his book. "As in the Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy?"

"Er…yes," Lily said.

"What are you doing with him?"

"Well…he's tutoring me. And he's a fellow prefect."

"I can't stand that kid," Al grumbled. "He thinks he's all that and knows everything, but he hardly knows all the uses of dragon blood."

"Evidently he knows a thing or two about wands, though," Vicky butted in, cutting off any rebuke Lily was about to make. "That's actually pretty good advice. The first mistake most young witches and wizards make is treating their wand like a stick. It isn't a stick. It's an extension of yourself. It has a personality. Some go so far as to name their wand. Is he apprenticing to Ollivander?"

"I…why would you ask that?" Lily asked.

"It seems he has an understanding of wands deeper than most students. It's just an observation, really. Anyway, you really should respect your wand."

"What? That's the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard!" Jim said. "Why would she serve a piece of wood?"

"You're so thick, James," Al muttered.

"Hey, I had problems with my wand after I started actually dating Teddy," Vicky said.

"But you have a veela core; of course your wand is going to need, or at the very least want, more attention," Jim argued.

"I'm not arguing this with you," Vicky sighed, folding her hands behind her head. "It isn't worth my time. But seriously, Lily, you should think about respecting the wand."

Lily wished she had never brought up her wand. Vicky was always right, and Vicky being right meant Scorpius was right which meant she was wrong. Generally speaking, the Potters hated being wrong.


	8. Chapter 8

Lily couldn't get to sleep. She knew Teddy wasn't alright. He was still alive, sure, but he wasn't…he wasn't doing well. Her father had told her mother that he was doing fine, but Lily knew better. She wanted to go down to the living room, where she knew he was sitting, and tell him so.

She glanced at the narrow box on her dresser, inside her wand. The thing had been polished every night so far, the fierce heat that had previously coursed through it slowly returning. When she touched it, it was warm. It wasn't an angry warmth, but a comfortable one.

It was enough.

She stood up, her feet cold against the wood floor, and crept out of her room. It was dark, everyone else but she and her father sleeping. She slid down the stairs, carefully avoiding the creaky boards, and stepped into the kitchen.

Sure enough, he sat there, his head resting in his open hand, his glasses next to him on the table. He had a steaming mug of something or other in front of him. Lily slid into the chair across from him.

"You should be in bed, Lil," he said softly, looking at her. His green eyes reflected the hanging light eerily.

"I can't sleep."

"Teddy's fine."

"No he isn't."

He lowered his head, silent. Lily stared at him. She wanted answers. She yearned for them. Her entire being ached in accordance to that need. She couldn't sleep because of it. She could hardly think straight because of it.

"I can't tell you," he said, shaking his head. "I can't. You're too young."

"I'm already involved."

"Lily, please, you're fifteen…you don't understand how the ministry works."

"I don't care how the ministry works. I care about Teddy. I care about how he is. And I know he isn't well."

"You won't understand."

"Do you really think that lowly of me?"

"It has nothing to do with that."

"Then why won't you tell me?" Lily strained to keep her voice low, her frustration beginning to climax.

"You need to listen, Lily. I can not tell you. The ministry will kill me for telling a girl."

"Am I just a girl? I was the one who had the bloody dream. I was the one who came to you. And now you're excluding me? Now you're ignoring me like I'm some kind of tool?"

"That isn't it!" He managed to keep his voice down while exuding all the emotion he wanted to.

"Then why won't you tell me? Why are you using me?"

"Lily!" He stood up, glaring down at her. "Never accuse me of using you. I would never do that. I'm trying to protect you."

"Maybe I don't want to be protected. Maybe I don't need to be protected. Have you thought of that?" She stood up herself, drawing to her full height in her pink pajamas, her anger overwhelming her. "Maybe I'm old enough now to handle the nitty gritty stuff of the ministry! I'm a prefect, I'm not stupid."

"I'm not saying you are."

"Then why won't you tell me?" Tears rose behind her eyes. She clenched her tongue to prevent them from running. Her father stared at her, gauging her, his eyes betraying the debate going on in his head. He slumped back down into his seat and took a sip of his tea.

"The ministry lost track of him. We don't know where he or the rest of his crew went," he said morosely, running his hand over his stubble. "It's the first time this has happened…the first time since I…since I became director." His voice caught in his throat.

A cold bucket of ice washed over Lily. So that was it, then. He was lost, with the rest of them.

"Who else is on his crew?" Lily asked, her voice no longer wavering with emotion but rather harsh with an air of imperativeness, and sat down.

Her father looked up at her, his eyes glimmering with impending tears, a look of incredulity written on his face.

"Why?" he whispered.

"I…I need to know."

"That's too much information. It's bordering on confidential."

"But it isn't."

"It's too close for comfort, I can't tell you."

"You're the director; no one will question you."

"Lily! I gave you my answer, don't push it."

Lily gritted her teeth. It was probably the most inconsequential piece of information she could have asked for, and he refused to give it. Without a word, she got up and went back to her room.

She still couldn't sleep.

3

"Lily, you look terrible!" Molly said between laughs, waving down her cousin. Lily grinned and entered the kitchen, the absolutely intoxicating scent of Grandma Weasley's cinnamon buns at last enticing her from the nest of her room.

"Yeah?" Lily asked, her voice hoarse.

"You sound terrible, too."

"I know." She sat down and helped herself to a cinnamon bun.

"Sick on Christmas, that's rough," Molly said, sipping her hot chocolate. Lily grunted and tore a piece of pastry and shoved it in her mouth. As usual, it melted there, coating her tongue and cheeks with sweet sugar and leaving a mass of fluffy pastry.

"When you'd get here?" Al asked Molly, sitting across from her.

"A bit ago. Mum, Dad, and Lucy are around here somewhere. I'm thinking they're outside." She put a marshmallow in her cup and stirred it around with her spoon.

"Crap, it's bad outside!" Vicky yelled, bursting into the kitchen, all her clothes frosted with snow.

Flora was by her side, the only part of her body not swathed with clothing a narrow strip at her eyes. She looked like she had been dumped in a vat of powdered sugar while wet. The little girl could barely move. Molly stood up and helped her undress herself. When her hat was removed, white pigtails turned pink, her face grinning.

"Oi, you think you could give us some help?" Dominique demanded from the door, his hands full of boxes. Al stood up to help him out and put the boxes in the other room under the tree. Lily couldn't help but grinning when she saw Al taller than Dom.

"'ello Leely," Aunt Fleur said, wrapping her arms around her niece.

"Hello," Lily said, wiping frosting from her mouth. "Merry Christmas."

"'Oo, too," she said, disengaging herself.

"Lou, just suck it up and bring in the rest of the boxes," Uncle Bill said, his face red with cold.

"I can't carry them all!" Louis shouted back, coming into the kitchen, his arms laden with boxes up to his chin.

"Uncle Charlie can't carry them!" Uncle Bill dropped the boxes he was carrying in the kitchen and went back outside. Lou followed suit.

A series of cracks in the living room produced Uncle Ron, Aunt Hermione, and Rose. The whooshing fireplace deposited Hugo stumbling through the kitchens.

"I'll never get the hang of that," he muttered, brushing soot off of himself. Lily grinned at him, knowing it was true. From the stories she had heard, Uncle Ron was just as graceful as young Hugo.

"Ah, Hugo, you're getting soot all over the place," Aunt Hermione said, waving her wand at the mess he made.

"It's not my fault I still can't apparate!" Hugo took off his boots, the bottoms black, and tossed them by the fire. He slid into the chair next to Molly and grabbed a cinnamon bun.

"I can't believe they made me wake up so early," he muttered, his mouth full of pastry.

"It happens every year, don't it?" Lily said, rubbing her eyes. She wished she could fall asleep, find some kind of respite there from this nagging headache.

"That's irrelevant. I still have to get up." He yawned, stretching out his arms.

"Good morning, Lil, Molly, Flora," Rose said. "I'm going outside. I hear Fred and Jim got some explosives to try out."

"Lily!" her mum snapped when she entered the kitchen. "Go put on some proper clothes; the Longbottoms and Malfoys are coming this year."

"Malfoys?" Hugo spat, his face twisted in disgust.

"Yes, Harry decided that they needed some good Weasley love, so be good, Hue."

"Why didn't anyone tell me this sooner?" Lily asked, grabbing the last cinnamon bun before getting up.

"Just go get dressed," her mum said, ushering her up the stairs.


	9. Chapter 9

Lily stared at her clean clothes. She didn't have much of an option, really. She was going to wear her red sweater her grandmother made for her last year, but with Scorpius coming…screw it. It was the only thing she had clean. She pulled a white tee-shirt over her head, and threw on her sweater. Annoyed again with how differently her clothes had been fitting her lately, she glanced in the mirror. It looked fine. Her jeans clung to her hips probably a little too tightly for her father's comfort, but there was nothing she could do about it. All her pants fit like that.

"Oye, Lily," Jim said, pounding on her door. "Hurry up, mum said you've got three minutes or you're not getting your presents."

"Fine!" Lily snapped back.

She pulled her hair back haphazardly, not even bothering to try to tame the mess. After glancing at her wand on the dresser, she ran down stairs in her socks. Sliding through the kitchen, she entered the sitting room and was flustered for a moment about where, exactly, to sit. It seemed every seat was taken and most of the floor covered with teenagers. The Malfoy brothers sat on one of the benches, both of them with a similar disassociated look on their faces. Lily caught their eyes and they exchanged the usual Slytherin nod. The boys slid over and Lily sat next to Scorpius.

"You know," Aeolus said, leaning over, "red doesn't look half bad on you."

"Shove it," Lily replied, a slight smirk on her lips. Despite the image she wanted to give her family, she enjoyed getting compliments on her appearance. From across the room, Lily could see Jim stiffen, his eyes boring holes into Aeolus.

"You know he won't," Scorpius added.

"I know."

"First round of presents," Grandma Weasley said. Flora went around, giving everyone their presents, lumpy packages and small boxes.

"Which one is Eeeooluuus?" Flora asked, drawing out the name and looking at the two Malfoy boys. Aeolus raised his hand, grinning at the small girl.

"Thank you," he said, taking the package.

She grinned and tossed the other package at Scorpius. Lily grinned and took hers. Flora sat down on Lily's lap and stared at Grandma Weasley. She nodded her head and everyone opened their presents as fast as they could. A pink sweater and box of fudge tumbled out of Lily's package onto her lap. Aeolus got a yellow sweater and Scorpius a black one.

"This is a nice knit," Scorpius mused, holding the sweater up to the light. He wasted no time in slipping it over his white button-down shirt and tie. Loosening his green tie, he glanced at Aeolus. Aeolus forced a grin and put on his own yellow sweater.

"It's nice," Aeolus said, taking a piece of fudge out of the box. "This fudge is amazing! Skip, you have to try this." He shoved a piece in Scorpius's mouth. Scorpius spit it out in his hand.

"Don't' do that," Scorpius demanded.

"Oh, come on. It isn't that bad."

"I didn't say it was bad."

Scorpius put it back in his mouth and sucked on it, an impassive look on his face. He rolled his tongue around his mouth a few times and nodded his head.

"Pretty good," Scorpius said.

"Pretty good? No, very good, Skip, very good."

Aeolus displayed no shame in his love for Grandma Weasley's fudge. Lily hid her grin and placed both her sweater and Flora's little purple one on the floor next to them. Flora was already consuming her fudge with a vivacity only known to the young of the Weasley clan. Flora hopped off of Lily, going back to help Uncle Percy with his presents.

"So, Lily, have you done anything terribly exciting so far this vacation?" Scorpius asked, watching her open her present from Uncle Percy – the usual restocking of parchment and ink.

"No. Thanks, Uncle Percy!"

Percy nodded his head, a grin on his face. There was nothing he took more pride in than treating his nieces and nephews to educational tools.

"What about you two?" Lily asked, taking a package delivered by Flora from Uncle Charlie.

"The usual. Went to a quidditch game, hunted some kneazles, tested out the new Nimbus…nothing terribly exciting," Aeolus said. "This loaf laid around the house all week, though. Don't know what got into him."

"I was reading, Ace. Geeze, I would have thought you'd know me well enough by now to realize it."

"What were you reading?" Lily asked, beginning to peel back the brown paper around the box.

"Just some books on wands."

"Why?" Aeolus demanded, a look of disgust passing across his face.

"I was just wondering if there was a significant difference in power between the usual cores – unicorn hair, dragon heartstring, and phoenix feather – and the more…difficult cores – thestral hair, hippogriff feather, and veela hair."

"And your results?" Lily asked, pulling the box free from its packaging.

"Inconclusive."

"Uncle Charlie!" Lily jumped up, flung open her box, and stared at a beautiful pair of sleek dragon hide boots. She started jumping up and down, unable to control her enthusiasm. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" She put them carefully on the bench and ran over to him, nearly knocking him over.

"Well, I'm glad you like them," he said between laughs. "I was worried they might be a little too old fashioned."

"What? Are you kidding? They're perfect!" She squeezed him again, hoping to imbue him with all the joy and love she felt for her knew shoes.

"Why don't you go sit back down?" Vicky said. "I want to know what Uncle George got me."

"You already know," Lily said, settling back down.

"Shove it, Lil," she replied, grinning, and threw the box from Uncle George at her.

Lily just barely managed to catch it, heavier than it had been last year. Aeolus and Scorpius both received similar packages. As she expected, it was a chest of Weasley Wizard Wheezes, the old favorites. Uncle Ron dished out his goods, a similar chest, but of the new products. Fred and Jim were explaining something to Roxy and Lou – something about how the new dungbombs work.

"Uh…what are we supposed to do with these?" Aeolus asked. Scorpius shrugged.

"Throw them at Gryffindors. The dungbombs, I mean. Use some of the old favorites, like the nosebleed nougat, to get out of the history of magic, and others, like the puking pastel, for transfiguration," Lily explained, pointing out the candies she was referring to.

"Nifty," Scorpius muttered, picking up a nosebleed nougat and examining the packaging. "Mum never let us have these before. She was afraid we would bleed out."

Lily glanced over at the Mrs. Malfoy. Sure enough, she was eying the contents of the chests from across the room, shaking her head. The Mr. Malfoy chuckled at her and whispered something in her ear.

"This is from Uncle Bill." Flora put the next package on top of Lily. It was surprisingly light, as if it was made of air. When she opened it, she just stared. It was a crystal ball. Tearing her eyes from it, she glanced at Aunt Fleur.

"From France, zhat," her aunt said, smiling.

"We were told divination was your best subject, so we figured you could use some practice outside of Hogwarts. Help you cultivate your gifts and all that," Uncle Bill said.

"Thanks," Lily said, carefully placing it back in its box.

She bit her lip and took the package from her parents, her hands shaking. What would compel them to get her a crystal ball? Her heart pounded against her chest. A part of her wanted to look into it, to figure out what was going on with Teddy. The other part wanted to hide, to curl up in a ball. Scorpius had seen her get the gift. No one but the two Malfoy boys knew she was pulled from divination. It was oddly embarrassing.

"Go ahead, open them up," her dad said.

Her parents had given her a book. She really wasn't sure what it was, but it was definitely a book. She flipped it open and the pages were blank. A journal? She glanced at her father. She had never wanted a journal or expressed interest in a journal. Why would they give her one now?

"That, Lily," her mum said, "is a book that remembers everything you write in it. You date everything, and when you want to recall a piece of writing, you write the date and tap it with your wand, and whatever it was that you wrote on that day appears again. It's a nifty little thing."

"Yeah…thanks," she said, holding the brown leather book in her hands.

She wasn't going to get a chance to try out the crystal ball tonight. Or tomorrow, based on how these celebrations were usually drawn out. Forcing a smile, she put the book down on the floor.

"There's one more round," her dad said. "These are from the Malfoys."

Lily weighed the package she was given in her hands. Scorpius watched her, a grin on his lips.

"What?" she demanded.

"I just want to know what you think of it," he replied.

"You sound like you're invested or something," she scoffed.

"Maybe I am."

Lily looked at him; what did he just say?

"Just open it," Aeolus said. "Skip'll piss his pants if you don't do it soon."

Lily slipped her finger under the paper and pulled. A narrow box, no thicker than an inch and no shorter than ten and a quarter inches, was revealed.

"The wood, metal, and lining are specially designed to mold with your wand," Scorpius said.

"It's a wand box?" Lily looked at him, her eyes wide. This was not a gift to be sneezed at.

"I figured it would do you good to have one. From what I've seen, your poor wand is used for everything from a bookmark to a paper weight. If you're going to make any progress, you need one."

"Thanks." She tucked it behind her sweater.

"Now that we have that out of the way!" Uncle Bill said, standing up. "Why don't you all go and figure out where, exactly, you're sleeping tonight, and then when you come back down, we can have dinner."

In a throng of murmurs, excitement, people claiming spots, and other such nonsense, the whole lot of the Weasley clan surged up the stairs. Lily already knew where she was sleeping, in the room with Vicky, Flora, Molly, Lucy, Rose, Roxanne, and Delilah Longbottom. It was crowded, but always enjoyable.


	10. Chapter 10

One of the few times, Lily decided, that you could clearly see both the differences and similarities between Aeolus and Scorpius were when they were sitting next to their parents. Lily stared at the four of them, struck by Aeolus's similarity to his mother, his slight build and facial features echoing her side of the family, and awed at how much like his father Scorpius looked, from his hair to his build to his generally aloof demeanor. But both of them had the same clear grey eyes, Aeolus's dancing with mischief, Scorpius's churning with thought. Every now and then, she would glance at Scorpius, take in his strong appearance, his narrow nose and lips. Every time, she would turn away before he noticed, instead paying attention to Molly and Lucy's conversations. Every time, feelings of respect, of awe, of fear, of admiration were stirred within her. He was not like either of her brothers or any of her uncles or any of her cousins. Aeolus echoed of Jim and Fred, with their goals for world domination through tickling people into submission. But Scorpius…even Al could not compete with his air of supreme intelligence. Maybe it was the blonde boy's pride, the way he held himself and a result of his upbringing. Maybe it was his demeaning view of the world, that he genuinely believed he was superior. But when he wore Grandma Weasley's sweater, Lily could think anything negative of him.

"So, Lily," Scorpius said finally. "Do you have any plans for the rest of the vacation?"

"No, I suppose not. Al has a few books he wants me to read. I'm not sure I will."

Scorpius nodded and put a piece of ham in his mouth. He chewed for a long time. Lily diverted her gaze towards Lucy and Molly, not wanting to seem like she was staring at him for no reason.

"Lily, would you be interested in going to Diagon Ally with me one day?" Scorpius asked coyly, his cup to his lips.

"What?" Lily turned her attention back to him, not sure what she had just heard.

"Do you want to go to Diagon Ally with me sometime?"

Lily felt like her heart would jump out of her chest, seizing the emotions coursing through her veins as power to finally break free. She smiled, nearly laughed, and started to nod her head.

"Absolutely not!" Al snapped, brandishing his fork at Scorpius. "Do you hear me? I will not allow you to defile my sister!"

"Albus!" Lily shouted, horrified. How could he ruin this for her?

"Be quiet, you. You don't know anything about him," Albus said, turning briefly to Lily. Lily glanced at Scorpius. His eyes were downcast, staring at his plate, and his face was paler than usual. He glanced up at Al, his jaw clenched, but his general demeanor composed.

"Did he just ask you out?" James demanded, standing up at the other end of the table. "I'm not letting any bloody Slytherin date you, Lily. I'm sorry. You deserve better than that."

"What are you talking about? I am a Slytherin! Are you telling me you wouldn't date a Gryffindor?" Lily demanded, feeling her face red. She would not let them get away with this unscathed.

"That's completely different," James insisted. "He's Slytherin."

"He's a prefect!"

"He's a Malfoy," Al said.

"He's Scorpius!"

"You don't understand his reputation. You can't. You can't fathom what kind of a boy he is," Jim said, crossing his arms and staring down at his little sister.

"First of all, James," Scorpius said, his voice low and demanding. "I don't have a reputation. The only context I am actually known is in the context of football, boxing, and academics. All three of those my reputation is a positive one. In terms of girls, I have had one prior relationship and she was the one who broke up with me, just so you know. And for Albus, I would have expected more from my intellectual equal. I'm insulted. Lastly, I asked Lily. I did not ask you, James, or you, Albus. I asked Lily. It's her decision."

Lily sent quick glances at her brothers to see how they received this chastisement. Both of them were red in the faces, as if they were about to explode, and both of them glared at her. She looked at Scorpius. His jaw was set, his eyes narrowed. He had a purpose about him.

He caught her eyes and said softly, "If you would prefer, you can let me know later. And now, if you will all kindly excuse me." He stood up from the table, pushing his chair in after him, and went upstairs.

"Well," Aunt Fleur said. "'Ee certainlee 'az mannerz."

3

"What are you going to tell him?" Roxy asked Lily.

"I don't know," Lily muttered, staring into the darkness.

"Oh, come on. Don't give us that shit," Rose said, a pillow smashing into Lily's face.

Lily nudged it away, mildly annoyed. She didn't want to think about that right now. She didn't want to imagine the awkwardness going on in the boy's room without the neutralizing factor of Teddy. She could hear the tension through the walls.

"Seriously, what are you going to say?" Delilah asked.

"Shut up," Lily said.

"Oh, come on, I saw the way you stared at his ass," Molly said.

"You guys, please watch your language. Flora picks up everything these days," Vicky snapped.

There were brief mumblings of apologies and everyone fell silent for a while. Lily basked in the darkness, letting it wash over her and steal her away. A boy -- and older boy -- finally asked her out, none of those little oblivious second and third years. And what was her response? She hadn't; Al had responded. James had rebuked him. They hadn't let her get two cents in. She wanted to throttle them, to destroy them, to kill them – anything to make them be quiet.

"James and Al are gits," Lucy said morosely.

"Yep," Rose said. "You should have seen Hugo; he was getting to jump in, too. I'm glad he didn't, though. Lil probably would have shit her pants."

"Rose!" Vicky snapped. Rose murmured apology.

"I think I would have laughed if that happened," Lucy said, holding back giggles unsuccessfully. Soon, Lucy had Delilah and Roxy joining in her giggle-fest. Lily rolled her eyes and tried to ignore them.

"Could you imagine?" Roxy said, her voice loud. "I don't think Scorpius would want to go out with you, then!" They started giggling.

"All of you, be quiet!" Vicky snapped again.

They fell silent for a single moment, and then Lucy whispered something. They all burst out laughing.

"Shut up!" Rose said, throwing her pillow across the room.

"Forget this," Lily said. She stood up, grabbed her pillow and blanket, and left. She didn't want to talk with any of them. She didn't want to listen to any of them. She went down the stairs and crashed on the kitchen table, the one room where there were no other inhabitants. Closing her eyes, she managed to find some respite from the treacherous vacation she had been having so far, the wide range of emotions, from complete despair to ecstatic happiness to despondent rage.

The light above her flicked on.

"G'outta here," Lily said, pulling the blanket up over her head.

"Lily?" It was Scorpius.

Lily snapped into a sitting position. She lost her balance and fell on the floor, landing awkwardly on her wrist, wrapped tightly in her blanket. She bit back the pain in her wrist, expecting it to be temporary.

"Are you ok?" Scorpius asked, gently helping her into a chair.

"I'm…fine…"she managed to say, her wrist pulsing with a bone-wrenching pain. He gently took her arm and glanced at it.

"I think you broke your arm."

"No…I'm fine."

"Really, Lily, just wait here." He disappeared from the kitchen, leaving Lily sitting amassed in her blankets, her cheeks redder than Jim's hair. Lily wanted to run away before he came back, to disappear in the gnome garden, to make it as if she was never in existence in the first place, to pretend as if this never happened. She knew her dream would never come, true, though, so she steeled herself against the possibility of Mr. Malfoy, the imposing Mr. Malfoy, entering the room with his wand.

"No, she just broke her wrist," Scorpius said, opening the door. Vicky entered the room, her hair askew and messy, slight bags under her eyes. Evidently life upstairs wasn't going so well. Her cousin grabbed her wrist aggressively, eliciting a, "What was that for?" from Lily. Wordlessly and mechanically, Vicky flicked out her wand and gently ran it up and down Lily's arm. Lily clenched her teeth against the temporary surge of pain coursing through her wrist, managing to keep herself from crying out.

Vicky pulled her wand back and the pain ceased. Lily tilted her head back and breathed deeply, wondering if she was going to break down and cry in front of Scorpius. She held back her tears.

"I'm going back to bed," Vicky muttered. "Lily, stay off tables."

Vicky disappeared behind the counter. Lily leaned back in the chair, her arm beginning to bruise. It was painful to move her wrist. She looked over at Scorpius, his large body standing in the door way.

"Why are you here, anyway?" Lily asked, rubbing her eyes in an effort to rid them of impending tears.

"I wanted a glass of water, but evidently I found a pile of Potter, instead," he said, settling down in a chair next to her. "Do you want anything?"

"I'm fine," Lily said.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, the only audible sound Uncle Bill snoring in the living room.

"Look, about today," Lily said. "I'm sorry for my brothers."

"Don't worry about it. I should have expected as much. If you don't want to go out, I'll understand."

"So…you still want to?"

"Only if you want to. I don't want to force you into anything uncomfortable."

Lily stared at him for a moment, captivated by the softness of his eyes. The emotion he could express with a simple glint in his cloudy irises astounded her. A quick chance of emotion and they went from a swirling pool of contentment to a fierce storm of rage.

"Can we wait until we're back at Hogwarts? I…I think it would be best if we gave Al and Jim a chance to get used to the idea first."

"Of course; I couldn't agree more. You want me to help you carry your things back to your room?"

"Uh…sure."


	11. Chapter 11

Lily couldn't see straight, her vision blurred. Her head spun, her hands shook. Teddy…Teddy…Where was Teddy? She looked around the dark room, groping for something to comfort her, a teddy bear, a pillow, a blanket. She grasped nothing. Just coldness. All around her the same thing, the same loneliness, the same painful reality. She didn't know where she was. She didn't know what she was doing.

"Lily!" Roxy said, shoving the girl off of her.

Lily shook her head and looked around, the rest of the girls in the room still sleeping.

"What are you doing?" Roxy demanded, pulling away from her grasp.

"I…nothing," she said.

Cold lingered around her shoulders, the mantle immovable. What had that been? The sun was just cracking the horizon, the sky a dull purple. Roxy had scrunched up with her pillow again, falling back into slumber. Lily's heart pounded against her chest. She had been…underground. He was underground. She felt her stomach drop from her body, fear and astonishment gripping her.

No, it couldn't be. Why would Teddy be underground?

They lost him, didn't they? Was there any reason to believe he wasn't?

Lily tried to lie down again and fall back asleep, but her anxiety prevented it. They didn't know where he was…he was underground…they wouldn't find him…cold…lonely…

She stood up, leaving behind her blanket and pillow, and crept downstairs. It was fruitless to try and get more sleep. Maybe she would find some reprieve in the kitchen, mixing up some pancakes or baking some brownies – anything to take her mind off of Teddy.

Her father sat at the table, his head bowed over a cup of tea. She ignored him, pulling the ingredients she needed from the cabinets. Faintly, she wondered if he was asleep. It wouldn't surprise her, really; he had fallen asleep at the table before.

"What are you doing, Lily?" her father asked, not moving an inch.

"Baking," she replied simply. It was too early for long sentences.

"Where is he?"

Her hands slowed their work, the dry ingredients sitting listless in a bowl. Her father knew her too well.

"Underground."

Lily began measuring the wet ingredients, not wanting to expound further.

"Anything else?"

"It's cold."

She bit her tongue, holding back her tears, and dumped the wet ingredients in with the dry ones and mixed furiously. He moved behind her, standing up and moving towards her. He put his heavy hand on the small of her back.

"It'll be alright, Lily."

Lily shook her head.

"No," she said. "It won't. He's going to die there, alone and cold, and there is nothing we can do about it."

Her father removed his hand, leaving her alone to shiver in the harsh wind of reality like a leaf on a tree. He didn't say anything more.

Lily deposited the batter in her pan and slid it into the oven. She slumped on the floor, leaning against the cabinet. Why was she privy to this? Tears burned her eyes. She drew her knees to her chest and buried her face in her arms. Why did she have to be subjected to it?

An image of Teddy – his turquoise hair faded into its natural brown, his face swollen and beaten, his body bloody and mangled – jarred her mind.

Her sleeves were wet with tears. She knew how he was – dieing and in pain, alone and cold – and yet she could do nothing. What was the point? What was the point? She couldn't even do an adequate spell, the only faint grasp of magic she had her potions. And what use was that in the real world? She couldn't save Teddy with that. She couldn't remove him from this hell he was in, bring him out of his despair.

"Lily?"

Shit. It was Scorpius. Lily could see his black boots, all polished in shiny in the obsessive way only he could polish them. She did not want him to see her like this.

"What's wrong?"

He sat down next to her, placing his arm firmly across her shoulders, his touch lighting her on fire.

"It's nothing," Lily said, quickly wiping the tears from his eyes. "I'm fine."

She pulled away from him, despite the temptation to let him comfort her, to bring her back to normal, to pull her from this despair. Scorpius did not deserve that burden. Standing up, she leaned against the counter for support while she struggled to regain her composure. All she needed was a few minutes alone…and then she would be fine.

"You can tell me, you know," he said, standing up but keeping his distance. "I won't tell anyone your secrets."

"I…I know," Lily said, peeking into the oven. The brownies were coming along nicely, not quite done yet, but getting to the point of moist yet firm.

"Do you not trust me?"

"I trust you," Lily said, beginning to get annoyed. Did he not understand she did not want to talk? Maybe she had to spell it out for him.

"Then why won't you tell me?"

Yep, she had to spell it out.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said, sitting on the counter.

Scorpius nodded and settled into a chair. Lily managed not to groan. All she needed was a few minutes alone. That's all. Nothing more.

"So why does it seem I always find you in the kitchen?" Scorpius asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It's the one place I'm guaranteed to find solitude," Lily said. "I'm the only one other than my grandmother who regularly cooks, so…unless my dad's reading the prophet or my brothers are eating, no one's in here usually."

"So I take it you don't have a house elf?"

"Nope."

"Good morning, Lil," Albus said, entering the kitchen. "Watcha making?"

He brazenly took the chair opposite Scorpius, giving his Slytherin counterpart a lopsided smile.

"G'morning, Al," Lily muttered. Now she definitely wasn't going to get any time alone.

"Ah! Lily! What are you doing still in your pajamas?" her grandmother said, bustling into the kitchen. "And with a boy, no less! I would expect more from you, young lady. Now get upstairs and change!"

After taking out her brownies, she followed the instruction of her grandmother; no one questioned the authority of Grandma Weasley.


	12. Chapter 12

"Do you guys have a soccer ball?" Scorpius asked, reclined casually on the couch.

"No," Jim said stiffly.

"Too bad; do you have anything to do?"

"No," Jim said.

"Aeolus, do you have your gobstone set?" Scorpius looked up at his brother, who was sitting in the corner with Flora and fussing over some blocks.

"No. Flora, you can't do that, because then it'll fall down," Aeolus said, quickly distracted from the needs of his brother.

"Lily, do you want to go for a walk or something?" Scorpius asked.

Lily looked up from her hands fiddling with Al's snitch. She didn't really want to go outside; it tended to be cold during winter. But…she was anxious. She needed to get out of the house, out of the confines of the Burrow, and breathe some fresh air.

"Sure," she said.

Quickly, she stepped into her boots, the fleece lining warming her toes almost immediately. Slipping on her jacket, she looked at Scorpius. He fiddled with a scarf around his neck, the green contrasting with his black sweater.

"You don't have a jacket?" she asked.

"I'm a Malfoy," he said arrogantly. "We don't use jackets."

Lily couldn't help but snort. He was going to freeze.

"I'm coming, too," Jim said, Fred right after him.

Why did they have to come? Lily hung her head and audibly sighed. There was no chance of much of anything, now. No chance for silence. No chance for talking about Lily's wand. Chances are, she or Scorpius or both of them were going to end up sopping wet, snow in their hair and down their shirts. Both Slytherins seemed to know it, exchanging brief glances with each other, and neither of them was enthused.

"What? Don't want us to come?" Fred asked, wrapping his arm playfully around Lily.

"No, I don't," Lily replied, pushing him off. "I'm not a kid."

"You're fifteen," Jim replied. "You might get eaten by a gnome."

"Scorpius is coming with me."

The pair of them blatantly stared at Scorpius, distrust evident in both of their eyes. Lily shook her head and grabbed Scorpius's wrist. Her pulse quickened at the contact, but she forced it to the back of her mind. She wasn't going to let Fred and Jim manipulate her.

"Come on," she said, dragging Scorpius out of the house.

Immediately, their breath began to rise in puffs of white, the cold started to seep into their clothes, and Scorpius felt the weight of the dead winter settle on him.

"It's colder than I thought," he muttered, shoving his hands obstinately in his pockets.

"Do you want a jacket?"

"No."

"Oi! Wait up!"

Lily turned around, highly annoyed. Why was Jim so insistent on this? He, too, had forgone a jacket, instead wearing his new sweater – dark brown – and a hat. Fred was behind him, his light blue sweater matching the thick snow around them.

"Why won't you leave us alone?" she asked.

"Well…I don't get to see you much at school, and I miss you."

"Ridiculous," Lily said. "You know it is, too."

Jim just shrugged, not bothering to answer. Fred was grinning his lopsided grin, a telltale sign Jim was fibbing. Lily rolled her eyes and kept walking, silently urging Scorpius to keep up with her. She set a pace she knew would annoy Fred and Jim, usually too fast for their easy-going nature. Scorpius kept up without a word, and, as Lily hoped, the space between the two pairs gradually increased. They turned a bend and Jim and Fred were out of sight.

"Where are you taking me?" Scorpius asked.

"You'll see."

She plowed off the road, the snow up to her thighs in some spots, and slowly made her way through the much trodden way to the lake. It was frozen this time of year. In fact, if they timed it right as she thought they had they would be able to see some muggles out on it, skating and fishing and playing around. She loved watching them, their bodies bundled in bulky clothing, their cheeks red, their heads capped with hats.

"You're going too slow," Scorpius muttered.

Lily glanced behind her and took a step. Her foot sunk deep into the snow, almost up to her waist. She cursed and tried to move, but found it impossible without falling over. Scorpius sighed and wrapped his arm around her and lifted her up with considerable ease.

"You want me to carry you?"

"No! Put me down. I can walk on my own."

Lily gritted her teeth as she sunk up to her waist in snow.

"Go ahead of me so I don't have to clear the path," she said indignantly.

There was no way she was letting Scorpius carry her, and even less of a chance that she wouldn't get lost in the snow drifts. Scorpius shrugged and maneuvered around her, his long legs efficiently handling the high snow. Even with the snow ahead of her already disturbed from its resting place, Lily lagged behind more often than keeping up. Scorpius was patient, every so often waiting for her to catch up. She could feel the heat of the exertion begin to get to her, trudging through snow a terribly large task she wasn't sure she was prepared for.

"Is this it?" Scorpius asked, stopping in his tracks.

Lily shuffled around him. The lake spread out before them, on all sides colorful people ventured on the ice, skating or fishing or just playing around. Lily smiled, unable to contain her contentment with the sight. It always, without fail, brought a smile to her face.

"Yes," Lily said. "Come on, let's go."

"Where?"

"On the ice."

"What? Are you kidding? Isn't that…dangerous?"

"Oh, come on. I've been on there millions of times."

"Alright, whatever."

Keeping back her amusement at Scorpius's reluctance, Lily ventured on the ice, the slippery surface, as always, bringing a surge of excitement through her slight frame. She could hear Scorpius slowly shuffling behind her, his inexperience making him seem like a coward. She heard his shuffle slow and she turned around, walking backward.

"What's the matter?" She asked.

"I…I think the ice is thin over there," he said, pointing to where Lily was headed. Without missing a step, Lily turned around and looked. It didn't seem thin to her.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

The ice beneath her cracked. It opened up and consumed her, the cold waters beginning to digest her. It stole her breath and stopped her heart. All around her, the cold enveloped her. She waved her arms, trying to reach the light above her. Her fingertips were numb. Her toes were numb. Her arms were numb. Her legs were numb. She couldn't see. She couldn't hear. She couldn't feel.

3

Lily couldn't move. All she could see were shadowy figures hovering over her, shoving liquids down her throat that burned her, giving her so much agony she could hardly contain it. She would mumble things she couldn't remember, but someone would find valuable and run off. She would do things she couldn't remember but someone would find it valuable and run off. She would remember things she couldn't remember remembering but someone would find it valuable and run off.

Every night, it seemed like she was somewhere else. First, in an underground chamber. Then, locked in hidden room in the wall somewhere. After that, writhing in agony on the marble floor of a mansion. Later, burning alive, from inside to the out, while men watched and laughed. Finally, the pain so excruciating in her legs she gave up and her chest constricted, asphyxiating her slowly, agonizingly, terribly. She would wake up from the dreams, tears streaming down her face, tell one of the figures hovering over her, and they would leave. She didn't know what she said, but she thought it was what had happened.

Eventually, the hovering figures took shape. They turned into her parents and her uncles and her aunts. Aunt Audrey was there the most often, pouring down her throat potent mixtures and potions, dabbing her face with cool clothes, changing her bedclothes. The woman was silent, calm, serene as always. Lily wished she could talk with her and remember the conversations. The few times they did talk, Audrey stepped out after, her eyes beginning to glisten with sadness. Lily didn't know what she had said to upset her.

Time passed, she started remembering conversations, having control over what she did and did not say, her dreams becoming less and less angry, less and less distraught, less and less potent, and more mundane. Every now and then, she would have one that threw her back into that pattern, but it was for only a short time, and they were of no use to anyone, of no interest to anyone.

She was allowed to get out of bed. She went down to the kitchens for breakfast, sat by the fires during the day, and went back to bed at night. When she had regained most of her usual fire, it was time to go back to Hogwarts, back to the cool comfort of Slytherin, back to the classes she was unable to pass.

Her stomach churned when she thought of that. She had forgone changing her wand over to the new wand box, too sick to do so, too preoccupied with Teddy or with Scorpius to remember. Scorpius would be disappointed. Last minute, she put her wand in his box, and slipped the box in her trunk. O.W.L.s were coming up, too. The professors would be hounding them about it. The thought of both of them tightened around her heart, paining her, making her cough uncontrollably.

This was not going to work well.


	13. Chapter 13

"Hey Lil," Keslie said, sliding next to her at the Slytherin table. "How was vacation? You look terrible."

"I can't remember half of it," she said, her voice hoarse. She lost it a scant two days before the return to Hogwarts; Al got her sick again with something he picked up from Diagon Alley.

"You sound almost as bad as you look."

"Thanks."

Lily picked up her cup of tea and started sipping it, wincing as the hot liquid swept past her aching throat. She hated being sick. Especially at Hogwarts, where half of Slytherin would soon come down with the illness.

"Hello," Alexander said, sitting across the table. "I see you're ill."

"Mmm."

"I heard you had quite an adventure," he continued, slathering marmalade on his toast. "And a wet one, at that."

"Who told you that?"

"I overheard some of the Gryffindors talking about how Slytherins tend to be more thick-headed than they are. You were brought up as an example."

"Great, that's just what I need."

"Don't worry about it," Kelsie said. "They'll forget it soon enough. We ought to start thinking about O.W.L.s, though."

"Don't remind me," Alex groaned. "I don't even want to think about them right now. Can't you just let us become used to Hogwarts again before dumping all that stuff on us?"

"Absolutely not. You should have been studying all vacation."

"You don't even need to study," Lily said, trying to push Kelsie from her mind.

She did not, at all, want to think about tests. Particularly tests that would determine your future. Her stomach churned just thinking about it. Her mind wandered to her wand, sitting in the box Scorpius had given her. She hadn't touched it since she got to Hogwarts, giving it some room. At least, that was the excuse she used.

Scorpius entered the great hall. He looked at Lily; everyone saw him look at Lily. He was visibly claiming his territory. Without a word, he walked over to her and sat down next to her. Just his presence sent a shiver up Lily's spine. The eyes of other Slytherins bored into them, their jealousy and awe evident in their gaping mouths and set jaw. The curious glances of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, trying to be furtive but being undeniably awkward followed them. The uninterested but indescribably enamored demeanor of the Gryffindors puzzled even the headmistress. And the Potter brothers, both of them furious, stood up, their faces red, and appeared to want to throttle the secretive Malfoy.

"Are you feeling any better?" Scorpius asked gently, picking up a roll.

"A bit," she said, feeling her heart pound against her ribs.

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

She shook her head and gave him a sheepish grin.

"Just let me know if there is, alright? I've got to go settle a dispute between some third and fourth years – something about the Chamber of Secrets." He put his hand lightly on her back and stood up, withdrawing his hand.

"Have fun with that," she said, her voice disappearing in something smaller than a whisper.

"I sure will. You might want to go to the infirmary and get something to help you with that." He rubbed his throat in emphasis before walking away.

Lily couldn't help but grin. Every time she was near Scorpius, every time he touched her, every time they talked, she felt like she was on top of the world. Nothing could bring her down.

"You've really fallen hard for him, haven't you?" Alex asked, casually stirring his tea.

"Shut up," Lily said sharply, his tones snapping her out of her reverie.

"Yes, I believe she has," Kelsie said.

3

Professor Ryder stood at the front of the classroom, her brown hair tightly pulled off her face. She looked serious, as if she was going to kill them.

"The time has come," she said, "when you must begin to prepare for a life in the wizarding world. And this life of your wizarding world is going to be determined by a single thing. A sole factor will determine your career, your life, your success, or your failure. And that factor is the O.W.L.s – Ordinary Wizarding Levels. From now until the end of the year, I will be preparing you for them, giving you last minute instruction and advice. I will stretch you, challenge you, and potentially make you cry. But remember it's for your own good. Now, begin on the assignment I have detailed for you on the board."

Lily glanced at the assignment, briefly rubbed her eyes, and still couldn't make out what it said. The little first years kept her up last night, squealing in delight over their Christmas presents. All she wanted to do was fall asleep.

"What're we supposed to be doing?" she asked Alex in a whisper, taking her wand out of her bag.

"Turning a frog into a cat."

"What?"

Ryder couldn't demand that of them. That was N.E.W.T. level stuff. How could they be expected to do such a thing?

"Relax, take your time, and do what you can. She won't fail you because you're incapable."

"No, she'll fail me because I don't have any magic."

"You have a wand, just suck it up and do it."

"You don't understand."

"Evidently not."

Lily picked up her wand, the narrow shaft sending warmth down her fingers and stared at the frog. Her wand could do this. Her wand could do this. Her wand could do this. She flicked, twirled, twisted, said the incantation, and tapped the little critter on the head.

"Ribbit."

She couldn't do this. How could they expect her to do this?

"Will you stop wallowing in self pity?" Alex snapped. "I can't focus with you over there all depressed."

"Oh, excuse me for only knowing my limitations."

"You haven't even tried your limitations!"

"Just shove it!"

"Zabini! Potter! Do I need to give you two a detention?" Ryder called over the class.

"No, professor," the pair of them recited, quickly bowing their heads to their frog.

How was she supposed to do this? Lily looked at her wand, ignoring Alex adjusting his seat next to her. The core was hippogriff. Hippogriff. Weren't they supposed to be strong or something? She breathed deeply, focusing on the wand. A hippogriff was a rather imposing creature. They'd be able to turn a frog into a cat, right? Sure, why not? There was no reason for her to doubt her…her wand…

She said the incantation.

"Ribbit."

She did it again.

"Ribbit."

She closed her eyes, focused on a cat, and waved her wand.

"Ribbit."

"What the bloody hell happened to your frog?" Alex asked, blatantly staring at Lily's frog.

Lily glanced down. The once smooth, green frog had begun to sprout fluffy grey fur.

"Ribbit."

"I have no idea," Lily said, gently poking it with her finger. The grey fur was soft, like Aspen's, like a cat's. "It's…getting fur! It's getting fur!" She jumped up from her chair and bounced up and down, unable to control her excitement. The Gryffindors and Slytherins looked at her, wondering why she was happy when she had a dilapidated frog in front of her, but no one bothered to quell her enthusiasm.

"Lily!" Alex said, pulling back into her chair. "Control yourself! You're a Slytherin, have some composure."

She sat back in her seat, her heart still throbbing against her ribcage.

"Now finish the job," Alex muttered.

For the rest of the period, she flicked her wand this way and that, focused, reiterated the incantation, but was unable to push the frog beyond being covered in fur. This quelled her enthusiasm. Both Kelsie and Alex were left with a cat, and only she and two Gryffindors had failed to fully transfigure their frog. Alex wouldn't let her live it down.


	14. Chapter 14

Lily hadn't slept well since she returned to Hogwarts. She wrote it off as many things – stuffy nose, sore throat, general physical discomfort. With only a few hours of decent sleep, it was a wonder she was still functioning. She wasn't even particularly sure why, beyond the physical reasons, she wasn't sleeping well. Usually, the luscious Slytherin beds did good by her. Only recently had they begun to go against her. In fact, her lack of sleep had begun to catch up to her, causing her to have incredibly bad headaches halfway through the day, making it difficult for her to focus in class, causing her to fall asleep while trying to study. And Scorpius standing there, looking at her all disappointed, his arms crossed and his glasses dangling from his mouth, did not help as much as he thought it would.

"Come on, Lily, really; I heard what you did in transfiguration, you should at least be able to do this. It's a simple charm," Scorpius said, pacing back and forth.

Lily folded her arms and put her head on top. She didn't want to do this right now. She didn't have the energy. She didn't have the attention span. Scorpius didn't notice.

"It isn't a matter of your ability at this point. You've evidently come to at least some kind of understanding with your wand, which I think is still bogus. I'm going to be discussing this with Piper when I have the chance, though. I've been thinking a lot about it, and I think there needs to be two tiers of wands. But that isn't why we're here, is it? It's about you applying your magic. About you studying. I don't get it. Before break, you were a whole lot more attentive than you are now. What happened?" Scorpius stopped pacing; Lily could hear him. "You aren't even awake now. What? Have you lost all respect for me as your tutor?"

"No, that's not it," she murmured, pulling herself upright and rubbing her face.

"Then what is it?" He slid his glasses back on his face and sat down opposite her.

"I can't focus well. My head feels like someone's cleaving it in two and my attention span is down the loo. I haven't been sleeping well and just want to go to bed."

"Alright, then go to bed," he said, standing up. "You're of no use to anyone when you're exhausted like this. Come on."

"Are you sure?"

"Come on."

He offered her his hand. Silently, she took it, accepting any assistance. He pulled her up a little too quickly and her head spun. She grabbed his arm to steady herself.

"Maybe you should go to the infirmary," he said.

"No…no I'm fine," she said rubbing her eyes. "Once I get a good night's rest, I'll be fine."

"Alright."

He walked her back to the dorm, walked her to the door of her room, and saw her inside. Lily didn't remember any of it. All she was thinking about was bed. And not just bed, but sleep, and a restful one at that. She didn't bother changing or putting her wand away like she should have. Instead, she sprawled on her bed and fell quickly into the waiting hands of slumber.

3

It was cold. Wind whipped through Lily's hair, pierced her face, gripped her body. The creeping fingers of deep winter stripped her of her heat, leaving her shivering. Her legs ached from trekking through snow, from trying to make headway to the mountain before her. Her feet were frozen, like they were encased in ice. They were encased in ice. She could see the little town on the mountain, the fires rising into the sky heartening. If she could make it there…if she could reach the heat, the fires, the light…then everything would be fine…she would survive. All she had to do was keep going. Keep walking. One foot in front of the other. Vicky…Vicky would be waiting for her. Flora was counting on her. She had to do it for them, if for no one else. Jim and Al would be excited to see her again, clap her on the back and welcome him home. Harry…Harry would be heartbroken if she didn't return to the Burrow. That was it. She had to get back to England. There was no other option. No other way.

Sweat dripped down her face, the biting wind turning it into ice. She tried to wipe it away, but it clung to her skin like tar. It was getting warmer, though, bearable despite all of the wintry elements. She was tired, though, exhausted even. All she wanted to do was curl up in the snow and sleep a long sleep, maybe for ten or twelve hours. Resisting, she pressed on. Vicky was waiting. Flora was waiting. Harry was waiting.

Every step was more difficult. The snow looked so soft, so inviting, so welcoming. How could she refuse? No…Vicky. The snow looked so warm, so fluffy, so comforting. How could she refuse? No…Flora. Her legs ached more, her face became encrusted with ice, snow caught in her hair. All she needed was reprieve. No…Harry.

Her legs gave out beneath her, sending her into the deep snow. It was so warm…so soft…so comfortable…

3

Lily shivered under her blankets. Her teeth chattered. Her eyes were heavy. Her head throbbed. Her throat constricted. Teddy…Teddy wasn't in England. She sat up, the motion making her head spin. Slowly, she slipped her legs off the side of her bed, planting them on the cold floor. Her entire body was wracked with trembling. She wrapped the green blanket around her shoulders, but received no reprieve. Teddy…Teddy wasn't in England. She wrapped her tie around her neck, fastened the buttons to her shirt, and shrouded her form in her robes. Her step was slow, shuffling, unsteady. She leaned against the wall for support before leaving. Teddy...Teddy wasn't in England. Her stomach churned, as if it was going to revolt, but steadied. Her head spun perpetually, as if she was on one of those muggle amusement rides. She kept one hand always on the wall, guiding her, offering her balance and stability. Teddy wasn't in England.

The common room was full of people; it was after breakfast, before most classes, so it was to be expected. Lily leaned against the wall for a few moments, taking it all in. What did she need to do? Teddy wasn't in England. What was she supposed to do? Teddy wasn't in England. Who was she supposed to tell?

"Teddy isn't in England," she whispered.

No one heeded her. They all went about their daily business.

"Teddy isn't in England," she said.

No one paid any attention; they were all cramming for their tests first block.

"Teddy isn't in England," she said with more fervor.

A few people glanced at her, wondering why the fifth-year prefect was acting like an idiot.

"Teddy isn't in England!" She shouted.

The entire common room fell silent; all pens stopped scribbling, all parchment stopped rustling, and all students stopped murmuring. Everyone turned to look at her.

"He isn't in England!"

"Lily," Kelsie said, quickly coming up to her. "Are you alright? You look a little…you're burning up. Come on, you need to go to the infirmary."

"He isn't in England, Kelsie," Lily said.

"I know. It's ok. Come on." Kelsie wrapped her arm around Lily and helped her walk a bit.

Lily found it difficult to walk, and after a few steps her legs gave way underneath her. She sat on the floor, her breathing hard, her eyes closed.

"He isn't in England. He isn't in England!"

She could feel tears begin to prick her eyes, but she didn't care. No one would find him where he was. No one knew where he was. He was lost. Forever. No one would find him. No one. Not Vicky. Not Flora. Not her dad. No one.

"Hey, Lily," Scorpius said, squatting down next to her. "Come on, stand up. We need to go to the infirmary."

"But…Teddy…"

"I know, we know, we'll take of it once we're there. We can't do anything here."

"No one can do anything!"

"Lily, come on."

He lifted her up and put her on her feet. She reached out and grabbed him to remain standing.

"Is she light enough for you to carry?" Kelsie asked. "That might be better, quicker, you know?"

"Yeah. Lily, hold on, will you?"

Scorpius picked her up in his arms with ease. She put her head against his chest and closed her eyes.

"He's not in England."

"I know."

He started walking quickly, careful not to hit Lily against anything. The only thing Lily was aware of was his clean shirt which smelled like cinnamon. And that Teddy was not in England. She kept babbling about it, about how no one would find him, about how she needed to tell her father, about how the ministry's current efforts were useless. Scorpius and Kelsie kept muttering reassurances, telling her to relax, calm down, sleep if she could.

Scorpius placed her on one of the beds in the infirmary and Madame Pomfrey immediately gave her something to make her sleep, her current state not permitting anything but nonsensical babble. Within seconds, she was out.

3

The swan sang her song, her last song, in front of the eagle, lifeless on the ground. The tones carried throughout the forest, but no one came. They were alone. Just the two of them. The swan nudged the eagle through her song, urging him to awaken, trying to get him to move. There was no response. Her song increased in vigor, swelled with lamentation, climaxed with emotion.

The stag came out of the darkness of the forest, his head bowed low. With his hoof, he dug a grave. He nudged the eagle into its resting place. The swan continued her lament. The end of her life. The end of their life. For a time, the stag stayed, his presence comforting the dieing swan. Her voice ran thin, her song faltering. The stag left, leaving the swan to finish her lament.

For awhile, the swan was alone, her body wasting away, her feathers molting, her eyes deadening. Her song ended. She laid down over the recently dug earth, her head over the eagle's breast, her wings spread over his grave, her eyes delivering tears to his grave.

A cougar sauntered to the swan, a little wolf cub running around his feet. The cub went up to the swan, licking its feathers, coaxing it out of its depression. The swan looked at the cub, saddened at first, but then with joy. It began to regain some of its regality, its feathers returned, her body resumed its natural shape, but its eyes were still dark, still remembering the grave.

They moved away from the grave and played a bit. The cougar went with them, at first just watching, and then joining in. He licked the cub and the swan, led them through the tricky parts of the forest, protected them against the evils of the darkness. The sadness of the swan lost intensity, but never left entirely.


	15. Chapter 15

"Teddy…I need to tell my father," Lily muttered, looking up at however it was standing over her; she couldn't make them out.

"Where is he, Lil?"

Someone grabbed her left arm. She looked over there, barely able to make out a mess of black hair. It was either her father or Al, but the grip on her arm was too tight to be Al.

"Not in England. Snow. Lots of snow. Mountains. Little village at the foot of the mountain. Northeast. He collapsed in the snow, dad. He collapsed in the snow."

"How high is the snow?"

"At least three feet. Maybe more. You need to find him."

"I know, I know. Is that all?"

"Don't tell Vicky yet. Not until you find him. It's going to crush her."

"I can't keep this from her. Flora's his daughter."

"It's going to ruin her."

"She's an adult. She can take care of herself."

"She still loves Teddy."

Her father's grip loosened on her arm. Gently, he dabbed her face with a wet cloth.

"Don't worry about that," he said. "Right now, you need to worry about getting better."

"Please don't tell her," Lily muttered, trying not to fall asleep with the cool cloth easing some of her discomfort.

"I need to leave, Lil. Promise me you won't worry about Vicky."

"…Ok."

He kissed her lightly on the forehead and walked away, his blurry figure no longer visible.

"Drink this, dear," Madame Pomfrey said, bringing a cup of steaming liquid to Lily's lips. Lily quickly drank it, the sour taste making her mouth pucker. Within ten seconds, she was asleep again.

3

"How long has it been?" Lily muttered, rubbing her eyes. Why was everything so fuzzy?

"A few days," Kelsie replied, not bothering to look up from her book. "Ryder has been hounding us to get in O.W.L. shape. It's like she expects everyone to get outstandings or something."

"Most of us probably will," Alex muttered. "The only ones really in danger of not are the Hufflepuffs and you, Lily."

"Thanks, I appreciate the support."

"Look, some people just are more magically inclined than others."

"I really don't want to talk about this right now." Her head was pounding and her vision kept slipping in and out of focus, which didn't help the matter any. She closed her eyes to give them a reprieve.

"Slytherin is on its way to win the house cup," Kelsie offered.

"They won't beat Ravenclaw. Al is going to have a tough time with Dante, but he'll pull it off. Besides, Hugo is a stronger keeper than Nick."

"Unless you can get your marks up and join the team again. Then an accident could happen to Nick during practice, and you'd be in."

"I don't want to play quidditch."

"What? Why not?"

"I just…I don't. There's nothing more to it." That was a lie. She knew with the way she was feeling, and the state of her vision, she would not be able to pull off the position. A rock would be better than she.

"Come on, Lil," Alex said. "You threw a fit when you found out you couldn't play."

"Well, prefect duties and the O.W.L.s are taking more out of me than I thought they would, ok?" She was defensive, her aggressive tone betraying her discomfort.

"Alright, let's change the subject, shall we?" Kelsie asked, turning the page on the book. "What's the time? Shit! We're late for charms. Hurry up, Alex."

The two of them flew from the room without so much as brief good byes.

"I thought they'd never leave," Scorpius said, coming from the back room.

"What're you even doing here?"

"Aide; it's an elective. So how're you feeling?" He took a seat next to her bed.

"Better, I suppose," she said.

"Better enough to come with me to Hogsmeade this weekend?" He looked at her expectantly, his lips pursed together in anticipation.

"I…yes." Lily smiled, her heart pounding against her ribs, her stomach churning in anticipation. It felt as if a balloon had swelled in her chest and nothing could pop it.

"I'm glad you haven't changed your mind. I was worried your brothers…"

"Don't mind my brothers. They still think of me as a three year old."

"You must have been an adorable three year old," he said.

"I guess so. I never really thought of it."

He was silent for a minute, his clear grey eyes staring at her.

"Did you mean what you said?" he said.

"About what?"

"About…about my sons being the death of you?"

"I…I never said that."

"Yes you did; on the way here, you said it to me."

"No…no I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"I don't remember it."

"Never mind, then," he sighed, leaning back in his chair. "It's…not important."

"Obviously it is if you were thinking about it for four days."

"I just…don't want to see you hurt."

Lily's heart skipped a beat. The sincerity in his tone struck her like a bludger. He really cared about her.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No," she said, a grin taking over her countenance. "Nothing at all."

3

"I can't believe you're doing this to me, Lily!" Albus shouted in the hallway, showing no shame.

"What are you talking about?" She put a hand to her temple and closed her eyes. These bloody headaches she'd been getting still tortured her.

"Malfoy! You're going to Hogsmeade with Malfoy!"

"It's none of your business." She kept her tone down, unangered. All she wanted to do was get back to her common room. She started walking. Al followed.

"It is my business! You're my baby sister! It's my responsibility to make sure you aren't doing anything stupid, and you are!"

"I'll let you know how that goes, then," Lily said.

"Don't walk away from me!"

"What do you want me to say, Albus?" She spun around, her Weasley temper flaring to match his. "Do you want me to say I won't go out with Scorpius? Well, I'm not giving you that satisfaction! I have a bloody headache so bad I can't see straight. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to go back my common room to study for the O.W.L.s Yes, that's right, I need to study! In fact, I need to meet Scorpius in ten minutes so he can tutor me. Yes, that's right, he's my bloody tutor! Why? Because I can't do any damned magic."

Al just stared at her, speechless.

"Stop trying to interfere with my life. Do you understand?"

"I…"

"Just leave me alone!"

She stormed forward, silently seething. How dare he try to take from her a source of pleasure? Just because he was an anti-social bookworm did not make everyone else one.

"You're late," Scorpius said, a hint of pleasure in his tone.

"It's Al's fault." She dropped her bag on the floor and threw herself into the chair. "What do we get to explore today?"

"First, you need to calm down if you're going to do anything."

"Maybe I don't want to do anything."

"Lily…"

"I know! Alright? Merlin!"

"What happened?"

"Nothing. It doesn't matter."

"Alright, let's get started then."


	16. Chapter 16

"Lily, you've stared at yourself enough," Kelsie said. "You look fine. Now get out of the bathroom; I want to use yours. The third-years are crowding ours."

"Are you sure I look alright?"

"I'm positive. You've been there for almost half an hour doing nothing. Now come on, I really need to pee."

Lily left the bathroom and lingered in her bedroom, wondering how long Kelsie would take; she wanted to brush her teeth. Again. Just in case she missed a spot. It wouldn't look good for her to show up with a speck of leftovers on her teeth.

"Let's go, we're going to be late," Kelsie said.

"I need to do something."

"No you don't, come on; I heard he was ready an hour ago."

"I'm not ready!"

"Just come on."

Kelsie grabbed her arm and dragged her down the hallway to the Great Hall. She went left, to where Alex and two other students were waiting. Lily went right, to where Scorpius was lingering by the door.

"Hello," he said, opening the door for her. "I like your jeans."

"Thanks."

She hadn't wanted to wear them, but Kelsie convinced her they flaunted her figure the best. Lily knew her parents didn't approve of them; they said they left too little to the imagination. But Kelsie, Vicky, and Molly all disagreed. She supposed the majority was right, after all.

"So what do you want to do today?" Scorpius asked, walking down the path to Hogsmeade. Lily nudged against him, hoping to find reprieve from the cold.

"Something inside, I suppose."

"Yeah…we wouldn't want you getting sick again."

Lily glanced up at him, wondering if he was being sarcastic. She stumbled on a rock, so she returned her gaze to the road.

"Have you ever been to the shrieking shack?" he asked.

"Of course. I went there with Alex and Kelsie nearly every Hogsmeade trip for two years."

"That's not what I meant. Have you ever been in the shrieking shack?"

"I've been told that excursion is kept for seventh-year students. And yes. Jim, Fred, and Rose broke in once, and I was along for the ride."

"My, you're quite the daredevil."

"Do you like that?"

Scorpius shrugged.

"So where are we going?"

"You want to go to the Three Broomsticks?"

"And risk seeing my family?"

"Hog's Head?"

"Hugo goes there with some Ravenclaws."

"Puddifoots?"

"Is that really what you want to do on your Hogsmeade visit? They don't even have decent coffee."

"I suppose everyone in there is too busy snogging to notice."

"Wait…do you want to snog? Is that why you asked?"

Lily stopped walking and looked at him. Not even Darren had been that forthright. He had at least waited until their second Hogsmeade visit, after they had snuck off to the dungeons a few times, before he took her to Puddifoots.

"No, not at all. Well, I wouldn't mind it. But that's not what my goal was, if that's what you're wondering. There just…aren't that many places two people can go to talk in Hogsmeade. Especially in the winter when it's cold."

"How about Harley's?"

"Harley's?"

"It's a muggle establishment at the edge of Hogsmeade. My cousin Dom discovered it in his fifth year. There may be a few Gryffindors straggling around there, but other than that, it should be quiet. They have killer coffee and really know how to make a steak."

"Do they take our currency?"

"Yeah; I think the owner might be a squib, and that's why he's so close to Hogsmeade. I really don't know."

"I…I don't know. Can't we…can't we just go The Three Broomsticks?"

"We don't have to go. It was just a suggestion. If it makes you that uncomfortable…"

"Alright," he said, visibly relieved.

He wrapped his arm again around Lily and directed her down the main road and into the crowded Three Broomsticks. Hannah gave her a free butterbeer, and Lily and Scorpius sat in close proximity behind a group of third-year Hufflepuff girls giggle about some boy.

"So what's your favorite color?" Scorpius asked casually and sipped his butterbeer.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Why shouldn't I know? I…" The rest of what he said was drowned out by Hufflepuff girls.

"What was that?"

"I just want to know," he said, casting a faintly disapproving glance in the direction of the girls.

"You want the honest answer or the one I tell people?"

"Why do you have two?" He put his mug on the table, a slightly amused grin on his face.

"One is my honest opinion, the second is to enhance my image."

"I want both of them."

"Fine, but I want yours after."

"Done."

"The color I tell people I like is green; creates the image of the dutiful Slytherin girl I am."

Scorpius snorted in his butterbeer.

"What? You don't think I'm a loyal Slytherin?"

"It's hard to think you're as hardcore as you sound when your father is Harry Potter, notorious muggle sympathizer."

"So what are you saying? That I'm a bad Slytherin because of my father?"

"Because of your upbringing."

"So what? I should just hate muggles because I'm a Slytherin? Isn't that a bit harsh?"

Lily could feel her anger begin to flare. She hadn't had this discussion with another Slytherin before. She took it for granted that the pureblood mania her father kept discrediting was in actuality nonexistent anymore. And to be having it with Scorpius…this was the kind of stuff that ruined relationships.

"No, that's not what I'm saying. I just think most people put them on platforms they don't belong on. I mean, what is this rubbish about creating laws to protect them from themselves? What nonsense is this? We, as witches and wizards, ought not to interfere with them. At all. We should leave them to their business."

"So you're a removalist?"

"You aren't?"

"Muggles are people, too, you know. If we can help them with our magic, then why not? There ought to be more integration with the cultures. Don't you hate walking on eggshells every time you walk thought Muggle London?"

"The easy solution to that m'dear, is to avoid walking through Muggle London." He sipped his butterbeer with an air of superiority.

"Absolutely not! The muggles have so much culture we don't have! The architecture, the paintings, the writing, everything! Right now, Muggle England is in isolation from Wizard England. It's ridiculous! The culture needs to be adopted by wizards, so that the England Wizarding community can become stronger and have a better sense of who they, as English, are!"

"That is the most disgusting thing I've heard all day. To pervert the Wizarding world like that…"

"Pervert? Are you insane? Enrich!"

"No. What we have going is good enough. It'll get better as time goes on."

"Time has gone on! We're still listening to the Weird Sisters, the last great wizarding band. The Muggles have so much more music, art, literature, everything. We need it to keep us creative. We're slowly loosing that creativity."

"I will never listen to muggle music."

Lily just stared at him, stunned. How could he be so thick-headed? There were endless advantages of introducing Muggle culture into the Wizarding one. So many that Lily could not even imagine all of them or begin to conceive them.

"Why don't we stop talking about this?" Scorpius asked, forcing himself to smile. "Neither of us will be left satisfied and we'll only anger each other. Pumpkin pasty?"

"I'm not hungry." She couldn't believe he was a removalist. Why would anyone want that? It was unrealistic.

"Why are you angry with me? Because I have my own ideas? If we start to integrate the two cultures, then that will leave the Wizarding culture void of anything of its own!"

"No it won't! Not even a little bit! If we integrate the two cultures, and teach wizards about music and writing and all that stuff, then it'll encourage them to engage in them!"

"But there won't be any room for Wizarding creativity because it'll be drowned out by the Muggle shit!"

"Have you ever even been to a muggle museum? A gallery? Listened to their music? Seen their movies?"

"What the bloody hell is a movie?"

"Exactly my point! If you opened your eyes, you'd be able to see the mediums that aren't available to wizards simply because the wizards don't know about them!"

"And we don't know about them because they aren't good enough for us!"

Scorpius leaned in towards Lily and whispered harshly, "There's a reason our cultures aren't mixed."

"They aren't mixed," Lily replied in the same fashion, "because of know-nothing purebloods who think they're better than everyone else."

"They aren't mixed because muggle sympathizers would take it to the next level, an unhealthy level, and their magic would suffer."

"With the increasing amount of muggle-borns with magical power, how can we deny their upbringing?"

"How can we not? They're in a new world. It's better not the blur line the between magic and muggle because when we do, we'll have more cases of muggles sighting magic, and less discretion when it comes to stuff like that. No, it has to keep separate."

"That's ridiculous!"

Scorpius wrapped his arm around her and brushed her lips with his, eating her argument, consuming her anger.

"What the bloody hell was that?" Lily asked, trying to keep her breathing steady and regain the fury she had had. It wasn't working; her cheeks were flushed with excitement, her heart fluttered in her chest in anxiousness, her stomach churned with anticipation. He shouldn't have done that. But it felt so good…like for a moment, she was complete.

"You're adorable when you're angry."

He did it again, the euphoria rising within Lily almost unbearable. It was quick, light, nothing terribly involved, and it left her aching for more. She stared at him, wondering if he felt the same way. Scorpius just grinned at her, his dimples making her voice catch in her throat.

"I suppose we should go back, now. It seems our…disagreement emptied out this establishment," Scorpius said, adjusting his glasses.

Lily looked around, for the first time noticing the scarcity of inhabitants. The Hufflepuff girls had vacated, as had the gaggle of Gryffindors in the corner. The only ones left were a group of Slytherins discussing something in low tones and a group of Ravenclaws debating removalism. The sun, too, was hanging low in the sky; if they weren't to be back already, they would be expected back soon.

"I'm guessing we should go," Lily said, reaching into her pocket for a few sickles.

"I've got it," Scorpius said, dropping a couple galleons on the table.

He helped her up from her chair and wrapped his arm around her again.

"You're probably going to catch some flack from Al for that," Lily said, nestling against his large body.

"Maybe," he muttered. "But I think I can handle myself."


	17. Chapter 17

"Lily, I can't even read your writing," Kelsie said, throwing the roll of parchment at Lily. "What's going on with you? You've been out of it for awhile, now."

"I don't know." Lily rubbed her eyes and squinted at the book in front of her.

It was like someone had made the print infinitely smaller. She wouldn't have been surprised if she found out Al was just playing a cruel trick on her. In fact, he hadn't said anything more about the whole Scorpius thing. Surely, he would have heard about it by now. He was probably just being passive aggressive, like the Ravenclaw he is.

"Where are you going?" Kelsie asked. "We aren't done yet!"

"I need to go see Al."

Lily flung her book bag over her shoulder and left the library; Al wasn't in there or she would have seen him. It was noon on a Saturday. More likely than not, he was in the Great Hall, having lunch before the quidditch game. She went there, her head beginning to cleave open with the familiar anguish.

Sure enough, she could make out his mop of black hair at the Ravenclaw table, eating a bowl of soup or something of the sort; Lily couldn't really make it out clearly. Hugo, his red hair unmistakable, sat across from him.

Lily sat down next to Al and let her Potions book fall open.

"Hello, Lily," he said casually.

"Explain this," she said tersely, putting her finger on what she thought was the text of her potions book.

"The war between the humans and goblins?" Al asked. "You won't need to know it for the O.W.L.s. Believe it or not, it's considered N.E.W.T. I know; I was shocked when I found out, too."

"No…that's not it. This isn't my potions book?" She closed it and squinted at the cover. She could barely make out the picture of a wizard holding up his wand.

"Nope."

"Well, then why is the print so small?" she demanded.

"What are you talking about?" Al asked, his halting tone revealing his urge to laugh at her.

"You messed up the print in my books so I can't read them."

"No, why would I do that?"

"Because you don't like Scorpius."

"Look, if I wanted to sabotage you and Scorpius, believe me, I could."

"Then why can't I read my books!"

Al looked at her for a moment. Lily couldn't tell what he was thinking; her head hurt too much for her see clearly.

"You might need glasses," he said finally.

"What? No. That's not it. You messed with my books."

"Hugo, are these books messed with?" Al passed her History of Magic text across the table.

"No; the print is cramped, but all History of Magic books are. I would agree with Al on this one, Lil."

"Shit."

"Oh, come on," Al said. "It isn't that bad. I'll take you the infirmary right now."

"I don't want to."

"Stop being a baby. Come on."

Al had to, more or less, drag Lily to the infirmary and bribe her to sit still and then try to console her, without laughing, when the only frames the school had did not suit her at all.

3

"Please, Lil," Scorpius teased, cleaning up the mess they made in their practice room. "Why won't you let me see them?"

"They're disgusting, unwieldy, and ugly."

"They can't be that bad."

"They're too big for me and don't suit me at all." She slid her wand into its box and the box into her bag. "I only wear them when I have to; alone in my room when I'm studying."

"Well, I think you've done enough studying for today," Scorpius said, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "Besides, I highly doubt they look half as bad as you make them out to."

"No, they do."

Scorpius leaned down to kiss Lily. Lily immediately bent to his will, her body stretching as tall as it could, her mouth yearning for his.

"Is this what these studying sessions have come down to?" Wolfe demanded from the door.

The two of them stepped away from each other quickly.

"I come here to congratulate you two on your success, and I find you on the verge of…of…of snogging! Twenty points from Slytherin!"

"But professor," Scorpius began, his face paler than usual.

"I want none of it, Malfoy! Don't push me. You're obligation to tutor Miss Potter is suspended and if I ever see you two that close again, I'm taking more points. I don't care if it's my house. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Professor," the two of them said, downtrodden.

"Now go to dinner. Go!"

"Yes, Professor."

3

When Lily looked up from her chicken, the entire Slytherin quidditch team surrounded her. Except, of course, for Nick.

"We need you to join the team now," Bryan said, throwing a jersey at her. "Put on your glasses, and go the equipment shed so we can get you geared up. We have practice in an hour, so we need to get this done soon."

"I'm not playing," Lily said, flinging the jersey back.

"We need you." Bryan flung it back.

"I'm not playing."

"You're the only one who can go up against Hugo."

"I'm not playing."

"Nick injured himself and we don't have a reserve player and you're available to play."

"No."

"Scorpius, get your girl to play quidditch."

"If she doesn't want to play, then she doesn't want to play," Scorpius said.

"We need a keeper. You want to play. I saw it in the sparkle of your eye when I gave you the jersey."

"I…I don't want to play."

"We have the perfect team. Dante can take Al easy. Our chasers are flat out better than Ash and her crew. The Ravenclaw beaters are a joke. Rab and Ace can take them easy. We're only missing one thing – you. The keeper. The rock of our team. You can't not play."

"You'll win with whoever is in there."

"We don't want to win. We want to crush them."

Lily looked at Bryan, his jaw was set, his eyes narrowed. He wasn't going to give up.

"And if I don't? What are you going to do to me?"

Bryan smirked. That was answer enough.

"And if I do? What are you going to do for me? It better be worth my while."

Bryan looked around, stunned, like he wasn't expecting this.

"I…"

"We'll give you a case of sugar quills," Aeolus said suddenly.

"You know…I've really lost my taste for sugar quills ever since I nearly ate a regular one. Not my cup of tea."

"A box of Bertie Bot's."

"If I'm playing quidditch, I'm not going to want to eat loads of candy."

The team exchanged glances.

"What….what about cat food?" Dante asked, his voice trembling slightly. Evidently he had never been in Slytherin negotiations before.

"What? Why would she want cat food?" Bryan demanded, smacking his seeker upside the head.

"She has a cat, doesn't she?" Rab asked. "Might be a good investment. We buy her cat food, she doesn't have to buy it."

"How much?" Lily asked.

"How much you need?"

"Two cases."

"That's a lot of cat food."

"I have a fat cat."

The team bowed their heads together, silently discussing.

"Alright, we'll do it. Two cases of cat food. Consider it done," Bryan said.

"When'll I have it by?"

"Two weeks max," Dante said.

"I don't know…two weeks…that's a week into March…"

"We'll throw in an extra case," Dante said. Bryan glared at him.

"Deal," Lily said before anyone could object. Bryan smacked his seeker again and the whole lot of them walked off, muttering about how they were going to scrounge up that much cash.

"Well, I'm impressed," Scorpius said. "They came over here intending to strong arm you into playing, and you ended up with three cases of cat food!"

"When you have two older brothers, you need to posses bargaining skills to get what you want."

"My, you are quite the Slytherin, Potter."


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I don't own it

"I hear you're back on the quidditch team," Kelsie said, passing Lily a book on potions.

"Yeah."

"How's it going?"

"Well, I'm not in quidditch form at all, if that's what you're wondering, and the first game I'm slotted to play is against Hufflepuff this weekend. It should be alright; their chasers are low grade."

"Those glasses look terrible on you," Kelsie said and sat down at the abandoned desk in the library.

"I know."

Lily cracked open a book and started reading about the properties of Unicorn Blood.

"We're having a mock O.W.L. test the fifteenth of March," Kelsie said.

"Why?" If there was one thing Lily did not want to do, it was take the O.W.L.s twice.

"To help us know what we need to study."

"I already know what I need to study; everything."

"Are they letting you take a divination O.W.L.?"

"Oh, I don't know. I'll have to ask Wolfe, I suppose."

"I don't know if he'll let you."

"I just need to worry about potions right now. My last essay didn't go over well."

"It wouldn't, would it? It wasn't even legible."

"At least I did it."

"Whatever, Lil."

"Just leave me alone for a while, will you?"

"Absolutely not."

"Ugh."

Lily bowed her head to her book, ignoring Kelsie as best she knew how. The one complaint she had about her friend was the way once she started talking, she couldn't stop. It was like Flora with a bottle of bubbles; no matter where the girl is, if she has bubbles, she will blow them.

3

The only thing Lily saw was a swarm of black and green robes pile on top of her. The only thing she felt was the adrenaline still coursing through her body from the game and the excruciating pain of being pinned to the ground under ten or twelve students twice her size. It didn't bother her; she knew she deserved it. Slytherin had completely shut down the Hufflepuff team, offering them no points, winning three hundred to zero. It was the best game any house had played all year. Even Hugo had not managed the feat.

"That was amazing!" Dante Cole shouted, jumping up and down like a bouncy ball. "Nothing! No score! Nothing!"

"Hey, you're just lucky you caught the snitch in time," Lily said. "I was getting tired."

"What?" Bryan demanded, pulling Lily off the ground. "The great Lily Luna Potter? Tired? No way in the world do I believe that!"

"Ladies and gentlement, I have an announcement to make!" Aeolus said, standing on one of the Slytherin "The Slytherin quidditch team has their keeper back!"

There was a universal cheer and Lily was piled on top of again.

"Get off me!" she shouted, trying not to laugh.

She knew most of them were first and second years; Bryan already announced he didn't want her squashed by anyone larger than she after the team had their go at her. Even so, when six of seven bodies were pinning you down, it didn't seem to make a difference what size they were. And she was tired, which didn't really make it any more bearable. All she wanted was her bed. From what she had seen of the common room – with the Slytherin banners in all their glory and the pastries that were brought up from the kitchens – it did not seem she would get the chance any time soon for the beloved bed.

Everyone extrapolated themselves from the pile of bodies and Lily stared at the ceiling, unable or unwilling to move – she hadn't decided which yet. Scorpius stood over her, a grin on his face, his dimples making her want to die. He offered her his hand and she took it. In one easy movement, he had her on her feet.

"How're you feeling?" he asked, draping his arm over her shoulders.

"Pained; I am really not in quidditch form at all. Today was a fluke."

"I'm sure it was."

Scorpius sat her down on one of the couches and settled next to her.

"Do you want anything? A drink? Something to eat?" he asked.

"Something to drink would be nice," she said, relishing for a moment in allowing her body to conform to the shape of the couch. She watched Scorpius walk away, admiring the shape of his fine behind in his pants until he was out of her view. There were some things, no matter how tired she was, a girl just couldn't ignore.

"So that was a fun game," Kelsie said brightly, hopping next to Lily on the couch.

"Indeed," Lily groaned. She did not want to talk. The couch was lulling her to sleep faster than her bed could. She felt Kelsie shift next to her and a heavier body settle against the leather.

"Here," Scorpius said, giving her a butterbeer.

"Thanks," she said, bringing the foaming beverage to her lips. She practically inhaled it, relishing in the way it warmed her body, delivering her to the point where she could fall asleep at the drop of a hat. She rested her head against Scorpius, his strong body enough of a pillow and a blanket for her. Like this, her body aching, her mind wandering, her eyes heavy, and her entire being hungry for slumber, she fell into its trap.

3

Scorpius still had his arm around her, his head gently resting on hers. Her cheek was stuck to his shirt. Lily looked around, wondering why she wasn't in her bed. Oh, yes, she had fallen asleep against Scorpius. She could hear him faintly snoring, still asleep. There was no way she could move without waking him. Oh well, then. She would just have to stay there until he woke up. In fact, the clock above the fireplace said it was still the wee hours of the morning; no sense in waking him up, then.

"Are you awake, Lil?" he yawned, shifting his body to a more upright position.

"Barely," she replied, stifling her own yawn.

"Alright," he muttered, slumping back against the couch. Lily tucked her legs underneath her and rested her head on his lap, finding that more comfortable than contorting her body to his shoulder. She felt his arm come to rest around her.

There was no way she was getting back to sleep. She knew it. She had always been the kind of person when once she was up, she was up, and there was nothing anyone could do about it until she was tired again. It had driven her parents up the wall when she was younger, and her roommates nearly killed her in her first year, but everyone eventually gets used to it. Al and Jim accuse her of being a "morning person" – whatever that's supposed to mean – but she wasn't so sure it was true. Yeah, she got up early often, but she didn't do it on purpose. It was more of like a compulsion. If she had it her way, she would sleep until noon. Rarely did her internal clock allow that, and when it did, she relished in it.

"Are you still awake?" Scorpius asked, his voice a low rumble in his chest.

"Yes." Lily rolled onto her back so she could see him better. However, it was dark and her glasses were somewhere in her bag, so she couldn't see clearly. She could tell his head was resting against the couch and…that was it. She hated not being able to see.

"You still haven't told me what your personal favorite color is."

"I don't know if I want to tell you."

"I need to know. What if I want to buy you something?"

"I would advise you not to."

"Why not?"

"I…it would make me feel uncomfortable."

In her family, despite the fact that her mother was a record-breaking quidditch player and her father a high ranking auror for the ministry, they still spent their money frugally, like her mother learned do to as a kid. They didn't live extravagantly and Lily inherited that mindset of resourcefulness and frugality from the Weasley in her. Buying things for no reason went against her nature; it was irresponsible and reckless, wasteful and unnecessary.

"How else can I show my affection, then?" Lily could hear the confusion in his voice.

"I'm not a shallow person; you don't have to win me with things."

"So does that make me shallow because I want to see you happy?" He looked down at her. Lily wished she could make out his expression.

"No…I…it's just…I don't like…I don't know. I'm not one for spending money for no reason."

"You don't think you're a good enough reason?"

"No…I just…I don't know…I'm not used to it, I guess." She shifted uncomfortably. Her legs were beginning to get cramped.

"Well, Lily, you're dating a Malfoy now," he said softly, affectionately stroking her hair. "And we tend to show our affection through things."

"I don't suppose I can get you to change your mind?" Lily asked.

"Absolutely not, m'dear."

Lily groaned, despite a feeling of gratitude bubbling inside of her. Scorpius just chuckled.

"Potter! Malfoy!"

Lily practically jumped to a sitting position. Scorpius slid down the other end of the couch. Professor Wolfe strode into the common room, his hair askew and his robe crooked, like he had just gotten out of bed.

"Of all the students in all the houses to do this, you two would be the last on my list! Twenty points from Slytherin! Now go to bed! Your own beds, and if I ever see the two of you sleeping together again, I'll take fifty points! What kind of an example are you setting for the younger students? And both of you prefects!"

"We were just talking, professor," Scorpius said.

"Just talking, eh? Well, I don't want to see the two of you talking like that again, got it?" He cracked his knuckles and stormed from the common room, slamming the door behind him.

"I think Hogwarts is getting to him," Scorpius said, standing up. "Ah, it's only six. On a Sunday, at that. I think I'm going to go to bed, my neck's a bit stiff. I'd advise you to do the same."

"I'm not tired," Lily said, getting up of her own accord. The muscles in her back were annoyingly pained. "Maybe I'll just take a bath."

"Well, good night, then…or good morning…just have a nice bath, I guess." Scorpius yawned and stretched his arms. "I'll see you at breakfast, then."


	19. Chapter 19

"The snow's gone!" Kelsie shouted, raising her soccer ball above her head triumphantly. The Slytherin common room glanced at her suspiciously; what was she blathering about? No snow? So what? All it meant was that they couldn't chase Gryffindors down with snowballs. Kelsie slid over the back of the couch next to Lily.

"You want to go play?" she asked, throwing the ball at Lily. The ball bounced off Lily, who was too tired to do anything, and rolled off into the common room. The only thing Lily wanted to do was sleep, let her body recuperate before Bryan had them out on the pitch again.

"Not really," Lily muttered.

"Oh, come on! You're no fun."

"I want to go back to sleep."

"Then go to sleep; you deserve it after that save you made against the youngest Weasley."

Lily grinned as she remembered the look on Lou's face when she caught the ball everyone thought he was going to score, and then Dante got the snitch, securing the win for Slytherin over Gryffindor. They knew she could handle Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, now the only one left was Ravenclaw, which she knew would be a challenge. Everyone knew it would come down to the snitch, and Dante was beginning to feel the pressure. Lily didn't think she had seen him sitting still for weeks.

"Scorpius!" Kelsie shouted. "Do you want to play?"

"Eh, it's too muddy right now. In a few days, when the ground's firmed up a bit, probably. But I really don't want to get dirty now. I have to go on rounds tonight, so I won't have enough time to clean up after."

"Alright; Davis will probably want to play. See you guys later." Kelsie grabbed her ball and nearly ran into Aeolus on her way out of the common room.

"She has way too much energy for her own good," Scorpius muttered, sitting next to Lily.

Lily simply grunted, not wanting to engage.

"So are you ready for your mock-O.W.L.s coming up?" Scorpius asked.

"Shit!" Lily jumped up from the couch. "I completely forgot about them! I need to study!" Grabbing her bag off the floor, she flew from the common room up to the library. There was no time to waste.

3

It felt like a hammer had been taken to her brain. Twice. Maybe even three times. If this was what it felt like to take the mock O.W.L.s, she did not want to take the real ones. And, to top it all off, she was still stuck inside when all she wanted to do was to spread out on the grounds, let the sun reconstruct her brain, and fall asleep. But it had to be raining, pouring, really, and she had quidditch practice in a few hours. So instead of being spread out on the lawns, she was spread out on the floor of the Slytherin common room, Alexander on one side and Kelsie on the other.

"You know," Kelsie said. "If we try really hard, it's almost like we're outside."

"Not even close," Alexander said.

"I think I'm beginning to feel claustrophobic," Lily muttered.

"All you want to do is sleep," Alexander replied.

"Do you think we should just go outside anyways?" Kelsie asked.

"No," Lily said. "I'm going out for quidditch later; once is enough. You guys can go. I'll take a nap or something."

"I don't like getting wet," Alexander said in his elitist tone.

"You guys are no fun." Kelsie stood up. "I'm going outside."

"Fine, I'll come," Alexander muttered, as if someone was pulling out his tooth. "But don't expect me to enjoy it."

"Lily?" Kelsie looked at her expectantly.

"It's naptime," Lily said, folding her hands docilely behind her head.

"Fine," Kelsie muttered, "be that way."

"I will."

3

Lily couldn't breathe, an iron clamp stifling her lungs, a rubber plug blocking her airways. She opened her mouth as wide as she could, her eyes watering at the agony as she tried to suck in more air. It wasn't working. She wasn't getting what she needed. Looking around, she realized she was alone. It was black, dark, like she was buried or locked away in a closet. She was on her back, unable to move. Unable to breathe. She had a sickening sensation, like she was falling farther and farther down a black pit. Her muscles tightened in preparation for an impact.

The breath surged back into her lungs. She snapped into a sitting position and vomited all over the floor of the Slytherin common room. Her stomach tightened and she did it again. She wiped the residual puke from her mouth with her sleeve and stared at the puddle she had produced.

What was that?

"You ok?" Scorpius asked quickly, kneeling next to her. He waved his wand and the vomit disappeared.

"I…I don't know." Her stomach still flipped uncomfortably. She shifted to her knees. Her stomach contorted and emptied again. Scorpius flicked his wand.

"Come on."

He wrapped his arm around her and lifted her to her feet. Her knees trembled underneath her, strained under the effort of standing. She was tired, physically exhausted. She didn't know why. She just was. Was she sick again? Scorpius guided her a few steps before she nearly tripped over herself. He caught her and carried her to infirmary. Her breathing was hard. It hurt, too. Like she had broken a rib or something.

"What happened now?" Madame Pomfrey asked, directing Scorpius to an empty bed.

"I don't know. She was sleeping, and then she woke up and started vomiting," Scorpius said, putting her on the soft bed.

"How do you feel, dear?"

"I…I don't know."

"Alright, dear. Let's see. You can go, boy. I need some time with her."

"Of course." Scorpius left.

Madame Pomfrey went about her business. Lily didn't see her, or rather didn't heed her. She just stared at the ceiling, at the chandeliers hanging from the rafters. What had that been? Her heart ached. Her throat tightened. It had been…something, to be sure. Something.

Teddy.

It felt like someone punched her in the stomach, the cold realization washing over her like the ocean over the shore.

Teddy.

Tears rose in her eyes, her muscles tightened, her throat closed. They hadn't found him in time. They…they hadn't…he…shit.

"He's dead," she said softly.

"What dear?"

"Teddy's dead," she repeated. Silent, she sat up.

"Sit back down; I'm not done with you."

"Nothing's wrong with me," Lily said, trying to keep her emotions in check. She struggled to keep her breathing regular. She stood up, her legs still a little shaky.

"You're not alright."

"I'm fine!"

"Lay down!"

"No!" Lily started to walk to the door. She made it to the hallway, Madame Pomfrey letting her go, muttering "she'll be back" to one of the portraits.

"What are you doing?" Scorpius asked when she made it outside. He grabbed hold of her shoulders and stared at her.

"I need to write a letter," she said, pulling away from him.

"Hey! You just vomited all over the common room. Something's wrong with you."

"Yeah; what's wrong is that I need to write a bloody letter!" She tried to pull away from him again.

"Let me go!" She could feel the Weasley anger pour out of her and began to prepare for physical violence.

"You need to be evaluated."

She pulled out her wand and pointed it straight at Scorpius.

"What are you going to do? We both know you aren't a match for me."

She shouted the bat-boogey hex she picked up from conversations she had had with Vicky. Almost immediately, Scorpius let go of her. Without waiting to see the results, she went down to the dungeons, her jaw set and her hand clenched around her wand.


	20. Chapter 20

'Teddy is dead. –Lily'

Staring at the line, in her script, on her parchment, in her pink ink…she couldn't believe it. Before she could become overwhelmed, she rolled it up tightly and stowed it away in her pocket. She left her room, her eyes staring at the floor. No one would stop her if she was this focused. No one would question her if she looked focused.

"Lily!"

Except for Scorpius. She looked up at him, her teeth still clenched. She did not want to speak.

"What was that for?" He had a handkerchief to his face, blood spotting it.

"Get out of my way," she said, trying to walk by him.

"Hey! Don't just dismiss me like that!"

She looked up at him, her fists clenched at her side.

"What's going on?" He was perilously close to losing his temper.

"I don't want to talk about it." She tried to get by him again. He stopped her.

"Lily."

"I need to take care of something."

"Why are you so upset?"

"Just leave me alone for a bit, will you?" Her temper was beginning to flare.

"Why won't you tell me?" He lost it. "You just gave me a bloody nosebleed, after I cleaned up your vomit, and brought you to the infirmary, and you're treating me like shit! What did I do?"

"It has nothing to do with you!" Lily shouted back. She could feel her face burning with rage. There was nothing she could do about it.

"Then what is it?" He was furious. He didn't show it like Lily did, but he was. His jaw was tight, his eyes narrowed, and his arms tightly crossed over his chest. Although his voice was low, it was dripping with anger.

"I need to send something to my father!"

"Your bat bogeys give me a bloody nose and all you have to say is that you need to send something to your father? Are insane?"

"Maybe I am, Scorpius! What are you going to do about it? Get out of my way, I hope!"

"Are you going to pull your wand out again? Huh? Is that your solution? It isn't a very good one, Potter."

"Shove it."

She tried to get by him.

"I'm not done! I want an answer!"

He grabbed her arm and spun her around.

"Let go of me!"

"Lily! Give me an answer."

"I don't want to talk about it. What don't you understand about that?"

"You're upset about something, and I want to know what it is."

"I do not want to talk about it."

She accentuated every word and tried to pull away. He just stared at her. She kept her silence. If it was coming down to which one of them was more stubborn, she was going to win. She was her mother's daughter, after all.

"Fine. Whatever. Do what you need to do." Scorpius walked away, wiping a bit of blood off his face.

3

Lily stared at the barn owl she had chosen to deliver the letter. It was a little thing, nothing enormous like Jim's. It had big, brown eyes and an itty bitty beak. Lily gently stroked its head, biting her lip.

As soon as this letter left her pocket, as soon as she told someone, as soon as she admitted what it was, it would become real. Teddy would really be dead. He really wouldn't be coming back. She held a terrible secret, one that held the happiness of so many people. A secret that would save the ministry years of searching. A secret that would break the heart of her father, her cousin, her entire family. Everyone loved Teddy. Everyone admired him.

Growing up, he had been the one to encourage Al to be a seeker even though he was bigger than Jim. He had been the one to tell Jim to be beater instead of a seeker, breaking to him gently that he just wasn't good at seeking. He had been the one who taught Lily the game of quidditch, the subtleties of it, the minute details of it. He had been the one who held the key to Vicky's heart, who had a hand in producing the first Weasley grandchild. He had been the one everyone turned to for advice, looked to when a decision had to be made. He was the oldest cousin, a cornerstone of the Weasley clan. And now he was gone.

There was no one who could replace him – his easy going nature, his aloof attitude, his skill to morph at the most ludicrous moments. Dominique, the next oldest boy, would probably try and step up, be the one everyone goes to for advice, but he's too…Weasley…for it. Teddy was close enough to be family, but far enough so you could spill all your secrets to him without feeling guilty. He had been able to tell someone they were doing something wrong without offending them. Dom couldn't do that. He didn't have the skills. He was too close to the family.

Lily pulled the note out of her pocket and wrapped it around the scrawny leg of the owl. The little creature had no idea. It had no idea it held the fate of the Weasley clan, the heartbreak and the pain. It had no idea it would turn the world upside down or change the construction of the Weasley clan hierarchy.

Lily wished she could share in its ignorance.


	21. Chapter 21

"Lily! What the bloody hell was that?" Bryan demanded, throwing a towel at her in the locker room. She sat down on the bench next to Dante and stared at the green cloth of the quidditch robes. "That was the worst game I have ever seen you play! You completely humiliated not only yourself, but all of Slytherin! I hope you're happy! I expected you to completely shut out the damn Ravenclaws! But no, instead you only saved one fucking shot! How inept can you be? Nick would do a better bloody job than you!"

Lily bowed her head and stared at the towel, fidgeting with it in her hands. There was nothing she could do about it.

"And you don't even care, do you? No! Of course not! Because the great Lily Potter plays when she wants, and doesn't when she doesn't want! You're part of a team, Lily! A part of a team! No matter what time it is, or what day it is, or what kind of weather it is, or how you're feeling, you never let the team down! Is that so difficult to understand?"

Lily didn't reply.

"I asked you a question, Potter!"

"No, it isn't," Lily muttered. She didn't feel like arguing; not now.

"Get out of my fucking locker room!"

Lily looked up at him. His face was red, his neck was red, his whole body seemed to be red.

"Get out of my locker room!"

She stood up, numb, and left.

The quidditch pitch was abuzz with people – students and faculty – congratulating the Ravenclaws on beating the best team Hogwarts had ever known. Lily felt sick. She took a deep breath and tried to make her way through the crowd back to the castle. Before too long, she was being mocked. By everyone. They taunted her, yelled at her, screamed at her, everything. They had no right to do that. They had no right to make fun of her like this. She ignored it and continued on.

"Hey!" a loud voice boomed over the crowd. "Stop it! She didn't do anything wrong!"

"That's our point!" a young Slytherin shouted. A Ravenclaw near him smacked him upside the head.

"Shove it!" the voice shouted again. Lily identified it as Hugo. Al came out of nowhere and grabbed her by the wrist.

"We need to talk," he said, dragging her away from the crowd.

"Ah, Lily and Albus, just the people I wanted to see," the headmistress said, cutting them off. "Please, if you would, follow me."

"Later, then," Albus whispered.

They followed her to her office, where three other people were waiting. Their father paced back and forth anxiously, his hands thrust into his pockets. James watched their father, uncertainty clear on his face. Their mother sat in a chair, fiddling nervously with the cuff of her shirt.

"I wanted to tell you all before the others came," their father said. "I wanted to tell you together."

"James, Al, you might want to sit down," their mother said, standing up. She took James by the hand and sat him down. Al did so without her cajoling.

"What's happened?" James asked, on the edge of his seat.

Lily felt her stomach drop out. A blanket of cold wrapped around her shoulders. He was going to tell them. And she would have to see. She didn't want to see it. She didn't want to be here. She wanted….she wanted to be taunted and mocked by the other students, yelled at by Bryan, glared at by Dante, and ignored by the Slytherins. This was too much. She couldn't handle this.

"I think it's best if you just say it, Harry," their mother said gently.

Their father sighed and said, "Teddy has died."

Lily stared at the ornate carpet of the headmistress's office, the flowers and petals all intertwined. She didn't want to see her brothers…to see their pain.

"Teddy…how?" James asked, his voice rough and low.

"We don't know yet. We…the ministry has only recovered parts of his body."

Lily closed her eyes and bit her tongue. She couldn't cry. Not here. Not now. Damn. Only parts of his body? She rubbed her face and took a deep breath, harboring all her feelings in a small corner of her mind to be revisited and examined later.

"Who?" Al asked, his voice trembling and angry. He was crying. Lily could tell. "Who did this to him?"

"There's a band of rogue wizards living in Sweden. We think it was them."

Her father's voice was so calm, so detached, so impersonal. It made her angry. How could he be like that? How could he be so indifferent to the livelihood of his godson? She leaned against the wall and slid down, wrapping her arms around her legs and burying her face in her knees. She didn't want to be here.

"Why? Why would anyone do this?" Al continued. His voice cracked. No one replied. "What did he ever do to them?"

"I know, Al," their mum said, her own voice trembling.

Lily clenched her teeth. Maybe it was better when their father spoke, his voice solid and sturdy, confident and sure. Nothing he said could be questioned or attached to anything emotional.

"Merlin," Jim muttered. "I can't believe it."

"I know," their father said, his voice again strong.

The door to the office opened. Lily looked up. Nearly every Weasley in England came into the room – Uncle Percy, Bill, and Ron, Aunt Audrey, Fleur, Hermione, and Angelina, Vicky, Dom, Fred, Rose, Molly, Hugo, Lucy, Roxanne, and Lou. All of them looked unsure. All of them looked nervous when they saw Al and Jim crying in their seats.

Her dad repeated the announcement.

"What?" Vicky asked, demanded, her voice trembling. "What? No! No, it can't be true!" She slipped into French and only her mum knew what she said. The two of them went back and forth for a little while, her mum clearly trying to console her. She was inconsolable. Lily didn't watch.

No one else seemed to know how to react. They were all caught up in Vicky's reaction. Her father didn't tell them that only parts of his body were found, or that they had thought it was a murder. There was no need for them to know, at least not with the younger cousins around. The cousins split up into sub-groups with their parents, getting answers and consolation from them. Lou was having about as much difficulty as Vicky, tears streaming shamelessly down his face. His dad was with him.

Dom sat next to Lily, silent. They were the only two silent in the room. The others cried, murmured, asked questions, were confused. They were just silent, watching everything that went on around them. Slowly, those who were confused were just sad, and those that were sad were angry, and those that were angry were sad again. The headmistress conjured chairs for them all to sit on and sandwiches for them to eat. No one touched the sandwiches. Most of them sat down. Dom and Lily stayed on the floor.

"I suppose you knew beforehand?" Dom asked, glancing at his cousin. Dom was a good-looking guy, some would say better than Vicky. His hair wasn't as orange as Lou's and he was a tall, thin guy like his father.

"Yep," Lily said.

Dom nodded his head, not sure of what to say. Lily didn't know what to say, either. They sat there, in silence, each to their own thoughts. Hugo eventually came over and sat on her other side, his eyes dry as well.

"I can't say I was expecting this," Hugo said morosely. "I suppose this is why you played so shitty today?"

"Yep."

"I should have seen it coming. It was so obvious. He hadn't responded to my letters all month."

"He's only been dead for two weeks," Lily said compulsively. "He was held captive for awhile."

Dom and Hugo just stared at her, their mouths open. She tilted her head back and stared at the ceiling. She had to get out of here.

"I need to go," she said.

"Where are you going?" her father said sternly.

"Back to my common room."

"No. You're staying here."

"Why?"

"You're going to support your family."

"I can't handle this. I need to go."

"You think I want to be here right now? I want to be in Sweden, tracking down the bastards that did this to my godson. But I'm not. I'm here. And if I'm here, you'll be here, is that clear?"

Lily just stared at him, her jaw set. They stared at each other intensely for a moment.

Her father sighed, the look on his face softening, and gave a half-grin, "Do you know how badly I want to be angry with you right now? You look too much like your mother when you're angry. You can go."

Lily slipped down the spiral staircase, not even bothering to say goodbye to her father, a heavy burden strapped to her shoulders she couldn't seem to shake.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: I'm warning you right now; upcoming relationship stuffz. I cannot garuntee or even suggest realism when dealing with this kind of stuff because, well, I don't know how it's supposed to go down. All I have for experience is movie and tv, and we all know how generally realistic they are. I'm just asking for your mercy, understanding, and patience. Happy reading.

3

"I can't seem to stay mad at you for more than five minutes at a time, m'dear," Scorpius admitted, standing in front of Lily as she studied her defense against the dark arts.

"Is that so?" she said, turning the page in her book.

"Look, I'm just worried about you. You haven't been yourself. Even your girls are noticing it, and they rarely notice anything. I just want to know what's going on, to see if I can help in any way."

"You probably can't."

"Try me."

Lily stared at the picture of a werewolf in her book. Maybe she should tell him. She hated not being open with him. It felt like she was deliberately keeping something from him.

"Do you know who Ted Lupin is?"

"No."

She closed her book. Either she was going to have to do a lot of explaining, or he wasn't going to get it.

"Well…he's dead."

Scorpius sat down.

"Ok," he said. "Who was he?"

Evidently she was going to have to explain.

"He was the son of one of my grandfather's friends back at school, but he was only twenty-five. I've known him since before I was born. I came home for the first time, and I was told he was there. I learned to fly a broom for the first time, and he was there. I learned about quidditch, and he was there. He was like a brother. A good brother. Jim and Al were ok, but they just didn't have his easy going nature. I could just be whoever I wanted to. I could be the Slytherin or the goofy kid with a hat. It didn't matter to him. And he was like that with everyone. His parents died in the war, and his grandmother died when he was fifteen, but it didn't seem to faze him. He kept on going like he always had. He lived with us for seven years before getting his own place. He had a complicated relationship with my oldest cousin. He had a kid. And he was still Teddy. He…he was one of those things that never changed."

She opened her book again and started reading about werewolves. She knew she was reading the same line over and over again, but she wanted Scorpius to leave her alone.

"Is…is that's what's been bothering you?"

Lily struggled to swallow, but nodded her head.

"It's alright, you know," he said. "To tell me these kinds of things. You don't have to worry about scaring me away. If that bat bogey hex didn't do the trick, then I don't think anything will."

She glanced up at him. He was being sincere again. And he looked worried. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't cry. Not in front of him. Not yet. She stood up and gathered her things under her arm. Not trusting herself to speak, she walked away, wiping the tears off her face.

3

"I can't play Bryan," Lily said, handing the quidditch captain her uniform.

"Are you sure about this? Despite everything, you still are the best keeper we have."

"I…I just can't do it right now. I'm sorry."

"Alright. I know something's bothering you, so I'll let you off with just a disappointed glance."

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

3

The week of May second, all Hogwarts students went home. It was a wizarding holiday to emphasize the triumph of good over evil and the importance of family. In the Weasley clan, this meant getting together with the whole lot of them every day, doing an event, and everyone coming back to Hogwarts on May second for the service held there. Each year, Lily's father spoke and her mum, Jim, Al, and she had to stand up there in front of everyone, in new robes, and support their father. He was the face, they had been told since they were young, of the triumph of good. Lily hadn't known what that meant until later, when the stories of the Dark Lord started to take on a more real form in History of Magic, and the looks she was being given by students and professors started to get to her. Her father was the Boy Who Lived, the champion for good. And she was his offspring, from which equally great things were expected of. Lily still wasn't so sure of that one.

"No classes!" Alexander sighed, stretching out in the prefect compartment. Tempest grunted and shook her head. Some families took this week holiday lighter than others.

The compartment door slid open and Scorpius came in.

"Alex, Tempest, you're up."

"Lily hasn't been on rounds, yet," Alex moaned.

"Shove it and get out there," Scorpius said, grabbing the younger student by his collar and throwing him after Tempest. He slammed the door shut and locked it.

"Alright, Lily," he said, sitting across from her. "I need to get some thing straight."

"What is it?" she asked, gazing listlessly out the window.

"Do you or do you not want to pursue a relationship with me?"

Lily looked at him dead on.

"Are you breaking up with me?" she asked.

"I'm just wondering if you're still interested. The last conversation we had, you walked out on it."

"In the library?"

"Yes, in the library.'

"I've had prefect duties, studies, the upcoming O.W.L.s, quidditch practice, and my best friend just died, and you're worried because I haven't had the chance to talk with you in a couple of weeks?"

"All you do is mope around. You won't talk to me, you won't say hi to me, you won't sit next to me. Hell, you won't even study near me. Are you ashamed to be seen with me or something?"

"No…"

"Then what is it?"

"I'm sorry, alright? I don't know what you want from me!"

"I want you to be honest. I want you to be open. I want you to tell me when something's going on .I want to know if there's anything I can do to help you or comfort you or anything. As it stands now, all I can do is watch you be morose all the time. I don't want that."

"What do you want me to say, Scorpius? There's nothing I can say to you right now."

"I want you to say what you're thinking and to mean it."

"You want to know what I'm thinking, Scorpius? You want to know?"

"Yes."

"I'm thinking this week is going to suck. Really really bad. I'm thinking that I'm going to go back to the burrow and it's going to feel empty. I'm thinking Vicky isn't going to be her usual bubbly self. I'm thinking Flora will still be Flora and wonder where her father is. I'm thinking that Jim is going lock himself in his room and Al won't talk to me. I'm thinking my father is going to be preoccupied with finding the rest of his damned body, and that my mum is going to be completely obsessed with getting my brothers out of their bedrooms. But, they're my brothers, so it isn't going to work. It's just…not going to work. At all. We aren't going to have a good time like we usually do. It isn't going to be amusing. We won't have as much fun watching Teddy eat all the asparagus my grandma makes just for him…hell, we probably won't even have asparagus. And he won't force it down our throats…damn it."

She bit her lip and stared at the ground. She couldn't believe she was doing this.

"It's all right, you know," Scorpius said. "To feel something. You lived with the guy for seven years, and he's been a part of your family before that. I'd be nervous if you weren't."

"You don't understand. I knew it was coming. I knew it. And it still…it still hurts."

Scorpius sat next to her and wrapped his arm tightly around her.

"The way you talk about him…he must have made an impact on your life."

The first few tears began to trickle down her cheek. She sat up and turned into Scorpius, crying into his shirt. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight, protecting her.

It felt good to let it all out.


	23. Chapter 23

Jim picked Al and Lily up from the train, the way he bounced the keys in his hand was making Lily nervous; when did he get his liscense? And, probably more importantly, why did the muggles give him one?

"Hello, guys," Fred said, coming up behind Jim. "Oi! Roxanne! We're going with Jimmy!"

He waved down his sister. Roxanne pulled herself away from the gaggle of girls she was with and walked over to the four of them. She was a pretty girl, just beginning to garner attention from boys. Fred, unlike Jim and Al, was not an overbearing older brother. Lily was sure Roxy appreciated it.

"James is driving?" she asked, not bothering to hide her suspicion.

"Yep," James said, dangling the keys in front of her. "Don't worry; I didn't confound the proctor."

"Tell me he didn't," she said suddenly, looking to Fred.

"Of course not!" Fred shouted and laughed. "There's only so far Aunt Gin will let him go with his pranks, you know."

"Yep, and you get the first ride in my new car. Other than Fred, of course." Jim cockily stretched his arms.

"It's a great ride," Fred said, shaking his head.

"I'll be willing to bet it's a tin can," Lily said. There was no way Jim could afford a decent car.

"It's not a sports car, if that's what you're wondering," Fred said.

"But it is a respectable sedan," Jim finished. "Red, like an apple. Come on, I want to get home."

"Why didn't mum and dad pick us up?" Al asked, shouldering his bag for the week; there was no point in bringing their entire trunk home for just a week. Most of their leisure clothes were at home, anyway.

"They're at an appointment."

"Where?"

They all followed Jim and Fred into the parking lot. Jim being Jim, he had parked at the far end.

"Uh…some healer in Diagon Alley."

"Is everything alright?" Lily asked, not really worried about it.

"Mum didn't owl you?" Jim started walking backwards, a grin on his face.

"No," Al said. "What's wrong?"

"Mum's pregnant," Jim said, throwing his arms wide for emphasis.

Lily didn't know what to say.

"Isn't she a bit…old to be pregnant?" Al asked, scratching his head.

"Evidently not," Jim replied.

3

"So I hear you guys are opening a new shop?" Al asked and bit his sandwich.

"We want to," Jim said. "They're developing an all-wizarding portion of Godric's Hollow, a shopping district, you see, and we want in."

He laid down on the couch, stretching to his full length. Lily glanced out the window at the sea crashing against the shoreline.

"Why're we at the cottage, again?" she asked.

"Waiting for mum and dad," Jim said. "And Dom is supposed to be meeting me and Fred here."

"Fred!" Roxanne said. "You can't go out tonight. Wasn't mum supposed to be making her pie?"

"I never said I was going out," Fred said. "Relax; he's supposed to be bringing us samples of paint."

"That does not sound promising," Al muttered.

"We're painting our apartment over," Jim said, smacking him upside the head. "And we know how to paint."

"Wait, you moved out?" Lily and Roxanne said in unison.

"Why didn't you tell me, Fred?" Roxanne demanded.

"Does this mean I get your room?" Lily asked.

"Absolutely not," Al said, pushing up his glasses. "I get his room. You can have mine."

"That isn't fair!" Lily shouted, turning on Al.

"Geez, guys, could you be any louder?" Lou asked, walking in through the door. He plopped down next to Jim at the table and took Fred's drink.

"Of course it is!" Al said. "I've had to deal with him longer than you have!"

"Thanks, guys, I really appreciate your attitude toward me," Jim said.

"Oh, come on. You know he gave me more shit than he ever gave you!"

"Lily!" Aunt Fleur snapped in her undeniable accent.

Lou grinned and drowned himself in Fred's soda.

"I ne'er want to 'ear you say zhat again!"

"Yes, Aunt Fleur," Lily muttered.

Aunt Fleur said something in French and Lou got up and ran upstairs, reluctantly giving Fred his beverage back.

"Do you know when Dom is getting here?" Jim asked her, leaning back in his chair.

"Do not do zhat, and no."

Jim righted his chair.

"Come on, Dom," a distinctly female voice said. "You can't just stay one more night?"

"I can't, love," Dom, his voice low, said.

"Where are they?" Jim mouthed, looking around.

Roxanne pointed to the front window. All five of them peered outside. Sure enough, Dom was feeling up some blonde.

"His hands definitely aren't supposed to be there," Roxanne muttered.

"At least not in public," Lily replied.

"Shhh!" Al said, hitting his sister lightly on the back of the head.

"What is that?" the blonde said.

"Nothing; it's probably just the – what the bloody hell are you doing here?"

Dom jumped away from the blonde and turned his attention the open window. The blonde straightened her skirt and blouse.

"Hey…Dom…why didn't you ever tell me you were dating Stacey Clearwater?" Jim said. "I could have given you some pointers."

"Shove it, James," Dom said angrily. "Don't mind them."

His voice dropped and he murmured in French. Lily could see Stacey's cheeks flush red and she replied in a similar fashion and in the similar language.

"That's disgusting!" Fred shouted. "Dom, where are our paint samples?"

"Give me a minute with the lady!" he replied.

"Oooh," Lily said. "It seems you got the Dominique angry."

"Lily, I'll deal with you later! I really am sorry about this; I thought they weren't going to be here until tonight. Honest."

"It's alright, really. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"This week is occupied. My family takes it seriously."

"Tough luck."

"I'll see you next week."

She disapparated.

"Now I remember why I broke up with her," Jim said, shaking her head. "Dom, why are you dating her?"

"Don't interrupt me like that again," Dom said seriously.

"Come on! You can't be serious about her. She's unfaithful, disloyal, and immoral," Jim said. "She doesn't care anything about family!"

"Is that the only reason why you broke up with her? Because I don't think she's anything like you've described her. She's gentle, kind, sweet, adorable…"

"Hot, crazed, insane," Fred finished.

"Shove it!"

"Look, we only came here for our paint samples," Fred said. "And you know I was kidding."

"Hey! I need to patch things up with her now, and I don't know how."

"Sugar," Jim said. "Lots of sugar."

"I don't need your help. Here." He passed Fred a thick envelope. "I need to change." Dom went upstairs.

"I need to talk with him, watch them, will you? Make sure none of them snoop, Fred. That includes you," Jim said, bounding up the stairs after Dom.

"This isn't going to end well," Lily said.

3

"James, what happened?" Lily's mum said, hustling up to her son. His face was caked with dried blood, leftover from his fight with Dom.

"You should see Dominique," Lou spouted excitedly. "Mama had to take him to the hospital!"

"James!" his mum chastised.

"I was just trying to explain to him that he was making a mistake," Jim said. "But Dom has the Weasley arrogance and the veela temper, and it just went downhill from there."

"You didn't have to pound his face in!"

"It was self-defense!"

"I suppose none of you saw it?" her mum turned to the four of them sitting at the table.

All of them shook their heads. Lily thought she looked like she had gained weight. She supposed it was only proper, if she really was pregnant. But…it didn't look right; maybe there were two of them. One boy and one girl. One like her mum and one like her dad, both of them troublemakers like Jim and Fred. She shook her head sharply and rubbed her eyes. Damned headache.

"Why don't you just put on your glasses?" Al muttered.

"I hate them," Lily answered. "They look more adorable on Aspen than on me."

"Aspen the Adorable?" Al said. "According to you, everything looks adorable on him."

"It's not my fault."

There was a loud pop and Dom appeared in the kitchen. He glanced at the group, but said nothing and ran upstairs. Jim made to move, but Fred stopped him.

"I wouldn't do it," Fred said. "Not now. Give him a few days to cool off."

Lily glanced at Jim. Despite the blood splattered on his face, he looked nervous. It didn't take long for Lily to realize why. This was the kind of thing Teddy would settle. Fred sensed it, too, and became uneasy. Even her mum realized it. The mood was somber; it seemed nothing could lighten it.

"Aunt Ginny!" Vicky said, noisily closing the door. She threw her arms around her aunt. Lily thought, despite her outward enthusiasm, she looked haggard.

"Lily!" Flora shouted, running up to the older girl and wrapping her arms around her legs.

"Hello, Flora," Lily said, hoisting her onto her lap.

The little girl's pink hair, tied in pigtails, tickled Lily's chin. Sometimes, Teddy would change his hair pink, or another color, and ask Flora to do it, too. She always did it perfectly. Lily hugged the girl tightly. She giggled. Vicky sat down opposite Lily. Yep, she was exhausted, the bags under her eyes betraying her state.

"Been busy?" Fred asked, glancing at the oldest Weasley cousin.

"I've…um…been working overtime. They want to send me to Italy for a year, so I need to get some things in order."

Lily couldn't tell if she was lying or not; it was probably a half lie. The tell-tale signs of Vicky working overtime were profuse cuts on her arms from various crazed patients, and a scratch or two on her face. She was clean today. But she was notoriously bad at flat-out lying, so she probably was being considered for Italy.

"What about Flora?" Lily's mum asked, sitting down next to her.

"I don't know yet," Vicky said, rubbing her face.

"Are you just going to abandon her?"

"I'm not abandoning her!" Vicky snapped.

Everyone looked at her, but didn't say anything. She sighed and ran her hands through her hair. It was clear she was struggling.

"Can you watch Flora for a few? I need to go clean up," she said, her voice resuming its usual lightness.

"No problem," Lily said. "Right, Flora?"

"Right!" Flora said. "Come on! I want to show you my stuffed animal!" The girl slipped off of Lily's lap and dragged her upstairs to flaunt her new toy.


	24. Chapter 24

The Burrow didn't really look any different; Al's books were still stacked on the end table, a pair of dirty socks sat collecting dust in the corner, a small assortment of dirty dishes waiting to be washed in the sink. It was home. It hadn't changed.

"Sit down; your mother has something to tell you guys," her dad said, pulling out a chair for Lily. She sat down obediently. Al took the lead on their ruse.

"Let me guess; you're pregnant," Al said, crossing his arms in that arrogant Ravenclaw fashion so many Slytherins hated.

"With twins," Lily said.

"That's right," Jim said, getting in on the action.

"Well…yes…" their mum said.

"Wait!" Al lifted up his hand to stop her. "There are two of them?"

"Yes, a boy and girl," their mum said.

"Why didn't you tell us you were pregnant before? Send us an owl or something?" Lily asked, annoyed she hadn't been privy to this information. You don't keep this kind of thing from your family.

"We wanted to tell you in person, and last time we met…it just wasn't the right time, no matter what your father says," their mum said.

Lily had no choice but to accept the answer.

"Can I have Jim's room?" Al asked.

"Hey! I already called it!" Lily shouted back.

"Oh, come on, Lily. You can't really expect them to give it to you. I clearly deserve it more."

"What? Are you high or something?"

"Stop it, both of you," their dad said. "Neither of you are getting that room."

Lily slumped back against the chair. She had the smallest room in the house, other than her mum's office near the attic, of course, and it was cramped, barely enough space to lay down on the floor. Jim blamed it on her need to have a bookcase, bureau, bed, and a desk in there. Lily blamed it on Uncle Percy, who gave her so many books she needed a bookcase.

"Then who's getting it?" Al demanded.

"The twins."

Lily and Al groaned simultaneously. They weren't even born yet, and they were changing the face of the Burrow. Lily had an irking feeling this was not going to be a pleasant endeavor.

"They need the space more than either of you. I don't want to hear any complaining. Why don't you three help Jim load up his car with more of his stuff?" their dad said, his voice having an edge.

The three of them stood up, having no other choice but to do what their father asked.

3

Teddy's room was empty. Completely barren. Only a lopsided Weird Sister's poster still clung to his wall. The bed was stripped of his sheets and blankets, his clothes had been removed from his dresser, his desk was clean for once, and there was nothing strewn over his floor. It didn't look right. Not even a little.

Lily wanted to continue up the stairs to her room, but she couldn't. She couldn't go in the room without Teddy's permission. She couldn't tear herself away from the awkward sight. It felt like an iron band had clamped around her chest, taking away the comfort the Burrow gave her. It just…wasn't going to be the same without Teddy. Without her oldest brother.

3

"Finish your breakfast, Lil," her dad said, finishing his coffee. "We'd best be going before the rush."

"You say that every time."

"We need to get you robes, too," her dad said.

Lily's heart fell. Robes? She hated getting robes. The whole process was just…terrible. She finished her eggs and followed her dad through the back alley of the Leaky Cauldron into Diagon Alley.

The glasses place wasn't bad. It was near Ollivander's, and the guy behind the desk said that Lily would never need to get another pair. Her dad nodded, verifying the fact by throwing his own spectacles on the floor. They didn't even scratch. Lily didn't even care; as long as they weren't unwieldy or ugly or anything like that, she'd be fine.

They produced for her a narrow pair of light weight glasses. When she put them on, it felt like she wasn't wearing them at all. Immediately, she fell in love with them. And she was surprised at how much grey hair her dad had.

"You're too old to be having twins," she said, trying to make her glasses fall off like the other ones did. They fit well, not budging an inch.

"You think?"

"You aren't going to be able to keep up with them."

"I don't think so. I'm sure I'll manage."

"I don't know. I mean, have you ever spent a day running around with Flora?"

"Of course I have."

"Recently?"

"Just last week."

"I still don't know."

"Come on, we need to get you robes. I think your mum said to get you…what color was it? Periwinkle?"

Her dad was kidding. She knew he was. They got the same colors every year; black with their house colors for accents. It was to identify the unification of the wizarding world, or some sappy symbolism like that. Lily didn't like it all that much. She had seen pictures of all of them up there, and everyone appreciated the gesture of unification, but it just didn't look all that good. It didn't really matter. Mr. Malkin usually did a great job coming up with decent robes for her.

"Ah, here we have the youngest Potter, no?" he said, his wavy brown hair tied back in a short ponytail.

"For now," Lily said, grinning at the man.

"Ah, yes, I heard the news. Congratulations, Harry. How does it feel to know you'll be a big sister?"

"It doesn't really matter."

"For now, it doesn't," Malkin said, directing her onto the stool. She was eye level with the man. He flicked his wand and the stool boosted her higher. "Just give it a few months."

"Oh, I wouldn't listen to her, John," her dad said. "It is affecting them. You know James is moving out?"

"I haven't heard that. I'll have to chew him out later for not telling me. Don't move, Lily, or I will prick you."

"Well, Al and this one here had quite a row over who would get his room; it's the biggest one other than mine and Ginny's and their grandmother's."

"So I suppose it's going to the twins, then?"

"Indeed."

"What do you think of this, Lily?"

"I think I should get that room and the twins can have Teddy's," she said without thinking.

"We're keeping that room for Flora," her dad said.

Lily wanted to reply, saying that Flora didn't actually come over that often, that she didn't need her own room, that she always slept in Lily's room anyway, but she kept her silence. There was no point in arguing this now. Or ever, really. Her dad wasn't ready to relinquish the Lupin hold on that room.

"Alright, there we are," Malkin said, stepping back. Lily glanced in the mirror. The robe clung to her form nicely, just enough to reveal her feminine attributes, but not enough to make her uncomfortable. The long sleeves opened to gaping mouths at her hands, one of the few indications that this was, indeed, a robe instead of a dress, and it billowed at her feet. The top was entirely black, only the bottom design, an intricate pattern of leaves bleeding onto the black, was green. By the time the fabric got to her waist, the leaves had stopped growing into the black sky. The robe was lined with green, too, the hood and the inside of the sleeves visibly matching the pattern on the fabric.

"Wow," her dad said, "that's a nice robe."

"I like the look of it. James has a more straightforward robe, black and lined in scarlet. Al has a similar style, but his is trimmed in blue, as well as lined in it. Once he graduates Hogwarts, I'll switch him over to black and blue, like Jim's. I gave Gin the usual white and black. You're wearing your black one, I take it?"

"Yes."

"And here's your hat, Lily." He gave her a black witch's hat with a wide brim and a large green bow matching the leaves. It was sleek, nice, not gaudy at all. She put it on her head and looked in the mirror. It worked, she supposed. She was not a particularly adept person when it came to fashion.

"She's still underage, John," Harry said, taking the hat off her head and leaving her hair all frizzy.

"Oh, yes, sorry. I suppose I just got carried away," Malkin said, taking the hat in the back. "In a few years, then?"

"Then you can equip her in full wizarding regalia," Harry acknowledged.

"Dad, it's supposed to rain," Lily said. "I'm going to be the only one without a hat. And then my hair is going to look like I was stupefied after."

"We'll get you an umbrella," Harry said. "Now change back into your jeans and let's get some lunch."

There was no point in arguing with her father; there never was.

3

"Hello, Potter," Scorpius said, leaning against the wall of the ice cream place her dad brought her. He was grinning his grin, his dimples again making her heart throb.

"Malfoy," she said, unable to contain her own grin. She walked over to him.

"So what are you doing here?"

"Getting lunch."

"Ice cream?"

"Tradition."

"So you're with your father?"

"Yep."

"I like your glasses; they look good on you. Much better than the other ones," he said. He bent down and lowered his voice and continued, "And that color looks good on you. Your favorite, I presume?"

Lily blushed. He guessed right. She was wearing a pink shirt, nothing too bright, but evidently enough of a tip off to him. He chuckled and produced a small box wrapped in brown paper.

"I was going to send this with my owl," he said, placing it in her hand. "But I thought it better to give it to you myself. Don't worry; it's nothing too extravagant. I was just hoping it would make you smile a bit. I like it when you smile. Or when you're embarrassed. Or angry, so long as you aren't giving me a nosebleed."

She wrapped her hand around the gift. It fit in her palm, which was a miracle. Nothing ever fit comfortably in her hand. Her biggest weakness as a keeper was that she couldn't catch the quaffle with one hand; she had to use two or just knock it down and risk the other team getting it.

"You didn't have to do this, you know," she said.

"I know. Are you going to open it?"

Lily slipped a nondescript white box out of the brown paper and opened the box. It was a keychain with a pink cat dangling from it.

"Squeeze it," Scorpius encouraged.

Lily squeezed it and it meowed. Lily smiled and squeezed it again. It meowed again.

"That's adorable," she said.

"I was hoping you'd say that," he said.

"Hello, Scorpius," her dad said, putting his hands heavily on Lily's shoulders.

"Hello, Mr. Potter," Scorpius replied, a grin still plastered on his face. Lily wished he would stop; her father was not happy right now.

"Having a nice chat with my daughter?"

"Yes, sir. She's an intelligent girl."

"Indeed. Come on, Lily." Her father pulled her away from Scorpius. When Scorpius was out of earshot, he said in a harsh whisper, "what were you talking to him for?"

"We were just saying hello."

"He gave you something. What was it?"

"A cat keychain."

"Let me see it."

Lily dangled the pink novelty for her father to see. He took it in his hands and turned it around.

"I'm holding onto this to look into further," he said, slipping it into a handkerchief and putting it in his pocket.

"What?"

"Look, Lily, I understand you're both Slytherin. But if he's anything like his father, he isn't to be trusted."

"You invited the Malfoys into our home for Christmas, and now you're saying they can't be trusted?"

"Draco has changed his Hogwarts days, but his sons are still young. They're probably just as manipulative, conniving, and hormone-driven as their father. I don't trust them."

"You don't even know Scorpius! How can you say that about him?"

"I'm just looking out for you, Lily."

"Well, stop it, then. You don't even know what you're doing."

"I'm just doing my job."

"Do you trust me?" She stopped walking and looked at him.

"What do you mean? Of course I trust you."

"Then why can't you trust me to pick my friends?"

"He wasn't looking at you like a friend, Lily. I would think even you would have that much sense."

"What are you talking about? He looked at me like he always does!"

Her father rubbed his face and looked at her again.

"I cannot respect a Malfoy looking at my daughter like an object."

"He doesn't think of me like that! We have had intellectual conversations!"

"About what? The best way to kill a bloody muggle? No, I refuse to allow you to keep that sort of company."

"Removalism, dad! Removalism! We discussed removalism!"

"What the bloody hell were you doing discussing removalism?"

"We were on a date, and he was all 'oooh…muggles should stay in their place' and I was all –"

"You were on a date with him!" Her father's face was red. "We're going home. Now." He grabbed her arm and steered her out of the shop and down the street, through the Leaky Cauldron, and into the fire.


	25. Chapter 25

Lily stared at the ceiling of her room. There was nothing else she could do. Her father and mother were arguing downstairs. She could hear them loud and clear.

"You can't control her forever, Harry," her mum said.

"Stop sympathizing with her! You know the Malfoys as well as I do. He isn't safe for her."

They went on like that for an hour or so. Her mum defending her, her father rebuking her. Eventually, they fell silent, probably because they realized the time. She heard them creak up the stairs and her mum knock on her door.

"Get ready, Lily," she said. "We're leaving for Uncle Percy's soon."

Lily stood up, already dressed, and walked down the stairs. Her father was sitting at the kitchen table, docilely reading the _Prophet_. She lingered by the door, not wanting to engage in a conversation with him.

3

The first day of vacation, they went to Uncle Percy's and Aunt Audrey's in a muggle section of England. Why Percy would marry a muggle was beyond Lily's comprehension, so she didn't even bother trying to comprehend it. The second day was spent staring at the ocean outside Shell Cottage, admiring Jim and Al trying to fish. Lily didn't know what happened between the two of them, but all enmity between them seemed to have faded.

Only to be picked up by her and her father. They hadn't exchanged two friendly words since Diagon Alley. Sure, there were some hostile ones thrown in, but other than that, nothing. Her mum didn't meet her eyes, either. But for different reasons. She was preoccupied with getting the house in order for Friday, when everyone would invade the Burrow.

"Put on your robes, Lily," her dad said shortly, standing outside the bathroom. Lily rubbed the towel against her hair, trying to make it dry faster.

"My hair's too wet," she said.

"Then you should have taken a shower earlier."

"Al was in the shower earlier."

"Just get dressed, Lily."

Why did everything have to turn into an argument with him? She slipped into her room and took off her clothes and fastened the robes about her body. Going down stairs, she held her shoes – high black heels her mum finally gave her permission to wear. Every year, they lined up by height, shortest closest to their father, tallest farthest away. When she was younger, her dad had been on one end and her mum on the other. Last year, she had been between her mum and dad. This year, if the heels did their job, she would be wedged between her mum and Jim. Anything not to be next to her father…

"Sit down, and let me do your hair nice," her grandmother said, pushing her into a chair. Lily was as tall as her, which wasn't much of an accomplishment. The elderly woman played with the black curls for a few minutes and then patted her granddaughter on the shoulder.

"You're looking more and more like your mother every year, dear," her grandma said.

Lily didn't like it all that much when people said that. When she looked at her mother, she did not see what everyone else saw. She saw an aging woman past her prime, who had glory in the past but all of it was faded now, her body soft from childbearing and red hair. She saw her mother. She saw the hall of fame inductee and _Prophet _writer, not the quidditch star or war hero. Yes, she was short like her mother, and she may have the trademark Weasley freckles like her mother, and her eyes tended to be more brown than green, but that's pretty much where the similarities stopped. Her mum was protective and watchful, cautious and trepid. Lily did not think of herself like that.

"Hurry up and put your shoes on; your father wants to work out the order before you have to go on the train."

Lily stood up, slightly unsteady in her shoes, and walked over to where her family was waiting in the sitting room.

"Lily, you're on the far end, then Jim, then Al, then Ginny," their father said.

"That's a little weird, isn't it?" Al asked. He was wedged between their mum and Jim, Lily on the end.

"Yeah, shouldn't Lil switch with Al?" Jim asked.

"This is how we're doing it this year. That's that," their dad said. "We need to leave or we're going to be late for King's Cross."

3

Lily always felt awkward standing in front of a large portion of the wizarding community, knowing the wizarding TV stations were broadcasting this across the world, that the radio stations were transmitting it as far as their signal would reach. It made her uneasy. One wrong move and she would destroy not only her reputation, but her father's reputation, and, as the representative of Slytherin, her house's reputation as well. She stood with her hands docilely clasped in front of her, pretending to listen to her father talk.

She couldn't listen to her father talk. She picked up words every now and then. "War", "triumph", "good and evil", the same stuff he talked about every year. His voice was not directed toward those on stage, his family and selected ministry officials. It was directed toward the crowd, the conglomeration of wizards gathered on the Hogwarts grounds to commemorate the battle.

When he was finished, they clapped for a long time – probably five or ten minutes – while the five of them got off the stage. They continued the ceremony, the Potters sitting in the front row. Lily forced herself to look contemplative, like she was tortured by some inner memory she didn't realize she had. It worked every year. Not only that, but it shattered the pretense that Slytherins were all selfish and manipulative and they were all death eaters. Jim and Al did the best they could not to wriggle around and be all impatient. Her mum bit back tears, and her father would always hold her mum's hand tightly.

One by one, family members of the fifty five dead came to the podium to read their name. Uncle George read Fred's name, his voice strained and agonized. The names meant nothing to Lily. They were nameless faces, all who died in defense of Hogwarts. It was a part of life, a part of the struggle to live, sacrifices that were made. She didn't think anything of it. To her surprise, her father stood up.

A shiver ran down Lily's spine. What was he doing? He wasn't supposed to get up. He wasn't supposed to ready any names. At least, he never had in the past.

"Remus and Nymphadora Lupin," he said.

Lily felt tears prick her eyes for the first time at one of these things. Not because of who they were. But because those were Teddy's names. Every year for as long as he could talk, he would get up there and say them. Stumbling over his mother's lengthy name and grinning his boyish grin. When he was older, the grin faded. Last year…last year his voice had cracked while he did it, the saddest thing Lily had ever heard. And this year…this year he wasn't here at all.

Albus stood up a bit later. He always did. This was no surprise. His father had started asking him to do it one year after he turned thirteen. It was always the last name to be said.

"Severus Snape."

And then there was silence. Sort of. No one spoke. There was a lot of sobbing. A lot of sniffles. A lot of sighs. A lot of sadness.

3

The after party was worse. They all moved to the Hog's Head in Hogsmeade and had drinks and cake and all sorts of other things. It was stiflingly loud and crowded. Lily sat by herself in a corner, Fred and Jim talking with Uncle George about Fred's namesake, Albus expounding his knowledge of the loyalty of his namesakes. And Lily was Lily, not really doing much of anything. She didn't have a place at these sorts of things.

"Hello, Lily," Scorpius said, sitting next to her.

"Hey," she replied.

"You look beautiful. I couldn't stop looking at you when you were up there."

He slid his arm around her waist. Lily could see her father glancing at the pair of them. She moved closer to Scorpius to spite him. He made to move closer, but her mum interceded, distracting him with something.

"Have you ever been to Godric's Hollow?" Scorpius asked.

"No," Lily said.

"Really? That surprises me. It seems like one of those places your father would take you."

"He doesn't like to bring us places that remind him of the old days."

"So…you've never been to the graves of your grandparents?"

Lily glanced at him. She never thought it had been odd before. It wasn't like she had known them. But…she was named after her grandmother, wasn't she? Why wouldn't she have been to her grave?

"No," she said.

"Do you want to go?" he asked.

"Yeah; I think I do."

"You want to go now?"

"I…I don't know. I think I have to be here, being a Potter and everything."

"Are you telling me you can't think up a decent excuse for bowing out? I think visiting your grandparents' graves are enough of a reason."

"My dad wouldn't approve."

"I'm not asking if he would want to go, obviously he doesn't, I'm asking you."

"Yeah, just let me ask my mum."

Her mum gave her quick approval.

"I was wondering when you were going to ask that. You're going with Scorpius? Just be careful, Lil."

"Have you ever side-along apparated?" Scorpius asked.

"No," Lily answerd.

"Well, I guess this will be a day of firsts, then."


	26. Chapter 26

Lily was shocked by how…quaint Godric's Hollow was. With all the witches and wizards that had lived there, she had expected more. There were families walking around with little children in the cool of evening. There were muggles shopping at a grocer's and wizards walking around in their robes. It was bizarre.

"This is Godric's Hollow?" she asked, looking up at Scorpius.

"Yep." He grinned at her and wrapped his arm around her. "Isn't it great?"

"It's…rural."

Scorpius chuckled and started walking. Lily was grateful for his arm over her, keeping her warm. It was cool, like it had just rained. It smelled like it had, too.

"You know where you're going?" Lily asked.

"We're going to the Potter's house." He turned down a road. "They haven't rebuilt it, or anything. It's like a scar on the face of the wizarding community. There's a small memorial there for everyone who fought in the Second War."

He turned down another road and, at the end, Lily could see the ruins of the house. She had seen pictures of it in her textbooks, read stories of it, but the moss growing softly along the charred planks of wood was something else. It was like the earth was reclaiming it as its own, assimilating it back into its existence. Like it was scabbing over and healing. They walked towards it steadily, not rushing at all. She could see the board erected for the Second War, pictures and names plastered all over it.

Lily split from Scorpius and went to a small plaque outside where the door to the house ought to be. She couldn't see what it was supposed to say; there was too much writing on it. She started to read the writing. All of it was encouragement. All of it was positive. She could see clearly there were two levels; one of them older than the other.

"The older writing, the ones that look more faded, were written after the first expulsion of the Dark Lord," Scorpius explained gently. "All of it is...encouragement to baby Harry. The second wave was years later, when the Dark Lord returned, and only a select few believed it. The third wave is after the Battle of Hogwarts, and is full of gratitude rather than encouragement."

Lily put her hand on the plaque, the permanent marker there from before she was even conceived. Before Jim was conceived. It was kind of cool, really. These people gave him encouragement before they even knew what he was capable of. They trusted him.

She pulled away from that and turned to the board.

It stole her breath away. There were pictures, probably hundreds of pictures, behind glass. Each photo was labeled in black or red ink. There was a small card that said those who died during the war were written in red, those surviving in black.

Those fifty-five names of those who died appeared at least three times each, their loved ones putting pictures behind the protective glass. There were so many of them, so many smiling faces. So many young faces. One of them looked like he was barely fifteen, a camera around his neck. There were family pictures, group pictures, pictures of loving, smiling people. All of them were dead. All of them died.

One of the pictures punched her in the gut. Two twins, both built the same, both had red hair. One was Fred. One was George. One in red. One in black. There were several pictures of the twins together. One of them over a cauldron. One of them in front of a shop…the Weasley's Wizard Wheezes in Diagon Alley.

The one that wanted to make her cry, though, was the one of two people – Remus and Tonks, it said, both in red. With a small baby in their arms. A small blue-haired boy grinning at the camera. The woman looked exhausted, like she hadn't slept in weeks, her hair pink…like Flora's…and Remus didn't look much better. This was Remus and Nymphadora Lupin. This was the Lupin family, one of the only family pictures they had ever taken.

"Order of the Pheonix" it read, another picture. All of them were smiling, happy, joyous. Most of them were dead, she noticed with alarm. There was another picture of people not so happy. All of them were in Hogwarts uniforms. "Dumbledore's Army". She could make out the twins…her dad…her mum…her uncle…her aunt…some of the faces that were dead.

"What's Dumbledore's Army?" she whispered, almost afraid of the answer.

"It was an underground student-run organization designed to prepare students to fight against the Dark Lord. At that time, Hogwarts was run by the ministry, and the ministry refused to believe the Dark Lord had returned. They weren't being taught magic, so they took it into their own hands, at risk of expulsion and imprisonment."

"So…they risked their lives…even in Hogwarts…"

Lily didn't know what to say. There was a picture of her dad, Uncle Ron, and Aunt Hermione, all three of them young. Hugo looked a lot like his dad. There was another picture of all the Weasleys, their red hair and freckles sticking out among the other pictures like sore thumbs. There was another of her mother, covered in blood, wrapping a bandage around some poor bloke's leg.

"I can't believe…I can't believe it," she muttered.

"What can't you believe?" Scorpius asked, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"I can't believe all these people would die for Hogwarts. It seems silly, to die for a building." She became angry, any sadness she had eaten by her temper.

"Well, I don't think they died for a building," Scorpius said. "As analytical as a Slytherin, that's what comes to mind, doesn't it? They died to protect a place. But at the time, I think it was more than that. They were fighting for a way of life, so that…so that we could live in peace."

"I don't want it," Lily said gruffly and turned away. "They shouldn't have done that. It was silly." She gritted her teeth and started walking back down the street.

"What are you talking about?" Scorpius said, trotting after her.

"They didn't even know if they would win!" she yelled. "They didn't know what would happen! Why would they do that? It doesn't make any sense!"

Scorpius let her be. He didn't wrap his arms around her, trying to calm her down, he didn't say anything. He just followed after her.

"They put all their trust in a boy! A seventeen year old kid and his friends!"

Lily didn't know where she was going. She didn't know the layout of Godric's Hollow. She didn't know where the roads went. She didn't care, really. She just had to get away from that house. That symbol of idiocy. That…she didn't even know what to call it. It just…made her angry.

"They had to," Scorpius said gently.

"No they didn't. There were other ways."

"Like what?"

"I don't know! But I highly doubt a bunch of trained wizards committing suicide was the answer!"

"What are you...?"

"They didn't have to go and fight. They could have just locally defended their homes instead of having a massacre. They could have all survived." Lily felt tears threaten her anger. "Damn it!"

"They would have died eventually," Scorpius said. He was beginning to get angry, Lily could hear the steely edge begin to sharpen in his voice. "If they hadn't died there, then the Dark Lord would have hunted them down and killed them. All of your family would be dead, not just your uncle."

"No they wouldn't. Weasleys are resourceful people. They would have figured something out."

"But they're all Gryffindors! They would have stayed in England. You know it's true. People would have looked to them for guidance, and to the Order, and they all would have stayed! And you don't think the Dark Lord would have stretched his reach beyond England once that was under control?"

Lily knew he was right.

"Just shove it," she said sharply, turning down a narrow alley.

"That's a dead end," he said.

"Fine, then how do we get out of here?" She crossed her arms and stared at him. It was getting cold. She couldn't stand this for much longer. She wanted to go home, to curl up under her blankets, to seethe alone.

"Come on," he said softly, wrapping his arm around her. "It's getting cold. There's a little place near the cemetery."

"I don't want to go to the cemetery," Lily said. She struggled against him briefly, but gave in to his dominance.

"We don't have to, then."

3

Lily threw her dress robes on the floor. She didn't want to hang them up all nice like her mum told her to. She threw herself on her bed in her underwear, not wanting to put on clothes, too lazy, she supposed. She just stared at the patch of ceiling she always stared at, thinking thoughts that never occurred to her before.

Why was her dad the Boy Who Lived? What had he ever done? As far as she could tell, he was just there. And what had her grandparents ever done to get on the Dark Lord's radar? Wrong place at the wrong time? Had they done something that alarmed him? Didn't they have a secret keeper, like they did? If they didn't, that was awfully stupid. Were they a part of the Order in the first war? There hadn't been a picture of the first Order there. Is that why the Dark Lord was after them? Is that what they did?

And all the others – her parents and uncles and aunts and all their friends – the teenagers and students of Hogwarts, why did they fight? Did they think they were immortal, like Jim tends to think he is, so full of himself and confident? Was it just fierce Gryffindor loyalty, Hufflepuff duty, and Ravenclaw arrogance? Did any Slytherins partake in that war? Were any of the Slytherins…did any of them have…were any of them brave enough?

Was she brave enough? Was she brave enough to risk her life, put herself on the line for people she didn't know, do things that had unseen consequences, commit suicide for a cause? Was she as much like her mother as they said, willing to dirty her own hands for the sake of others? Was she as much like her father as they wanted, committing her life to sacrificing herself?

She didn't know what sickened her more; the idea that she was brave enough, or the idea that she wasn't.


	27. Chapter 27

Lily stared at all her uncles and aunts as they laughed and ate food….lots of food…at the Burrow. She had wanted to ask them what it was like – to fight in the Second War – ever since she had been to Godric's Hollow. And, perhaps more pressing, why. But every time she thought about asking, she felt her stomach churn in knots and her heart pound against her chest, as if she was having a heart attack or something of the sort.

She was too much of a coward.

"Is everything alright, Lily?" Aunt Hermione asked, passing her to potatoes.

"Yes," Lily answered shortly, finding her voice oddly caught in her throat.

"Why don't I believe you?"

"It's nothing." Lily passed the potatoes on to Al, who was engaged in a deep conversation with Hugo and Uncle Percy.

"Obviously it's something if it's distracting you from your meal."

"I just…" Lily shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Of all the people to get into a conversation about this, it had to be Aunt Hermione. "Why did you fight in the war?"

There, she said it. It was out in the open.

Her aunt leaned back in her chair for a moment, brushing her brown hair out of her face.

"Well," she said finally. "I suppose I did it in order to protect the things I love. The things I thought important. I mean, some things Voldemort were doing…he was doing to defenseless people. The muggles needed to be protected and the only way they were going to be protected was either through an intricate coordination of wizards or if Voldemort was taken out. The most effective way to protect them seemed the latter. Plus, your father wouldn't have been able to find any of the…he wouldn't have been able to track down and kill Voldemort without me."

Lily looked at her suspiciously; Hermione hadn't told her everything, the things the textbooks don't tell you.

"What is this talk about Voldemort?" Uncle Ron asked stiffly.

"Lily just asked why I had fought in the war," Aunt Hermione said, grinning fondly at Lily.

Lily felt her cheeks burn. There was silence up and down the table. No one had brought up the war in all of Lily's memory. Everything she knew was second-hand. Occasionally, someone would ask a question, and it would always be answered in a roundabout answer, like the one Lily had just gotten. Silently, she vowed never to ask a war-related question again. She was going to have to use her Slytherin guiles to get any decent information out of this crew. Forget straightforward. It wasn't going to work.

3

Lily and Scorpius sat in silence in the train compartment. Lily didn't know what to say or do; it was awkward. Se felt like she should do something after how she acted in Godric's Hollow. She knew it was inappropriate and that she was wrong, but she couldn't bring herself to say it.

"I'm sorry I brought you to Godric's Hollow," Scorpius said. "I didn't think you'd react like that."

"It's not your fault. I just…wasn't expecting it, is all," Lily said. It was about all she could muster for an apology.

"Apology accepted, then," Scorpius said, grinning. "And I really do like those frames."

3

Lily had never seen so many students with their noses in books as she did when she returned to Hogwarts. It seemed that everyone was studying for something. The seventh years had started their N.E.W.T. sprint, the fifth years their O.W.L.s sprint, and everyone else had already begun to study for finals. Even Scorpius was astonished by the shear lack of books in the library – from history of magic to herbology, there was no decent study material. Lily didn't even know what she needed to study, or what she wanted to do. She managed to pass all the subjects on the written test. Somehow. Even Wolfe mentioned his surprise. But she had no idea which subjects she was taking up to the N.E.W.T. level and which she was dropping. Hell, she didn't even know what she wanted to do after Hogwarts.

"What do you like to do?" Scorpius had asked.

"I don't know."

"Seriously?"

"Nothing I do can make me a decent career. Cook? I don't think so. I'm not doing that for a profession. Quidditch? I need to get on the ball and get into some recruitment programs if that's what I really want to do. I need something to fall back on, anyway."

"What about the ministry?"

"What about it? A desk job? Are you kidding me? I could never do that. I'd get way too anxious."

"Something like working with animals?"

"I don't know…I just like fluffy, cute things. All the other stuff just makes me…ew, you know?"

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know."

"I think you need to find out," Scorpius said. "Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?"

Lily sat down on his lap, it just looked so inviting, all Scorpius-like and everything.

"Of course," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and putting her head on his chest. She could feel him grin and wrap his own arms around her.

"You're gorgeous," he whispered, his lips brushing against her ear.

"Yeah?" she replied, trying to keep her head about her. It was very difficult not to with his scent intoxicating her.

"Yeah," he murmured and kissed her ear.

"Potter! Malfoy!" Wolfe said. His voice echoed throughout the Great Hall. "What in the world do you think you're doing?"

"Nothing, sir," Scorpius said, his voice unusually pitched. He cleared his throat and repeated it, this time in his normal tones.

"Get off of him, Potter," Wolfe demanded. Lily slid off of Scorpius, her body aching for his touch again. "Fifty points from Slytherin!"

"I think we're going to have to be more discreet next time," Scorpius whispered, his hand brushing hers as he went for the potatoes.

"Me, too," Lily said.

"Me, too," Al's cold voice said from above.

Lily turned around, a cold weight settling in her stomach.

"What was that?" Al demanded, grabbing Scorpius by the hood of his robes.

"A young man and a young woman displaying affection," Scorpius replied smoothly, standing up and squaring his shoulders.

"Al, don't do this," Lily said, grabbing his sleeve.

"Lily, don't."

"Al!"

"This has nothing to do with you," Al said, brushing her off.

"He's going to win," Lily said.

"Lily, stay out of it," Al continued.

Lily stood up and left, leaving them to their argument. There was no point in her being there to watch. She knew what was going to happen; Al would start a fight, but Scorpius would win. He had heard stories from Aeolus of boxing matches they had, and they never ended with Scorpius with his nose bashed in.

3

"Do you think this is discreet enough?" Lily asked, her lips centimeters away from Scorpius's.

"I certainly hope so. I don't think I want to move."

"Don't you think the Three Broomsticks is too…open?"

"No."

He covered the few centimeters and kissed her, more aggressive than he had ever been with her. Lily's heart felt like it would fly out of her chest, the euphoria swelling within her overwhelming. She returned his gesture with some tongue and teeth.

"A bit aggressive, eh?" Scorpius whispered. His breathing was a little heavier than usual, the hot air caressing Lily's face. She put her head against him, relishing in his warmth.

He leaned down and kissed her again. This time she put her hands in his hair, trying to bring them closer together, to make them one. Her body yearned for it, to be owned by him, cared for by him, adored by him.

"Merlin, Scorpius," she murmured.

"I want you, Lily," he said, teasing her with proximity.

"Then take me."


	28. Chapter 28

Lily thought her head would explode. She thought her wand was going to rebel and not work anymore. She thought she would not wake up tomorrow. She thought she was going to be unable to move. But Scorpius's suggestions worked wonders on her wand, the alarm clocks in their room were oddly temperamental, and her muscles weren't nearly as atrophied as she thought from sitting in a desk all day.

"How was it?" Kelsie asked, sprawling out on the grass next to Lily.

"Alright," she admitted. "Not terrible; could have been better. Transfiguration was eh. What about you?"

"Perfect," Alexander said cockily, laying down on the other side of Kelsie. "I did perfect. Kelsie did terrible, and you did wretched. There, can we stop talking about our O.W.L.s, now?"

"Yes, please," Kelsie muttered, folding her hands behind her head.

"Hello, guys," Scorpius said, laying down next to Lily in the grass.

"Hey," Kelsie and Alexander said, not nearly as thrilled to see him as Lily was.

"Don't you have class?" Lily asked, her hand seeking out his.

"Not anymore," he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her closer to him. Lily assisted in the process. "So have figured out what you're meant to do?"

"Snog you all day," Lily replied, rolling over and putting her free hand on his chest.

"Yeah?"

"Aguamenti," Kelsie muttered, pointing her wand at Lily and Scorpius.

"What'd you do that for?" Lily demanded, jumping up as cold water splashed along her back.

"To avoid another amazing Potter-Malfoy love shack display," Kelsie muttered.

"Oh, come on," Alexander said. "You know we could just go all love-shack back."

Kelsie hit him. They had been dating for a few weeks, now, and Kelsie had a strict public affection code she adhered to for some odd reason. Alexander would probably break her in a few more weeks, or over the summer. Or she would break him. Lily couldn't call it.

"Wolfe is coming, anyway," Lily muttered, noticing the distinctive gait of the potions professor crossing the grass.

"Got to run," Scorpius said, getting up and booking it off into the field, presumably to avoid detection.

Lily sprawled back down on the ground, letting the grass dry her back. In a few more days, she would be back at the Burrow, not worrying about anything.

3

"What did you tell Wolfe?" Scorpius asked, his arm tightly wrapped around her shoulders in the compartment back to King's Cross.

"That I didn't know."

"And what did he do?"

"I can't remember. I didn't sleep last night. A bunch of my girls lost their stuff, so I had to try and help them track it down."

"Mmm…fun," Scorpius said sarcastically.

"House-wide scavenger hunt, is what it was."

"Is it all right if I show up at the Burrow this summer?" Scorpius asked, gently stroking her hair.

"I guess so; you may want to make sure its ok with my dad." She put her feet next to her on the bench and closed her eyes. All she wanted to do was sleep.

"Alright; I'll do that, then."

She fell asleep amid the sounds of the train, the loud rattling and faint screams from other compartments, Scorpius playing with her hair.

3

Flora wrapped her arms around Lily's legs on Platform 9 ¾. Lily, still groggy, didn't know what to do with the girl nor could she figure out why she was there. She patted her head and didn't bother trying to lift her up; it was clear the girl had gotten taller, and Lily didn't want to risk embarrassing herself just yet with her lack of height.

"Who is this?" Scorpius asked, squatting down to be level with Flora.

Flora puffed out her chest and tilted her chin up.

"My name is Flora. I'm a veela and an animorphagus. What are you?"

"Flora, be nice," Lily scolded gently.

"I am Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, the next great wandmaker of Britain."

"Oh," Flora said, thrusting out her hand for a shake. "Nice to meet you!"

"Pleased to meet your acquantiance, Miss Flora, veela and animorphmagus extraordinaire," Scorpius said, taking her minute hand in his massive one and shook it.

Flora giggled as Scorpius stood up.

"Is she your…?"

"Uh…second cousin? Teddy and Vicky's."

"Ah, so this is the little Lupin, then."

"And also a consequence I, personally, would like to avoid," Lily muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Scorpius asked, wrapping his arms tightly around Lily.

"I don't know," she said. "That I don't want to have a kid until I'm off and married?"

"I couldn't agree more," he said, drawing her in close for a good-bye kiss.

Something hit Lily on the back of her head. Her head jerked forward and her lip smashed against Scorpius's teeth. She pulled away, putting her hand to her lip. Blood was on her fingers.

"What was that for?" Scorpius demanded, quickly crossing the distance between where Lily stood and where the perpetrator was.

Lily turned around and was not surprised to see Jim holding a quaffle in his hands, and a new one, at that. Lily had an irking feeling Scorpius would not wait to resort to force.

"What do you mean? I was just getting her attention; I knew nothing else would work. Hey! Lil! We're leaving!"

"That doesn't give you an excuse," Scorpius said, crossing his arms definitively.

Socrpius was a whole lot bigger than James, whether James wanted to admit it or not. If it did end up resorting to force, Lily had no doubt in her mind Scorpius would win. It was one of the things she loved about him, his complete inability to seem inferior no matter the circumstance and his absolute ability to protect her.

"Look, kid, she's my sister, alright? I think you know that, though. And not only that, but I have little five-year old under my watch right now, and she's anxious. So anxious I think she'd run away if I didn't have Al put her on his shoulders. Not only that, but I need to get home before my mum, who's pregnant, goes into labor because we're late. Hell, we're already late. And not only that, but Lily wouldn't give me the time of day when she's with a guy. It's nothing personal; it's just how it is."

"You hurt her."

"So what? She's given me much worse than a bloody lip."

"Scorpius," Lily said, gently trailing her hand across his back. "It's alright, really it is." She let her hand linger on his back, hoping the touch would calm him down .

"Are you sure?" he asked, his eyes softening already.

"I'm sure."

"Alright; do you need any help with your trunk?"

"I'll manage."

Scorpius tightly embraced her, as if he would never let go. Lily wasn't even sure her family had ever hugged her that tightly.

"I'm going to miss you," he whispered.

"I'm going to miss you, too," she replied, her hands resting precariously close to his tight bottom.

"You'd better keep in touch."

"Of course I will."

Scorpius lightly kissed the top of her head and let her go.

"Have a nice summer, then. I'll owl you."

"You'd better."

Lily picked up the one end of her trunk and started to drag it. Jim took the other end and they made it out to his car.


	29. Chapter 29

"So, Lily, I hear you have a boyfriend," Aunt Hermione said, passing her the potatoes. Lily put some on her plate and passed it on.

"Really?" Vicky asked.

Lily couldn't help but cringe. She knew what was coming. Rose had gotten one when it was first known she was dating Greg. Molly got one along with her first boyfriend. Now she was getting one. Despite all her efforts to curtail the event, nothing could prevent them from knowing about Scorpius.

"So who is it?" Hermione asked, passing the squash. Lily gave it straight to Vicky.

"Scorpius," Lily said.

"Scorpius? Malfoy?" Vicky asked, almost dropping the plate of squash.

"Mhmmm," Lily replied, shoving potatoes in her mouth. Maybe they'd leave her alone if her mouth was full.

"I hope your keeping your hands to yourself?" Hermione asked.

"Mhmmm."

"Oh, come on, Lily!" Albus said from down the table. "You two are all anyone in any house can talk about! There's more debate over whether you two sleep together than if the house elves are overworked."

"Of course the house elves are overworked," Hermione said suddenly. "They have to run that whole castle; how could they not be?"

"Are you sleeping with him?" Vicky asked, her eyes narrowed.

And so it came.

"You know what happens when you sleep with someone," she said, her voice low.

"I know what can happen," Lily replied sharply. "I know that you got pregnant, and that you wished you could have waited, but that you still love Flora anyway but that's not the point, that you hope I'll learn from your mistakes instead of making them myself, and that I'll wait until I'm married to have sex. I know this. I've heard it multiple times before. I'm not sleeping with him, ok?"

"Are you going to?"

"No," Lily said, unconvinced. She knew she sounded unconvincing, too.

"Just use adequate protection," Vicky murmured. "I'm not going to fool myself into thinking a Slytherin can keep their hands to themselves. Especially when the Slytherin is dating a Malfoy."

Lily glanced at her cousin, surprised. She wasn't sure if that was meant to be insulting or…or not. And did she compliment Malfoy? Lily couldn't figure it out. It was probably for the better.

3

Lily woke up annoyingly early the first day of summer vacation. The sun was barely over the horizon and she was down in the kitchen, sitting across from her father and sipping a cup of orange juice. He was silent, reading the _Prophet_.

He didn't look good. His eyes were ringed by dark circles, exhaustion written on his face. His hair looked greyer, his shoulders more slumped. He was torturing himself over finding the rest of Teddy's body.

"You aren't going to find it," Lily said softly. "It's lost."

Her father looked up at her, a bemused grin on his face.

"What is?"

"The rest of his body."

Her father folded the prophet and stood up without a word. He put his cup in the sink and left Lily sitting at the table, alone.

3

Scorpius was really nice looking, Lily supposed, trying to ignore the rousing conversation of cauldrons Hugo and Al were having in the kitchen. She stretched out on the couch, relishing in its worn, warm surface. And she missed him already. It had only been two days, and already she longed for his presence, his protection, his insight, his discussion, his body. And she had to wait until Friday to see him. They had already decided to meet at the Leaky Cauldron then and later spend sometime in Diagon Alley.

She hoped he didn't want to take her back to Godric's Hollow. She didn't want to go there again. Ever. It was bad enough Jim had moved there, but she didn't want to. At all. She didn't want to visit. She wanted nothing to do with the place. Not now, not ever. She wasn't…she wasn't strong enough for it. Maybe she wasn't brave enough for it, either.

She gritted her teeth. The idea that she wasn't brave enough annoyed her. Is that why she wasn't in Gryffindor? Because she didn't posses their bravery? Or was it just because she had the Slytherin shrewdness and cunning? There was no way for her to really tell. It angered her. Did she really know herself?

Maybe she should go fly her broom, take her mind off this depressing train of thought. Maybe it would just clear up her head a bit. Leaving the comfort of the familiar couch, she slipped out back.

3

Not for the first time, and hopefully not for the last, Lily wished she didn't have to breathe, that she could just stay like that, locked with Scorpius by the mouth, for an eternity.

"I missed you so much," Scorpius murmured, pinning her against the brick wall in the alleyway.

"Me too." Lily gasped for air, her heart pounding against her chest for Scorpius.

Scorpius bowed down again, his hands sliding up the back of her shirt, running over her skin.

"What are you doing?" she asked. He had never done that before.

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

Lily longed for him to continue again, to claim her as his own.

"I didn't tell you to stop," she said, bridging the distance between them.

Scorpius grinned, his dimples sending shivers down her spine, and resumed.

3

The dinner table was silent. Lily wasn't sure if she enjoyed it or not. Jim wasn't there, messing around with his food, cracking jokes and trying to be funny. Teddy wasn't around, either, to cause a ruckus. Her mum and dad never really talked at dinner, instead enjoying sitting in silence. Al never talked to her anyway, instead saving his voice for arguments with Hugo. Lily wasn't sure if she liked it or not. It was nice not having to argue, but the silence was almost deafening.

"I'm going on an assignment," her father said, putting his napkin on his plate. "Al, I expect you to look after your mother and sister. Lily, you have your first day working at the joke shop tomorrow. I fully expect both of you to obey your mother. Listen to her, do what she asks. Jim should be coming later to outfit you, Lily, in a shop uniform."

"Do you know what I'll be doing?" she asked innocently, stabbing her carrots with her fork.

"Probably the desk for Godric's Hollow," her father said.

Lily groaned.

"Why do I have to work at Godric's Hollow?" she asked.

"Because Fred and Jim will be working on new product. Someone needs to watch the store. I imagine you'll be reimbursed nicely."

"Can't I switch with Molly or Lucy?"

Both of them were working in shops; one in Diagon Alley and one in Hogsmeade. From what she overheard on the car ride back to the Burrow from Jim, their father was not happy with their choice, instead wanting them to get involved at the ministry. They hadn't been persuaded, though, and still held their positions.

"You'll have to discuss logistics with James," her father said. "I need to get ready. Excuse me."

Her father stood up and left, and again they fell into silence.

3

"Alright, Lil," James said, crossing his arms and staring at his little sister. "I suppose we should outfit you. The Weasley's Wizard Wheezes is taking a stance of fusionalism, so we switched out the uniforms from the adorable neon robes I know you were so excited to wear."

"Thank Merlin," Lily said.

"Here." He thrust a black polo shirt with the company logo emblazoned on the left breast. "It'll change color and the specials will show up on the back when Fred gets to writing them on the page."

"Who came up with this?" Lily asked, turning the light material in her hands. It definitely looked like it would be more comfortable than the heavy robes they used to have to wear.

"Me and Fred. Put it on; I need to see if it fits. It was our smallest size, so I don't know if I'll need to adjust it or not. I probably will; we didn't order shirts to fit children."

"Thanks, Jim, I really appreciate the confidence."

She slid it over her white tee-shirt, and sure enough it was too big. Jim waved his wand and the shirt constricted to fit her small figure.

"Just wear a pair of shorts or jeans or something; we really don't care. By the end of the summer, we probably will, but right now it's a free for all. Any questions?"

"Is there any way I can switch with Lucy or Molly?"

"Uh…we set up a rotation. Every week you switch out. So one week you'll be in the Hollow, the next at the Alley, then at Hogsmeade, and back again."

"Is there anyway I can avoid the Hollow?"

"Nope; why would you want to avoid it, anyway? All the witches and wizards there'll know you for who you are immediately. They tend to go easier on us than they do in Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade, when all is said and done. It's not bad at all. Be at the shop tomorrow by nine to help set up and go through a quick check."

"Fine," Lily muttered, taking off her shirt.

"I'll see you then," he said, giving her a brief hug. He disapparated quickly, probably to go talk with Molly and Lucy and give them their shirts, as well.


	30. Chapter 30

Lily sat in the stool behind the counter and stared at the _Prophet_ Jim had left there. They had done a brief article on the new Weasley's Wizard Wheezes shop opening in Godric's Hollow, including a history of the shop that turned into a biography of their Uncle George. Fred had cut it out and plastered it on the wall behind the counter.

"How's it going?" Jim asked, walking up to the window.

"Fine," Lily replied.

"I'm opening now," he said, flipping the sign over.

Fred came down the stairs that led to their apartment above, a Harpies' cap backwards on his head. The black shirt had the words "Grand Opening, ½ price all merchandise".

"Fred, do you know where you put the cash box?" Jim asked.

"It's right here," Lily said, putting the metal case on the table.

"Ok, good."

"So we just wait now?" Lily asked, flipping through the newspaper.

"Yep," Fred said.

3

By the end of the day, Lily was tired. She was tired of selling joke items. She was tired of talking with well-meaning customers. She was tired of hearing about how fantastic her parents are. She was tired of listening to stories of her grandparents who used to live there. It seemed everyone who came up to her said something about how good it was to see Potters back in Godric's Hollow. Lily was really indifferent to this.

But as she stood in the empty shop, so much of their goods dispensed with, she wondered what it meant for there to be Potters back at Godric's Hollow. Was it a symbol of how peaceful the world was again? Was it a nice gesture? Was she just making this up as she went?

"Sweep the floor, will you?" Jim asked, thrusting a broom in Lily's hands.

James and Fred restocked shelves, muttering about how they're going to need a bigger cashbox for the holidays. Lily was caught in the rhythmic motions of sweeping; backward, forward, backward, forward, step, backward, forward, backward, forward step, again and again.

"Did dad ever want to move back here?" Lily asked, thinking James would have a better idea than she did.

"I don't think so. From what I've heard, the Burrow was more of his home than here, nice as it may be. Besides, all the Weasleys live over there. Mum wouldn't have liked it much here, anyway. Too crowded for her taste. She needs space."

"I guess."

"Do you wish we had lived here?"

Lily stopped sweeping for a moment and glanced at her brother.

"No," she said. "It wouldn't have been the same. Everyone would be watching us like hawks. None of us would be able to get away with anything, and we'd always have to act like its May second. I hate that."

"What?"

"Pretending like I'm deeply moved by the services."

"You aren't?" Fred asked, nearly dropping a box of puking pastels.

"Not throughout the entire thing. I mean, sometimes something will happen that's heart wrenching, but…I don't want to look indifferent and I would if I didn't play it up a bit."

"I guess you really do belong in Slytherin. You know, I wondered for a long time why you were put there," Jim said. "I mean, I knew you were manipulative and had a tendency to be able to talk your way out of a lot of trouble; you were the youngest and knew what buttons to push. But…I don't know. I always thought you'd join me in Gryffindor. I had no doubt Al would be Ravenclaw."

"He even smells like Ravenclaw," Fred said.

Jim and Lily chuckled.

"Yeah, but I was honestly surprised…shocked…when you were sorted into Slytherin. And so fast too…"

"I didn't even get to object," Lily mused softly. "I heard you had quite the argument with the hat, Fred."

"I am not a Huffelpuff," Fred said sharply. "Never was, never will be."

"It didn't ask my opinion or anything."

"That was how the Malfoys were sorted, and some other purebloods," Fred said. "Sometimes, the hat has already made up his mind. Kind of odd, really. If I ever get to ask the hat another question, that's what it would be about."

"Lou was sorted like that, too. I think he was the only one of us, really, who was. I remember I just sat there with the hat on my head for what seemed like ages, waiting. I thought it didn't know what to do with me," Jim said.

"I remember that," Fred said. "I thought about what would happen if I went up there and it decided I was a squib. I hated you for that."

3

Lily couldn't fall asleep. She supposed it was the silence; she never remembered the Burrow being this silent. Or empty. Jim always played his music when he was falling asleep, and Lily could hear it from her room. Teddy…Teddy had always stayed up late into the night, muttering to himself about one thing or another, sometimes just getting flat out angry. Her father usually creaked the floorboards, pacing back and forth in their bedroom. Her mum usually finished up daily chores in the kitchens.

Tonight, though, her mum was already asleep, Jim was off in Godric's Hollow, Teddy's room was empty, and her father was off in Sweden.

Sweden…why did he have to go there? Lily's hands clenched under her blankets. It wasn't going to amount to anything. She knew it. He knew it. All the other people in his crew knew it, too. And if he was just going for revenge, then he was going to come across quite a few problems; aurors should be as clear headed as possible, and his anger did not lend itself to clear thinking. He was putting his crew in jeopardy.

She rolled over and tried to get to sleep, pushing her cheek against the cold pillow. It didn't work.

3

"You look exhausted," Scorpius said, sitting next to her at the ice cream parlour.

"I am," Lily said, mixing her ice cream with her spoon.

"You aren't hungry?"

"No, sorry. I just…I'm really not going to be good company today."

"What's bothering you?"

Lily glanced at him; he really knew how to read her. She supposed maybe she wasn't being as cryptic around him as she could be.

"I'm just worried about my father. He…he went to Sweden, which was where Teddy was killed, on ministry business."

"But you think it's more than that?"

"I know it is. He's going out of revenge. He's going to make mistakes."

"You think?"

"I know."

"That's not going to be good, is it?"

"Nope."


	31. Chapter 31

Lily rested her head on the counter of the joke shop. She couldn't do this today. She felt like she was going to fall asleep at any moment. But she really didn't want to. She didn't want to have a dream about the stag.

"Merlin, Lily," James said, putting a steaming cup of coffee on the table next to her. "Drink up; you aren't doing anything for business."

"It's slow," Lily said. "Can't you guys handle it? I'll just…" she failed to bite back a yawn, "I'll just rest right here."

"Go home, then," James said. "Go home and sleep. But you won't get paid."

"I…I don't want to. I'll wait it out here."

Lily sat up, forcing herself to maintain consciousness. She did not want to sleep.

"No, Lily, leave. I'm not even kidding at this point."

"But…"

"Leave."

Resigned, Lily stood up and stepped in the fire. She did not want to sleep.

3

Lily cried into her pillow. The stag…blood…everywhere…it was too much for her.

3

"So, Lily," her mum said, watching her from the doorway to the kitchen. "You want to go for a walk?"

Lily glanced up from her book. She didn't even like tome; it was one of Al's about the rise and fall of medieval magic in muggle Europe.

"Sure," Lily said.

She stood up and walked next to her mum, slowing her pace to match the older woman's.

"Something's on your mind," her mum said.

"Nothing important," Lily lied, staring into the clear sky. The clouds were particularly puffy today.

"You're lying."

"It's…it's nothing, really."

"Well, I want to know anyway."

\

"I was just…" Lily bit her lip and turned her gaze to the ground. Did she really want to tell her mum? There was no easy way around it. "I don't know if dad'll come back in one piece."

Her mum sighed and rested her hand on Lily's back.

"Neither do I," she said.

They walked in silence for awhile.

"Is there anything else?" her mum looked at her, concerned.

"I…why did you fight in the war?"

Why the hell did she ask that? Of all the things to bring up, it had to be that. Her mum walked a little while before answering.

"I think there were a few reasons," she said softly. "In the beginning, back in fourth year, I…I wanted to prove myself. I wanted to prove to my brothers I wasn't just their little sister, and I wanted to prove to your father that I was right for him. But…after that first fight…it became more than that. It became fighting to protect those things that I wanted to prove myself to. It was…kind of weird. I knew after the first battle that if I didn't do anything, that if I just sat there and did nothing…then he would have won. And everything I knew and loved, my family, my way of life, all of it, would be taken from me. I…I fought for you. And James and Albus. I wanted my…my children to grow up knowing they were safe. Knowing they…that you…didn't have to fight for survival or flee the country or worry…"

"Did you really fight for us?" Lily looked at her mum, suspicious. "No sixteen year old would think of that."

"I was fighting for the future. Whatever that may have meant."

They walked for a few more feet in silence.

"What did it take?" Lily asked, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

"What do you mean?"

"Was it hard? Or…or easy…or what?"

"It was…the hardest thing I've ever done. I had to have complete trust in my wand and my ability…I think I peed my pants at the beginning of the last battle. I can't remember that well."

"Was it because you were a Gryffindor? Is that why you could do it?"

Her mum stopped walking and looked at her.

"Why do you ask?"

"Were…were there any Slytherins?"

"Severus Snape was a Slytherin. He was one of the most influential and loyal members of the Order and unshakably Dumbledore's man."

"Other than him, though, was there anyone else?"

Her mum didn't reply.

"Could…could I have done it?"

Her mum stopped walking.

"Why are you asking that?"

"I just need to know and I don't know."

"If you had been there…I think you would have fought."

They continued walking for a few more feet.

"Are there…are there still dark wizards out in the world?"

Her mum stopped walking again and faced Lily.

"No," she said, tears welling up behind her eyes. "No, don't do this. Please don't do this to me." Her mum's arms wrapped tightly around her. "There are…you don't have to…please promise me you won't…you won't become an auror."

Her pleas pierced through Lily's heart. A part of her wanted to say yes, that she wouldn't become an auror, that she would find something else…but she didn't know what she was going to do.

"Look, mum," she said, evading the question. "I was just wondering. Alright? I wasn't saying that I'm going to hunt them down. I don't know what I'm going to do."

Her mum sighed a shaky sigh and pulled away from her.

"I just…I just don't want to see you get hurt.'

"I know, mum," Lily said.

3

Lily leaned against the wall of the Leaky Cauldron. Scorpius should have been there by now. He was going on fifteen minutes late. He was never late. Silently, she began pacing. The establishment began filling with patrons for dinnertime. She was supposed to be going with Scorpius to Diagon Alley for dinner. Where the bloody hell was he?

He was thirty minutes late. She stopped pacing. How could he be that late? How could he be that late and not tell her? He had been late before, but had told her. Had he

forgotten?

Forty-five minutes. She sat down at a table and sighed. How long was she going to wait for him? Ah hour, she decided. If he didn't show up in the next fifteen minutes, she was leaving.

"Hey, Eric," she said fifteen minutes later. "If Scorpius comes in here, tell him to owl me."

"Of course, Lil. Whatever you ask," the young man said, bowing his brown haired head in her direction.

"Thanks."


	32. Chapter 32

Lily wrote Scorpius a very angry letter and sent it off with Al's owl. Then she sprawled out on her bed and stared at her little patch of ceiling that seemed to be the receptacle of so many of her thoughts.

He should have told her he was going to be late. It was only appropriate, right? If something had come up…no, he still should have owled her. Did he not care? Is that what it was? No, he cared. The way he looked at her said he cared.

"Lily?"

"What, Al?" She was harsher than she had to be.

"Mum told me to tell you Scorpius is down stairs."

"What?"

She stood up immediately, stubbing her toe on the edge of her desk. Biting back the pain, she flung open her door. Al had already left, halfway up the stairs and heading to his room. She went downstairs. Sure enough, Scorpius stood in the middle of the kitchen. She didn't see her mum.

"Lily," he said immediately, walking towards her. "I'm sorry. I thought I had more time than I did. We have relatives from Norway, of all places, at the manor, and I was in charge of amusing some of my cousins. I really didn't mean to…"

"I would have liked some warning and I sent you a nasty letter, just so you know."

"Did you curse it or anything?" He looked apprehensive.

"No; I'm underage."

"I really am sorry, though." He put his hands on her arms and she couldn't stay angry at him.

"It's alright," she said. "Just let me know next time, ok?"

"Of course."

He gently brushed a strand of hair out of her face and kissed her. Lily wanted more, hungered for it. She had been deprived since leaving Hogwarts.

"Come on," she said, grabbing his hand and bringing her upstairs.

"What are you doing?"

"Shove it; Al will hear, although he's probably already enamored by something or another."

"What about your mum?"

"She's probably already asleep."

Lily closed her door behind her.

"Merlin, Scorpius," Lily said, wrapping her arms around his high neck. "You're gorgeous."

Scorpius smiled and wrapped his hands tightly around her waist and lifted her up with ease. She gave out a little squeak, not quite expecting that. He chuckled and Lily wrapped her legs around his waist. His hand slipped down, cradling her bottom. Lily played with his hair and kissed his cheek, his ear, his neck, his shoulder, and whatever else she could reach.

He laid her gently on the bed and started rubbing her sides, her thighs, her bottom while she continued to play with his hair and kiss him. His hand slipped up her shirt, his hands softly caressing her bare skin.

The door flew open.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" Al demanded, grabbing Scorpius by the collar and pulling him off the bed. Lily pulled her shirt down and jumped to her feet.

"You have no right to burst into my room!" Lily said, brushing her hair out of her face. Her heart was still pounding against her chest, her vision not quite clear of euphoria.

"Get out!" Al snarled, trying to pull Scorpius from the room. Scorpius didn't budge despite Al's best efforts.

"Albus, please," Scorpius said, sounding as cool as ever. "You must know your sister is an adult, now."

"She's still my baby sister. I won't let you molest her."

"Albus!" Lily cried.

"I'm not molesting anyone. Lily, I'm sorry, but I think I need to go." Scorpius kissed her lightly on the cheek and left, glaring at Albus.

"How could you?" Lily demanded, hitting Albus.

"What do you mean how could I? I was protecting you!"

"I don't need your protection!"

"What's going on?" their mum said from the door, gazing in on the two of them.

Lily gave Al a warning glance.

"Nothing," Al said, bristling by their mum.

"Lily?" she said.

"Nothing," Lily conceded, her throat dry.

3

Lily sat down at the breakfast table and stared at her toast. Her dad still wasn't back yet. He should be back soon. But knowing him…it would be awhile. She looked up at a sound.

"Flora, what are you doing here?" Lily asked. She was not expecting to see her little cousin so early in the morning.

"You look silly with glasses," Flora said and giggled, her pink hair pulled back in their usual pigtails.

"Alright, sweetie," Vicky said from the other room. "I'm gonna leave now, ok?" She stopped behind Flora and squatted down to her level. "Alright?"

"I love you," Flora said, wrapping her arms around her mum's face.

"I love you, too, Flora," Vicky said, her voice muffled by her daughter's shirt. "I'll see you in a few months, ok? You be good for Aunt Ginny."

"O'course!" Flora declared enthusiastically.

"Good, good. I love you." Vicky put her forehead against the girl's. "Try not to be too silly. And don't forget to brush those teeth of yours."

Flora smiled an exaggerated smile and laughed.

"Are you sure you'll be alright without me?" Vicky said, her hand resting on Flora's small cheek.

"Are you going to be good without me?" Flora asked, her little hands on Vicky's large one.

Vicky smiled and stood up, her hand still on her daughter.

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" Vicky asked Lily's mum, who was walking into the kitchens.

"We'll be fine, won't we, Flora?"

"Yep!"

"It's alright; go ahead before you change your mind. They need your expertise."

"Thank you so much, Aunt Gin."

"Don't worry about it. Just be safe, ok?"

"I suppose I do have to go. By sweetie," Vicky said, kissing Flora one more time on the top of her head.

"Bye bye mama," Flora said, smiling.

Vicky left, biting her lower lip.

"Uh…what's Flora doing here?" Lily asked her mum.

"Vicky's going to Italy to work on a cure of lycanthropy."

"How long, exactly?"

"About a year, but it might be longer."

"And...Flora is staying with us the whole time?"

"Yes; it isn't like the _Prophet _can't spare me. I'll just do most of my work from home. It's no big deal."

"I'm going to be your sister!" Flora said excitedly, bouncing up and down in the chair.

"No you aren't," Lily said. "We have two different mothers."

"Oh…"

"I need to go to the shop; I'm already running late," Lily said, standing up to head to Hogsmeade.


	33. Chapter 33

"Lily, make sure you don't…pick them up, will you?" Uncle Ron said, motioning to the display Lily knocked over. She got to work. It took her nearly fifteen minutes to get it back the way he wanted it.

"Alright," he said. "Now you can go to the counter."

Lily stood behind the register, waiting. It was a slow day. A few ruffians came in looking for some dungbombs and one kid wanted something to get out of his family gathering. Lily happily equipped them with their desires. The Hogsmeade shop was bigger than the one in Godric's Hollow, but it was a whole lot more crowded. Merchandise was everywhere; piled on the floor, in shelves, in displays hanging from the ceiling. The crowdedness of it made it feel all the more like a joke shop, in Lily's opinion. She flipped through a book of products and prices, trying to memorize as many as possible.

"Can I have a box of nosebleed nougat, please?" a customer asked.

Without looking up, Lily ducked under the counter and looked at the boxes stacked up. Nosebleed….nosebleed…nosebleed…ah, here it was. She put the purple box on the table and read off the price.

"To be honest, Potter, I thought you'd at least look at me."

Scorpius stood in front of her, in his hand a cherry lollipop. He licked it. His tongue was red, colored from the candy.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, stepping from behind the counter.

"Just came to say hello," he said.

"That's it?"

"And…you know…maybe see if you would let me take you out for lunch."

"I don't get off for twenty minutes."

"I can wait."

He leaned against the counter and sucked on his lollipop. He didn't say anything, but lingered in silence. Lily just stared at him; no one was coming in, she could afford it. He wore an untucked green button-down shirt, equipped with a loose black tie, his sleeves rolled up, and a pair of black pants. She loved how he always wore decent clothes; she couldn't remember ever seeing him in a faded tee-shirt. It made her respect -- and adore -- him all that much more.

"You know, I really don't like it when you stare," Scorpius said lightly, glancing over his shoulder. Lily bowed her head and pretended like she was studying the book again. She felt his eyes boring into her head.

"I don't like it when you stare, either," she murmured, turning a page to try and help her focus.

"I can't help it," Scorpius said.

She knew he turned away, his footsteps carrying him into other parts of the store. His eyes were still on her, though. She tried to act calmly. Her heart pounded against her chest anyways.

"Uncle Ron! Do you have any more puking pastels? We ran out," James said, hurrying into the shop. "Lily, where are they?"

"Down stairs, I'd guess," she said, making a supposition. She really didn't know.

"Do you know where Uncle Ron is?"

"Upstairs, looking into some of the recipes you gave him."

"Alright, then. I suppose I should wait here, then?"

"Probably."

"You know you have a customer in here?"

"He's just waiting for me to get off shift."

Scorpius turned around, grinned at Jim, and waved. James did not look nearly as amiable as Scorpius.

"Why is he waiting for you to get off shift?" Jim asked in low tones.

"We're going to get some food. Do you have a problem with me eating?"

"I have a problem with you eating him."

"I'm not eating him."

"That's not what Al tells me."

"We both know how much romantic experience Al has had. You can't tell me you're going to base your opinions on his biased observations."

"He told me what happened."

"What? About he couldn't stand to see me kissing a real boy?"

"Don't even try to pretend you were just kissing."

"Lily, you can go eat now," Uncle Ron said, coming out of his office. "Jim, let's get those puking pastels. I'll show you where the stores are and give you a key."

Jim followed Uncle Ron into the back.

"Do you want to go now?" Scorpius asked, his lollipop stick hanging out of his mouth.

"Yeah," Lily replied, taking off her work shirt, and put on a Harpies cap. Scorpius wrapped his arm around her and directed her out of the shop.

"So are you going to let me make up last night to you?" he asked, his grip tightening on her.

"I think we're fairly even after Al's little episode."

3

Lily thought about Scorpius. And it frustrated her. It wasn't that she didn't want to think about Scorpius; that wasn't it at all. It just seemed there were other things that she ought to be paying attention to that she wasn't. Like what she was and wasn't supposed to be cutting and where, exactly, was Flora? It didn't matter, though. Al was around somewhere, probably making sure Flora didn't get in too much trouble, and her mum was home, so if she cut herself, she was covered. She thought about Scorpius.

He was probably at his house, right now, playing with those cousins he was telling her about. How many of them were there? Three? They were all under the age of ten. It made her smile to think of him losing a board game to a bunch of kids. He would let them win, of course, but he would still lose.

Or maybe he would just read to them. She could see him doing that, putting them all to sleep before dinner even started. Her heart skipped a beat. Yes…that was more his speed -- completely oblivious to their disinterest, but demanding their attention anyway.

She finished chopping the tomatoes and threw them in her sauce. They were probably getting anxious from their older cousin by now. She knew, no matter how much she respected and looked up to Vicky, she could only stand it for so long. She inhaled the smell of garlic; there was nothing better.

"Lily!" Al shouted, coming into the kitchens, Flora clinging to his back like a koala bear.

"Yeah?" she said, wondering faintly if Scorpius was giving one of his cousins a ride.

"When's dinner going to be ready?"

She shrugged; whenever it was done cooking. These things took time.

"Flora needs to eat; it's getting late," Al said.

"What do you want me to say? I can't exactly cook any faster."

"Can't you like, make her a sandwich or something? By the time this is done, she'll be sleeping. Hell, mum's already sleeping."

"Well…I'm kind of busy right now." She brandished her knife at him.

"Fine," he said, reaching easily over his sister to grab the peanut butter.

"What're you doing?" she demanded, attempting to push him away.

"Stop; you'll cut yourself. I'm making Flora a sandwich because she needs to eat."

"I am hungry," Flora said sleepily, her head resting on Al's shoulder. "And sleepy."

"Fine." Lily relented.

Al set Flora down at the table and stood next to Lily, trying to messily assemble a sandwich.

"Whatcha cooking, Lily?" Flora asked.

"Pasta," Lily sighed. She didn't want to talk with her.

"Oh. I don't like pasta." She made a face. "I like peanut butter!"

Lily glanced at the sandwich Al made. It was terrible; the bread pieces weren't lined up and he didn't even cut it. Rolling her eyes, she nudged him out of the way. Didn't he know anything? She fixed it quickly and cut it in four triangles, like Vicky always made them. Al put it in front of the little girl, a sour look on his face, and stared at her while she ate.

A loud crack, a small squeak from Flora, and Lily's father slumped against the wall, his eyes closed, his face thin, his beard unshaved, and his hair messy.

"Hey, dad," Al said casually.

"Hey, Al," he said, ruffling his son's hair. He moved forward. Lily thought he looked like he was in pain. She didn't say anything; he hated it when people asked him how he was doing.

"Hello, Uncle Harry!" Flora said, peanut butter stuck in her mouth.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" Uncle Harry asked, taking off his glasses and rubbing his face.

"I'm eating dinner!"

Lily took the pasta off the stove.

"Is it done?" Al asked, hovering over Lily.

"Yeah."

Al grabbed a bowl and filled it with pasta.

"Come on, Flora," he said, taking the girl's hand. "It's time for bed."

"Here, this is for you."

Lily slid a plate of pasta at her father. She wanted to jump on him, to wrap her arms around him tightly; he had come back in one piece. But he was unsteady on his feet, an obvious limp in his left leg. She sat across from him and stared openly at him.

"I'm not talking right now," he said briefly and inhaled his dish.

Lily got him some more; he usually had a big meal when he came home from assignments. He didn't touch it.

"They used it; we couldn't find it," he said.

They couldn't find his body.

"What'd they use it for?" her voice trembled slightly.

"We don't know."

The clock ticked loudly on the wall.

"How's your mother?"

"I…fine, I guess."

"The shop?"

"Alright."

"I'm going to bed."

"Good night."

3

Lily sat next to Scorpius, silently mixing her drink with her straw. Not even a

fiber of her being wanted to talk. Scorpius just gazed at her in mutual understanding. Lily knew he knew something was wrong. He always did. He also started waiting for her to bring up the topic. She hated that. The admission made her feel too vulnerable and uneasy. Maybe he just liked that power; he was, after all, a Slytherin.

"Do you want something else?" he asked gently. "Something to eat, maybe?"

"I'm fine, thanks."

He nodded slowly and sipped his drink. He wasn't going to say anything. Lily wanted to throttle him. She could see it bothering him, too, the way his leg started bouncing in anxiety, his eyes started dancing around the room, and the way he tried to spark a conversation. None of it worked, though.

"What's bothering you?" he finally asked, leaning forward against the table.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said.

That wasn't the whole truth, she silently acknowledged. Yes, there was a part of her that wanted to keep it inside, to let it rot there and take out half of herself with it. But there was the other part that scolded her for being so…so difficult with Scorpius, who was just trying to help.

"Why not?"

"I just…my father came back from his assignment. He didn't find what he was looking for."

"What was he looking for?"

"Teddy's…Teddy's body."

She felt like the iron armaments she wore were removed, and it was just her standing naked in front of Scorpius, who held a bastard sword.

"Oh."

"My father's planning his funeral for the beginning of August."

"But…"

"We hardly have anything to bury -- an ear, a foot, maybe a few fingers and a rib…not to mention my oldest cousin isn't around. She's in Italy working on lycanthropy. She won't be able to make it in early August, unless she works something out. She'll never forgive my father if she misses it."

"Do you think she will?"

"I don't know. I don't want to talk about this any more."

"Ok."


	34. Chapter 34

AN: Said it before, I'm going to say it again; please forgive my idealistic approach to relationships. I don't exactly know the nuts and bolts of it, most of it is speculation, the rest what I've picked up from the tv, and I know that's not exactly the most reliable resource. Thank you.

3

Lily stared at her father across from her at the table. He was silent, his face impassive. He had shaved and her mum had cut his hair; he looked respectable again. But he wasn't fully recovered. He still had that haunted look about him. Lily wondered if it would leave this time.

"What's wrong with your leg?" she asked finally. He had been limping around and clutching it sporadically throughout the week.

"It's just a scratch."

Flora laughed in the other room, her lilting tones carrying throughout the house. Lily's mum said something, the words blurred through the walls.

"I doubt it," Lily muttered boldly.

"What makes you think that?"

"You'd have shown Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione."

He had kept his wound oddly secretive. Usually, he would show off his injuries, telling wild stories of running away from unicorns and thestrals. He hadn't told them any stories, and had stayed in the Burrow, choosing seclusion.

"They haven't been available," he said simply.

"You haven't shown Al."

"You and I both know he only looked because Jim looked."

"You haven't shown me."

A bird chirped loudly outside the window.

"I need to go to work," her father said, standing up gingerly. He left the house. Lily heard him disapparate.

3

A black dress hung on the back of Lily's door. She hated it there. She wanted to burn it, as a matter of fact. It made her feel alone, empty, hardened. She hated it. Throwing her bag over her shoulder, she slid down the stairs and flooed herself to Diagon Alley.

"Oh, Lily," Uncle George said. "You're stocking today."

Lily slipped on her shirt and went out back. There were boxes upon boxes of stuff that needed to be documented. She pulled out a pen and grabbed a clipboard from the pile and started documenting. It was boring. It was long. It was incredibly hot and she was perspiring the whole time. It seemed she was down there for an entire day, moving around goods, verifying the contents of numerous boxes, and counting everything. She hated counting.

"Lily?"

She looked up the stairs. Aunt Angelina was standing in the doorway.

"What are you still doing here? I thought Scorpius was kidding when he said you were here. Didn't George send you off?"

"I…I thought I was still on shift," she admitted, scratching her head. How long had she been down here, exactly?

"Alright, well, Scorpius is upstairs. Why don't you go? Take tomorrow, too. George has worked you hard enough already."

"Thanks," Lily said, dropping her papers in the correct files. She scampered up the stairs.

Scorpius was examining a puking pastel, a new one, and seemed rather skeptical. She slipped next to him and wrapped her arm around his waist. The contact made her feel at ease.

"Hey," he said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"What time is it?" she asked, glancing out at the dark street.

"Almost nine."

"Are you kidding?"

"No."

"How long have you been here for?"

"Not long."

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

"It's alright. You want to go get something to eat?"

"Yeah," she said, leaning against him.

3

Lily glanced around the room. Panic briefly gripped her; where was she? A soft snore besides her reminded her; Scorpius's room. She relaxed against his body, taking comfort in his warmth. It had taken away all her feelings of loneliness, discomfort, unhappiness, and replaced them with joy, happiness, and indescribable contentment. Despite some discomfort, it was everything she had thought it would be.

"Hey," Scorpius muttered, his voice hoarse.

"Hey," Lily replied softly.

"How're you feeling?" he asked and gently kissed her cheek.

"Good," she replied.

"Are you…do you need to go home?"

"I told my parents I was staying at Kelsie's," Lily replied, gently placing her hand on his chest.

"My, my, my," he murmured. "You are quite the Slytherin."

"Yes I am."

"What do you think about getting some breakfast?"

"I think we should."

He kissed her again, a grin on his face, and slipped on a pair of green silk pajama pants. Lily started to put on her pants.

"Just wear this," Scorpius said, draping one of his shirts over her shoulders. She stood up and looked at him, grinning sheepishly.

"I…I don't know…"

"We're the only ones here, right now," he said, beginning to button up the shirt that fell to her knees. "Aeolus is probably out riding his broom. My parents are in France for three weeks. And even if Aeolus is around, he won't say anything. I can't tell you the amount of times I've seen him walking around with a girl."

"And do you ever walk around with a girl?"

"Only you," he said, kissing her again.

They walked slowly, Scorpius because he still looked like he was going to fall asleep, Lily primarily because she was awed by the manor. Last night seemed a blur; she couldn't remember much of the house. But now, taking it all in, she was stunned. No cost was spared in making the Malfoy Manner glow with dignity, pride, and décor. It was not a place for little boys, growing up rambunctious and what not. Maybe that was why Scorpius always had his nose in a book; he didn't want to break anything valuable.

"Are you going to live in this house when you're older?" Lily asked, admiring a picture of an ancient Malfoy ancestor in his prime, his eyes and hair matching Scorpius's.

"I'm not the heir; Aeolus is. I'll get a nice cut from the funds, but I won't inherit the manor. I don't want it, either. It's too…foreboding."

"I think it's pretty."

"Now you do. Live here for seventeen years, and you'll change your mind. Even my mum has problems with it sometimes. Her and my father had a row once about redecorating the dining room. He refused to allow it, said it was Malfoy tradition to keep it in the current style."

Lily smiled to herself and gently made her way down the stairs, her eyes still captivated by what she saw around her.

"I'm amazed at you," he said. "It's as if you didn't do the same exact thing last night."

"Last night was overshadowed by your…amazing…performance," she said, her hand squeezing his bottom. He laughed and picked her up, quickly bringing her down the rest of the stairs and into the kitchens.

"What was that for?" she demanded, pulling his shirt down. Then she caught sight of the kitchen. It was empty save for a single house elf, his ornate green pillowcase bearing the Malfoy coat of arms.

"I couldn't wait to eat. What do you want for breakfast? Tiddly will gladly make you anything." He steered her to a chair.

"I…I'll get it myself," she said, finding herself oddly against using a house elf. It wasn't that she didn't trust them or approve of them…ok, maybe it was. Who knew what an unhappy house elf could slip into your pancakes.

"Not here," Scorpius said. "You like waffles? Pancakes? I think I'll have pancakes. Tiddly?"

"Yes, Youngest Master Malfoy, what can I do for you this morning? It will be my pleasure, whatever it might be, Youngest Master!" The little house elf scraped the floor with the tips of his ears.

"Can you make me and Miss Potter, here, some pancakes?"

"Of course, Youngest Master Malfoy, of course! It would be my pleasure! My absolute pleasure, Youngest Master!"

"Why does he call you…"

"Because Aeolus is older," Scorpius interrupted, knowing what she was going to ask. Lily shrugged and decided not to bring up the subject.

"What do you like to drink? Tea? Coffee? Juice?"

"Juice, I suppose," Lily said.

Scorpious flicked his wand and two cups appeared, both of them full of orange juice. Before too long, Tiddly had the pancakes on the table, complete with butter and syrup. They ate in silence, both of them content with just the presence of the other. After, they changed and went out on the grounds, both of them getting distracted by the other. They walked in silence for awhile; Lily enamored by the beauty around her.

"So…if you aren't going to live here," Lily said slowly, her imagination captured by a particularly exotic flower. "Where are you going to live?"

"I'm going to live with Olivander for a few years, get the craft of wandmaking under my belt, and then open a competitive shop in Diagon Alley."

"He's going to let you do that?"

"He knows his shop is declining. He's getting old. This year, he'll sell the last of his best wave of wands. He doesn't have any family to pass his shop off to, and he doesn't want to give it to me. Once I open my shop, he'll be able to relax and allow his stock to be sold out, and then he can retire in peace."

"So you're definitely making wands, then?"

"Oh yes. My father isn't terribly excited about it, but someone needs to take over the English wandmaking. It might as well be me. Olivander thinks I have some serious potential. I intend to change the way people look at wands, as well. I mean, the Olivander has it set up now, you get the wand and leave. There's no…there's no…I don't know. The way he does it seems very simplistic. And it isn't. Wands are anything but. Young students need to know that; they need to understand at least some of the subtleties that goes into having a wand of your own. And I've been looking into the advanced cores, and I really think they need to be used more. At least for those who are in a high-magic job. You know what I mean? It'll give them more…power…control…all that sort of stuff they need."

"You're such a…what is it that Molly keeps saying? Dork? You're such a dork, Malfoy," Lily teased, bumping into him.

"Yeah?" He grabbed her wrist and drew her closer to him. "You made one dork very happy last night. Whatever a dork is." He kissed her. "So when do you need to go home?"

"I don't know; what time is it now?"

"Almost one in the afternoon."

"I suppose not for awhile, then."

Lily laid down on the grass, staring at the clear sky and the puffy white clouds. Scorpius lay down near her, resting his head on her stomach. Her hand played with his hair, adoring how soft it was.


	35. Chapter 35

Everyone was asleep. Lily was glad to see that was a case. She crept silently up the stairs to her room, amazed at how sore she felt. That was one thing she was not expecting. It didn't matter, though. She didn't regret it.

"What are you doing home so late?" Lily turned around. Her father stood at the bottom of the stairs, his arms crossed over his chest.

"I lost track of time," she admitted, feigning sheepishness. She had tried to get out of Malfoy's earlier, but he…distracted her.

"You never asked permission to stay overnight."

"Neither of you were around and I didn't want to come all the way back to the Burrow just to ask you."

"Just…make sure you ask next time."

"Ok."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Lily."

Lily slipped inside her room and shut her door. She fell into her bed, not even bothering to change, and fell asleep. She had to work in Godric's Hollow tomorrow.

3

"Lily, are you ok?" Fred asked, leaning against the counter. Lily glanced up at him from the book she was reading and nodded.

"You've been around shifting uncomfortably all morning," Jim said from across the room. "You did it with him, didn't you?"

"What?" Lily said, aghast they had figured it out.

"You and Scorpius…you finally had sex, didn't you?" Fred asked bluntly.

Lily looked from one to the other for a few minutes.

"We've known you since before you were born and both of us are old enough to remember what Vicky acted like after she did it with Teddy," Jim said sharply. "And, honestly, I'm disappointed."

"Oh, come on, Jim. Don't get all jealous because I got some before you and Al."

"I'm not jealous, Lily! You shouldn't have sunk to his level!"

"Jim!"

"How long have you been going out with him? Three months?"

"Seven!"

"That's not long enough," Jim spat.

"Are you serious? I'm not a little girl. You're still acting like I'm Flora's age. I don't need you to protect me."

"Evidently you do if you're making love to a Malfoy!"

"James!"

"Look, he's going to break your heart. I know he is. That's what he does."

"That's what Aeolus does."

"They're brothers, Lily. You don't think they're the same?"

"They aren't the same! Aeolus is brazen, bold, rash, insensitive, and selfish! Scorpius is smart, intelligent, patient, kind, and absolutely perfect!"

"No."

"You don't know him like I do."

"I'm glad I don't."

"Just shove it. You don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes I do. I've seen plenty of girls fall in love with a guy with all this charm and then you know what happens? He splits up with them or cheats on them or whatever. You're going to get hurt."

"No I'm not."

"You think you're going to be with Scorpius forever? You think you're just going to go through the rest of your life with only him? You think he'll go through the rest of his life with just you? Are you kidding me? How idealistic do you need to be? I thought you were a Slytherin."

Lily's stomach churned.

"You're wrong," she said. "You are so wrong."

"Am I, Lily?"

"Yes."

3

Lily sat silently between Al and Jim. Jim had told Al what had happened. Al hadn't exploded yet, but Lily could see him waiting for the right moment. Neither had told her parents, which she was endlessly grateful for. Of course, that would probably change when this whole thing was over.

It was uncomfortable, sitting still so long and listening about the life of one her best friends. All around her, she could identify various faces from Hogwarts and around Diagon Alley. A few members of the ministry were revealed by their uniforms. She could hear Vicky sniffling in the row behind them, Flora noisily shifting uncomfortably next to her. Al and Jim sat as stiff as boards.

Lily couldn't focus on what the speaker was saying, something about how noble Teddy was. The words were inconsequential; they didn't matter. The gestures he made were pointless. Punctuating a dead man's life can only go so far.

The only thing Lily could adequately think of was that he was, indeed, dead. This made it official. He wasn't going to miraculously come gallivanting through the door. He wasn't going to show up at the annual barbeque at the end of August. He wasn't going to be around for Christmas. He wasn't going to see Flora off to Hogwarts. He just wasn't going to be there anymore.

His had been a pointless death, she knew. The thought made her sick. He didn't have to die. He didn't have to go and become a part of the auror department. He didn't have to risk his life. But he did. And why? So he could save others. It wasn't a foreign thought…it was just uncomfortable. She didn't even know what he had been doing. She wished she could lean over and ask her father; he would know.

The odd thing was, as pointless as his death was, it was also indescribably noble. All around her, people were paying respects to this self-sacrificing man, who gave up his livelihood and future for the livelihood and future of everyone else. Without his death, who knows what life would really be like? The emotions were like those of the Second War, she supposed. His death, like their deaths. This was as close as the modern wizard would get to that kind of honorable experience. An auror was probably the most important role in the modern world, the most useful, the most respected, the most everything. The best.

The eulogy ended. His remains were buried in the churchyard next to his parents. Her father said a few words. Lily didn't hear them. Her brothers said a few words. Lily didn't hear them. Her uncles and aunts said a few words. Lily didn't hear them. All she heard was the cacophony of honor, the noble burial of a hero, the din of glory.

As she walked away, her brows furrowed at the memory of Teddy, she was full of purpose.


	36. Chapter 36

"Why so serious, wild flower?" Scorpius asked, putting down the ice cream on the table.

"I've just been thinking," she said, grabbing her spoon.

"What about?"

"Teddy…life…everything."

"Getting a better idea of what you're going to tell Wolfe when you get back to Hogwarts?"

"I…I think I want to become an auror."

"No," Scorpius said firmly.

"What do you mean?" Lily was offended; this is what she wanted to do. She put her spoon down and stared at him, willing to defend her position.

"Do you even know what you'll be sacrificing?" he asked, a bit gentler than before. "You won't have any time for friends, or a social life, or your family, or…or creating a family. Your life will be your job. Do you really want to sacrifice everything for that?"

Lily stared at him, silent; did he just mention something about making a family? Did he mean with him, or in general?

"If you become an auror, you'll be put through vigorous training. It'll change you. It'll make you someone you aren't. You'll spend months in seclusion. I…I won't be able to see you at all. I'm not sure…I'm not sure I could live like that." His voice was low, almost pained, his eyes reflecting his inner turmoil. "I need you, Lily."

She looked away from his eyes, his gaze intense. She didn't like to see him like this, so pained, so tortured. And it was over her. No one had ever said that to her before. He needed her. Just the thought made her heart skip a beat. She reached out and put her hand on his.

"I suppose I need to think about it some more," she said. "If…if that's what you really think…"

"It is."

"Ok."

He smile sheepishly and picked up his spoon.

"There are tons of other things you can do," he said, balancing a pile of ice cream on the end of his spoon. "I'm sure you'll find something else."

"I know."

3

Lily couldn't sleep. She blamed the heat; it was particularly humid and at nearly ninety-four degrees Fahrenheit. On nights like this, who could love summer? She could hear a sleepless Flora playing in the room next to hers.

She crept down the stairs, silent. Maybe there was some cold water she could drink or something. Her father was sitting at the table, flipping through the previous day's issue of _The Prophet._ Lily poured herself a glass of water and sat across from him.

"Dad, what does it take to become an auror?"

He looked up from his newspaper, his eyes wide.

"An auror? Is that…is that what you're thinking about?"

"I…I think so. Just don't tell mum."

"It's a lot of work, you know."

"I know."

"And you're going to need quite a bit of N.E.W.T.s."

"I know."

"And, at least for the first few years, the job is your life, with all your training and beginning assignments and all."

"I know."

"And you won't be able to get pregnant. Because if you're anything like your mother, you'll want to stay home, and then your entire career will be uprooted."

"I…I know."

"And you probably won't have a very active social life. You'll be too tired."

"But…you have a family."

"I also have your mother. She's the only reason any of this works, really."

"So…if I found a guy…"

"What did Scorpius say about all this?"

"He…he doesn't want me to. He's afraid, I think."

"It makes sense. A man after your mother's heart, though."

Lily grinned and sipped her water. The cold liquid felt good going down her throat, chilling her blood.

"Do…do you think I could do it?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"Of the three of you, you are the only one who I think could do it. Jim likes to fool around too much and Al is bound too much to books. You…you have a certain disregard for the rules that is required of an auror, and that calculating nature that makes Sytherins excellent aurors."

Lily stared at her father, speechless. She had not expected that.

"I suppose I should be getting to bed," her father said, standing up. "I have an early day tomorrow."

3

"Hold your nose."

Scorpius dunked her completely under water. She floundered for a few minutes, trying to push off the larger body. Finally regaining her balance she looked around. Scorpius was standing in front of her, laughing. She had a quick sinking feeling, as if something wasn't right.

Teddy always dunked her like that.

"Don't do that again," she said angrily and sunk back into the salty water.

"Oh, come on, Lily," Scorpius said, standing next to her.

"What are you even doing here?"

"This is a public beach, you know."

"Shove it and leave me alone."

"Why are you in such a bad mood?"

"It's hot."

"Is that it?"

"It's humid."

"Yeah, I suppose it is. Do you dye your hair?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Is your hair supposed to be red?"

"How did you know that?" She glared at him.

"Your roots are showing."

Lily groaned and deeper into the water. Usually she didn't dye it during the summer; she let it grow a bit and then Rose dyed it back before Hogwarts for her. Who was she trying to impress over the summer?

"I think you should let it go back to its original color," he suggested.

"Absolutely not."

"Oh, come on. Why not?"

"It's too…Gryffindor. I hate it. It doesn't look Slytherin at all."

"You just don't like it because it makes you look like your mum."

"It doesn't matter why."

"The only thing that does matter is why."

"I just like it better. It's more…me than the red. You know?"

"No, I don't. I think red suits your perfectly." He reached out and grabbed a lock of her hair, twirling it in his fingers.

"Lucky for me your opinion does not matter all that much. My hair is black. That's how I like it. You can't get me to change it. Ever."

He put his hand behind her head and kissed her.

"Oi!" Jim shouted, throwing a ball at the back of Scorpius's head. Flora giggled loudly.

"Oi to you, too!" Scorpius shouted back.

"Public place, little children; keep it G, will you?"

Scorpius reluctantly backed off, but kept his hand in hers.

"What are we going to do in Hogwarts?" he asked. "I don't think I'm going to be able to keep my hands off of you, m'dear."

"I think the question is where. A broom closet, maybe."

"Yeah…look…I need to tell you that my dad knows about us and…what we've done."

"What?" She stood up, her hand slipping from his.

"He won't tell anyone. He didn't mind. I swear. Ok? I asked him not to tell your parents. He chuckled, which basically is his way of saying ok. Alright? I just thought I should tell you, so you know why he looks at you all funny."

"Merlin, Scorpius." She sunk back into the water, staring at the sky. "Do you…do you think this'll last?"

"Yes," he said forcefully, surprising Lily with his vigor. "I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else, as terrible as that sounds. I love you, Lily, and nothing will change that."

"Even…even if I become an auror?"

He was silent for a moment, his lips pursed together as if he was eating something sour. Lily bit her lip.

"I said nothing, didn't I? But please promise me you'll look into other career paths before settling on that one?"

"Of course."


	37. Chapter 37

Lily stared at her father, who was staring at her Hogwarts letter, his jaw slack. Her mum stood over his shoulder, her hands on her belly beginning to bulge and glancing between the letter and Lily. Lily bit her lip, not knowing if this was a good awe or a bad one. Al walked behind their father, glanced at the letter, and his face went pale.

"How the bloody hell did you do that?" Al demanded, grabbing the papers out of his father's hand. "You managed to get nine O.W.L.s! All of them but a History of Magic at least exceeds expectations? What did you do?"

"What?" Lily started at him, grabbing at the papers. Al held them above his head. That couldn't be right. She knew she messed up in potions, and her little transfiguration project did not go as anticipated but was not a total failure.

"What the bloody hell? How did you cheat?"

"I didn't cheat."

"Then how do you explain this? You barely passed your classes this year at all."

"I…I don't know."

Lily looked at the page. She received exceeds expectations in care for magical creatures, astronomy, and herbology, and outstandings in transfiguration, potions, charms, and defense against the dark arts. History of magic was abysmal, though.

"They…they put me in N.E.W.T. classes for all those I got an outstanding. But…why didn't they put me in herbology? I need to get into herbology, don't I, dad?" She looked at her father, her eyes wide. She thought this would condemn her to a life of ministry work. But…all her doors were unlocked and open.

"Owl Neville; I'm sure he'll make an exception."

"Alright; I'll do it in a bit."

"Why do you want to get into herbology?" her mum asked, sitting down next to her father and looking at the letter. "You can get into many good jobs with those N.E.W.T.s."

"I…"

"You what?" Her mum looked up at her, her eyes piercing through Lily's exterior, making her feel like she was made of flimsy paper.

"I'm…I'm thinking about becoming an auror."

Al dropped a cup on the floor.

"You what?" Al demanded. "No. Absolutely not."

"Albus!" her father snapped.

"You put her up to this, didn't you?" her mum said, her voice trembling.

"Lily, go write that letter now. Albus, go do something," her father ordered. Taking the Hogwarts letter, she slipped upstairs, conscious of her mum beginning to cry.

3

"Hey, you," Scorpius said, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

"I don't want to go home," she admitted, putting her head against his chest. "No one will talk to me."

"Why not?"

"I suggested I wanted to become an auror. My dad's fine with it…but forget about my mum and brothers."

"So is that what you decided on?"

"I…I don't know. I know what you think of it, and I'm…I'm not happy with that, but I can take all the N.E.W.T. courses for it, and I want to take them. Just in case. And if not, then there are plenty of other jobs I can get with them that has nothing to do with hunting dark wizards."

"That is true."

"They just don't get it."

"So what'd you have in mind if you aren't going home?"

She looked up at him, a mischievous grin on her face.

"If your father doesn't have a problem with it," she said, gently rubbing his chest. "I wouldn't mind…having a bit of fun with you."

"Really?"

"Really."

3

"Merlin, Lily; you're an hour late!" Uncle Ron declared. "And you look like you just rolled out of bed."

"Because I did," she said, unable to keep a grin from her lips.

"I don't know what you're smirking at, but get to work."

Lily leaned against the counter and started reading through the black book of products.

"Look attentive, girl," Ron demanded.

"Yes, Uncle Ron."

"And try to do something with that hair of yours, will you?"

"Yes, Uncle Ron." She pulled her hair back in a hair elastic.

"And why, for Merlin's sake, are you so happy? I should dock your pay."

"That's fine; I was late."

"Damn," Rose said, shaking her head. "You got some last night, huh?" She sat down next to Lily behind the counter.

"How do you…?"

"Hugo."

"How does…?"

"Al."

"I'm going to kill him."

"I don't think anyone who can make your life miserable knows."

"Not that it would matter; my family's already pissed at me."

Rose quickly took care of a customer.

"Yeah, but if your parents knew, they'd put you on house arrest."

"I know. Mr. Malfoy knows."

"He does?"

"He doesn't care, though, and agreed not to tell my parents."

"Well that's good."

"It's kind of weird, really. I ran into him this morning on my way out of the bathroom. You should haveseen the shock on his face when he saw me in his son's clothes. I thought he was going to piss his pants. I just hope he hasn't changed his mind."

"So you two are pretty serious, huh?"

"Yep."

Rose snapped her bubblegum and took care of another customer.

"I suppose we're going to have to keep this from Vicky?" Rose asked.

"Uh…I don't know. I mean, she said she expected me to have some fun, but I don't know if she really meant it or not."

"Alright, then."

"Lily!" her dad yelled.

"That does not sound good," Rose muttered, getting from behind the counter.

"Where the bloody hell were you last night?" her dad continued, storming up to her behind the counter.

"I…I was at Kelsie's."

"No you weren't. I owled Kelsie. She's in Jamaica."

Lily lowered her head; what was she going to tell him? The truth? No.

"Dad…I just…I just needed some time alone. I mean, mum keeps giving me these dirty looks every time I enter a room, and she looks like she wants to kill me! I can't handle too much of that…not from my own mother. And then Al gets all 'I can't believe you'd do that to mum. She's pregnant, you know.' That doesn't make me feel much better. And all the while, I don't even know if I actually am going to become an auror. I can do almost anything with those N.E.W.T.s, and they're just assuming that I'll try to become an auror. It's…it's unbearable. I want them to support me, you know? I thought mum would be happy for me getting so many O.W.L.s."

"She didn't even know you were struggling with school, you know."

"I…I don't know. I'm sorry. I…I probably should have told you."

"So where were you?"

"I…" Lily glanced nervously around the room, wondering if there would be an escape. "I broke into the Shrieking Shack."

"Oh, Lily," her dad said, sighing. "If you ever want time alone, just let me know, and I'll figure something out. Maybe visit Vicky or something."

"Yeah, alright."

"And don't run away to the Shreiking Shack again, ok?"

"Alright, dad."

"I'll see you at the house later?"

"Yeah; I'll be back for dinner."

"Aright; I'll see you then."

He kissed her lightly on the top of the head and left.

"You just gave your father a bold-faced lie," Rose murmured, awe evident in her tone.

"I was serious about my mum and Al. I just…fibbed about my location."

"You're terrible."

3

AN: Sorry if this chaps' a bit sloppier than the others. Just got back from a lock-in. Brain's kind of doing this muddled, sleep deprived sort of thing. If only Monty would stop sulking in the corner -- stupid muse, I get him on the schedule and then he complains about being hungry…


	38. Chapter 38

Lily stared at her book list, biting her lip. She did not want to buy any books. Al had given her a transfiguration, charms, and potions book. Hugo had a defense against dark arts volume. All that was left was herbology and, for some odd reason, divination. Why the headmistress thought that was a good idea was beyond her. Why even Firenze allowed it was further from her understanding.

"Ah, Lily," Scorpius said, a cherry lollipop in his hand. "I have the book."

"Herbology or divination?"

"Which do you think?"

"Herbology."

"I took it from Aeolus, so if you see anything questionable…that's who it's from."

"Thanks."

"So are we getting books now?"

"Yeah."

Lily tucked her new herbology book under her arm and went into Flourish and Blotts. Scorpius immediately was side tracked by a display of books on the new legislation recently passed by the ministry. Lily shook her head, amused by her boyfriend's interests, and slipped into the section for divination. Ah, here was the book. She slipped it off the shelf and tucked it under arm. Where had Scorpius gone?

"Scorpius?"

"Yes?"

He was behind her. She spun around.

"Do you have your books?" she asked, glancing at the pile of tomes in his hand.

"Yep. Let me have yours."

Lily held it up so he could see it.

"That looks extraordinarily boring. Let me buy it for you."

"No, that's alright."

"Look, Lily, I've avoided buying you much of anything during our relationship."

"Yeah?" She grinned at him, wondering how true that was.

"Yeah. I'm a Malfoy. We show affection through things. You know that."

"I think you've done a good job of showing me affection through other means."

"Well…yes…but that's besides the point. I want to buy you something, and with you being the frugal scrooge you are, it has to be something you need. So give it up."

"Fine," Lily sighed, putting the book on top of his pile. He nodded seriously and bought them. He came back, wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and they went to Olivander's.

"Why're we here?" Lily asked.

"I just need to get a book," he said.

"We were just at Flourish and Blotts."

"It's not that kind of book."

"What kind of a book is it, then?"

"You'll see. Ah, Mr. Olivander."

The elderly, old, decrepit, gnarled old man came out from behind the desk, his glasses making his eyes seem twice their size.

"Yes…yes…young Malfoy…let's see…here….here's your book…I think you'll…I think you'll like it," he said, his speech slow and his voice weak. Scorpius took the thick, worn book with a look of reverence on his face. Lily smiled, adoration swelling inside of her. He really was quite the wand connoisseur.

"It's by Gregorovitch?" Scorpius asked, beginning to flip through the book.

"It's in Bulgarian," Olivander said. "I hope that won't be….a problem."

"Not at all," Scorpius said, a smile on his face.

"Good, good, good….I hope you enjoy it. There is much to learn in that…that book." Olivander patted Scorpius on the arm. "You'll do good with this book, and you'll do good by me."

"Of course, sir. I will."

"Good….good. I ought to be getting back work, boy. Keep yourselves safe and keep your hands off this girl. Quite a powerful wand she's got."

"I know that very well, sir; she's hexed me quite well once."

"And it was good?"

"Gave me a bloody nose with a bat boogie hex."

"Oooh….quite impressive, dear…quite impressive indeed. Great things are ahead of you…great things indeed."

"Thank you, Mr. Olivander," she said sheepishly.

"We'd better be going; we still need to get potions ingredients, and I need a new set of dragonhide gloves."

He wrapped his arm again around Lily and they left together.

"I didn't know you could speak Bulgarian," she said, gazing at his strong face.

"I have cousins that live there."

"Where don't you have cousins?"

"China, the United States, and I don't think any live on Africa."

"That's…quite a spread."

"Yeah, I mean, there are exceptions, but between the Malfoys and Greengrasses, we're spread all over the place."

"Have you been to all those places?"

"Most of them. My mum doesn't like us going to the war-torn countries, so we don't."

"Have you ever thought about opening a shop in another country?" she asked him, wrapping her arm around his waist.

"No. I don't want to leave England. I love it too much. I mean, other countries are alright, but…I just love England more."

"You'd think you were a Gryffindor the way you talked," she teased.

"That and most other countries have a fairly young wandmaker on their hands. Olivander is the only one getting ready to close up shop."

Lily laughed; that sounded more like the ambitions of a Slytherin. He just smiled at her.

3

Lily's father stared at her, a serious look on his face. Her mum paced back and forth, one hand on her lower back, the other massaging her temples. Lily sat there, looking back at them, her jaw clenched.

Albus had told them.

"How could you?" her mum said, her voice strained. "You're only sixteen! How could you go off and have sex with someone?"

"It's not just someone," Lily defended.

"No, you're right. It's a Malfoy," her father replied.

"You're the one that's all buddy-buddy with his father!" Lily said.

"I am not having sex with him!" her father hollered.

"I'm going to kill Al," Lily muttered.

"No, you aren't. You're going to sit here and explain why you did it."

"Because I wanted to! I don't have to defend myself to you. I'm not a kid."

"Evidently you are if you think it's ok to go off and shag whoever you want," her mum snapped.

"I am old enough to know when something is or is not appropriate."

"No you aren't."

"When was the first time you two did it?"

"That was different," her mum said quickly.

"How was that different? You were sixteen, weren't you?"

"It's irrelevant."

"No it isn't! Why can you make those decisions when you were my age, but I can't?"

"It was a completely different time, with completely difference expectations, and under completely different circumstances," her father said.

"Oh, so you could decide whether or not you were going to try and kill yourself, but you couldn't decide whether or not you could have sex?"

"Lily…"

"Don't sit there and tell me that I'm not smart enough or intelligent enough or wise enough or good enough to make this choice! I've already made it, ok? And there isn't anything that can be done to change it!"

"Lily…"

"No! I'm not listening to you anymore. Next year, I'll be of age. Then what? Are you going to tell me I need to obey by your stupid rules? Is that what'll happen?"

"While you live under our roof, you will obey our rules!" her mum shouted.

"What? You don't trust me?"

"No, we don't," her father said sharply. "You told us you were at Kelsie's, and then you told me you were at the Shreiking Shack. You lied. You lost our trust."

"You would have done the same thing!"

"What you did was wrong, Lily," her father said rather calmly. "You're grounded for the rest of vacation."

"What? That's ludicrous! Vicky did the same thing, and she wasn't punished! Rose has shagged Greg more times than Flora can count, and she's still free! I've spent two nights with Scorpius and I'm being condemned?"

"Wait…Rose and Greg?" her father said. "No, never mind, that's irrelevant. The real problem here is that you said you would be in one place, and were actually in another."

Lily crossed her arms and narrowed her gaze. She was going to kill Al.

"Go to your room; you're grounded for the rest of the summer."

"This is ridiculous!" Lily stood up, unable to contain her rage. She was supposed to meet up with Alex and Kelsie for their annual end of summer rampage through Diagon Alley this weekend.

"You will show up for work, and leave from work and come straight here. Your Uncles will be watching you. You will go to the end of the summer picnic, and that's it. Nothing else. Work and family events. That's all. Got it?" her father said, his voice little more than a growl.

"But…"

"Go to your room!" he yelled. "I don't want to see you out of it!"


	39. Chapter 39

"What the bloody hell did you think you were doing? Telling your parents about me and Greg! I thought we had an agreement!" Rose said, trying desperately to keep her voice down.

"I don't know," Lily muttered. "I'm sorry. I just…I thought it might take their focus off of me for a moment, put things in perspective."

"And did it?"

"No."

"You're hopeless! I can't believe you did that!"

"Al did the same thing to me, so don't think you're the only one that was stabbed in the bloody back."

"I should've expected as much from a Slytherin."

"Whatever."

"I'm going to kill you. Painfully."

"That's exactly what I said to Al."

"Yeah, the only difference is that I can kill you painfully."

"Rose…come on…"

"No! I'm not going to 'come on'. I have to move out now!"

"Weren't you going to move out, anyway?"

"Well…yes…but that's besides the point…"

"Whatever, here's a customer."

3

Lily sat on a rock, her knees drawn to her chest, and looked out over the ocean behind Shell Cottage. She didn't want to talk to anyone. No one wanted to talk with her. Tomorrow, she was going back to Hogwarts and everything would be back to normal; Scorpius would be there, her wand would be there, magic would be there. It would be fine.

Vicky sat next to her. That was the last person she wanted to talk to.

"You're an idiot," she said, shaking her head. "You shouldn't have told Jim."

"I didn't. He guessed."

"And you told him he was right."

Flora screamed from the lawn, excited about something.

"I'm not going to sit here and tell you I'm disappointed. I knew you were going to. I guess…I guess I'm just surprised at how much of a Slytherin you really are."

Lily felt her cheeks burn and anger bubble within her.

"There's no reason for you to bring up my house," Lily said sharply.

"I think there is. The whole manipulation, lying, backstabbing thing is a Slytherin trait. You know it is. Don't pretend like it isn't. Jim was just looking out for you, and Al is a mama's boy."

"Oh, come on. We both know you lied about your whereabouts on more than one occasion."

"However, when I was busted, I just accepted it. You came up with a back-up on the spot, using your father's trust and compassion."

"How do you even know this? You weren't even there."

"I have my sources. Besides, I've known you since before you were born."

Lily rested her chin on her knees and looked out over the ocean, the moon hanging low in the sky.

"Do you really love him?" Vicky asked.

Lily glanced over at her. She was looking out over the ocean, an introspective look on her face.

"I wouldn't have had sex with him if I didn't," Lily said.

"I need to hear you say it."

"I…I love him."

"Does he love you?"

"Yes."

"Has he told you?"

"Yes."

"Do you think you'll last?"

"Yes."

"I'm happy for you, Lil."

"What?"

She had not expected that. Vicky stood up and left.

"Are you coming?" she said. "I think Hugo just lit the fire."

"What did you mean by that?" Lily demanded, scrambling up the slope after Vicky.

"Just come on before Fred eats all the marshmallows."

3

Lily looked around the platform; where was he? He was supposed to have been there earlier, Headboy of Slytherin this year. She couldn't see over the boys around her, all of them got taller over the summer.

"Lily!" Alexander Zabini waved her down. He had filled out over the summer, getting taller and broader through the shoulder. Kelsie was standing next to him, her hand securely around his waist. Evidently Alex had won the public affection war.

"Hello," Lily said, giving Kelsie a brief squeeze. "Have you two seen Scorpius?"

"I think he's over there talking with Hugo," Alex said, pointing in the direction toward the train. Sure enough, Lily could see the blond and the redhead, neither of them wearing smiles, both of them with red faces. Hugo had his hand balled at his side.

"I should go take care of that," she said, slipping through the crowd. Lily wrapped her arm tightly around Scorpius's waist. She missed the feel of his body against hers.

"Hey, Scorpius," she said, leaning into his body.

"Hey, wild flower. Look, Hugo, I understand, but this isn't of any concern to you."

"I think you're wrong," Hugo said, his voice tense.

"If my duties as Slytherin Headboy are in jeopardy, fine. I'll let you intervene. But until that time, please keep off. Do you understand?" Scorpius's voice was low, unwavering, serious. He meant business.

"Hugo!" Albus called from farther down the platform. "I found the new prefects!"

"Fine, Scorpius. But I swear, if you hurt her…"

"I won't."

Hugo shook his head and trotted toward Albus.

"So I hear you've been on probation?" Scorpius asked, wrapping his arm around Lily.

"Yeah. I missed you."

She reached up and put her hands behind his head, standing on her toes. He chuckled and bent down to kiss her.

"Your family really is protective," he said, playing with her hair.

"I know. Hugo's always been like a brother…and Al and James inherited it from my uncles."

"We should probably get onboard." He grabbed her trunk and pulled it after him with ease. "Did you read the pamphlet I sent you?"

"Yep."

"What'd you think?"

"Filch has lost his marbles."

"I know. I don't know what he's thinking, trying to ban joke products like that. It might work for awhile, but people are going to smuggle them in."

"Lou will. I have no doubt about that. Roxy might, too."

"Tim's going to have a fun time with his prefects in Gryffindor."

Lily held Scorpius's trunk while he fastened hers in place. He did his and the pair of them sat down. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"I love you, Scorpius," she said.

"I love you, too." He ran his hands through her hair, a grin on his face. "I really like your red hair. Promise me you won't change it back?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Please, Scorpius, I really don't want to fight with about something so trivial."

"Alright, alright." He shifted and kissed her, pushing her back against the seat and leaning over her.

"We can't do this here," she muttered, trying to push him off. "Someone will walk in."

"I guess you're right."

He kissed once more on the lips and sat up. Lily bit her lip, genuinely wishing they hadn't been on the train. Anywhere else, and she would have gone for it. And she wanted him so bad right now, too.

The other prefects filed in and Scorpius began his introductions.

3

Lily lied down on her bed and stared at the ceiling. She loved the dull sound of water rushing overhead that you could hear at night in the Slytherin dormitories. She could hear some of her girls laughing and giggling through the walls, becoming acclimated with each other after their time apart. It was normal. The first night, she would let them stay up late. It was always how it was.

There was a knock on her door.

Pulling herself out of the comfort of her bed, she answered it. Scorpius was there, in only his pajamas. Without saying anything, he grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her, fervor in his eyes she matched.

Lily locked the door.

3

AN: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, guys, honest. I think there's 'bout five or so chapters left and I'm getting nervous that y'all won't like it. Well…I suppose there's only one way to find out if you really do or not…


	40. Chapter 40

Scorpius stared at Lily all through breakfast. Every now and then, Lily glanced at him and smiled in his direction. She struggled to pay attention to Alexander and his utter enthusiasm about his classes this year.

"Merlin, Lily," Kelsie muttered. "How are you going to focus while drooling over Malfoy?"

"I'm not drooling over anyone," Lily insisted, staring at her plate.

"Don't lie; you're terrible at it," Alexander said.

"And your cheeks are redder than Hugo's hair," Kelsie added.

"Shove it."

Kelsie chuckled.

"You really do need to be careful, though," Alexander said. "Wolfe might catch on."

"And then both of you'll be busted."

"Badly."

"And then both of you'll have detention."

"And it doesn't look good for Slytherin officials to have detention."

"I know, alright?" Lily interrupted them.

It was Alex's turn to chuckle.

"Come on," Kelsie said. "We're going to be late for potions."

3

Lily watched Scorpius in the library. They were studying together. Scorpius said it helped him focus. Lily found it distracted her, but didn't want him to be terribly lost without her. She was halfway through her potions assignment, anyway; she wasn't being completely unproductive.

A girl came up to him, a younger student, and started flirting. Who did she think she was? Flirting with her boyfriend? Jealousy surged within her. He was oblivious to her advances, playing into her plot. Lily clenched her teeth. He laughed. How could he laugh at her? Didn't he know she was just trying to get in his pants? No…she sighed. He didn't know. He didn't know. She couldn't be angry with him. The girl put a hand on his chest. He pulled away uneasily, but not awkwardly. He needed her help. Lily stood up and went over to them.

"Hey, can I help you?" she said, wrapping her arm possessively around Scorpius.

"Oh…are you two…?" the Hufflepuff said, her cheeks red.

"Yes," Lily said quickly.

"Oh…well, I'll…I'll see you tomorrow, Scorpius," she said and scampered off out of the library. Lily watched her go, her body tense.

"She's harmless, you know," Scorpius said, amusement evident in his tone. "I wouldn't dream of letting her have me."

"I don't care," Lily said, her voice taut. "No one should look at my man like that."

"Don't worry about it," Scorpius said, rubbing her arm. "I won't cheat on you."

"I know…I just…you're mine."

"You know how cute you get when you're all possessive?" He kissed her lightly on the top of the head before sitting down to study again.

3

Lily slipped her Harpies sweatshirt over her head and slid into the common room, her herbology, potions, and divination books tucked under one arm with six scrolls of parchment, a bottle of ink, and several quills under the other. It was time to work.

"Do you mind if I work here?" Lily asked to a couple third years.

"Sure, Lily," Jackie replied, her blond hair pulled back.

The sixth year unceremoniously dumped her things on the unused half of the table and started whittling away at the series of essays she had to do. Firenze was considerably more difficult than Trelawny; she never had to write papers for Trelawny, but Firenze? It seemed he gave them one every week. She hated writing. Evidently she had not inherited her mum's writing skills. Figures, the one she actually wouldn't mind having…

"Is it true you dye your hair?" Jackie asked.

Lily's quill dragged across the parchment, finishing the sentence.

"Who told you that?" Lily muttered, starting up a new paragraph.

She had momentum; if she stopped, it would take half an hour to get her going again. Lily could feel Jackie's shrug and the other two third-years exchange glances.

"Do you?" Sarah, sitting to the right of Jackie, pressed.

"Perhaps. What's it to you?" Lily clamped her lip between her teeth, focusing on not losing her concentration.

"What's your natural color?" Petra, the one to the left of Jackie, asked.

"Red like James's," Lily answered casually.

"James?"

"Like Hugo."

"Hugo?"

"Like Louis."

"Louis?"

"Like Lucy."

"Lucy?"

"Do you know any Weasleys?"

"Oh." The three of them started to giggle.

"What's so funny?" Lily demanded.

"You with red hair!" Jackie burst.

The entire common room quieted and turned in their direction.

"Hey, guys!" Petra shouted. "Did you all know Lily has red hair?"

"Yeah," more than half the common room replied, all of them older students. The younger students started laughing. Lily gritted her teeth and dipped her quill in her ink. Why did her girls have to be so annoying?

"Why do you dye it?" Sarah asked, staring at Lily shamelessly.

"Why do you think?"

"Sarah -- a Slytherin can't have red hair," Petra explained. "It's so…Gryffindor."

"Thank you," Lily said; finally, someone understood.

"But Tempest has red hair."

"Tempest can pull it off without looking like a Weasley," Lily muttered.

They started giggling again, this time occasionally interrupted by muttering. Lily glanced up. They had their heads together. Bloody hell, they were planning something. Lily had a sinking feeling; this would not end well.

3

"Lily," Professor Wolfe sighed, staring at his prefect with a narrow gaze. "Have you given any thought to your future?"

"Some," Lily admitted.

"And?"

"And I haven't come to a conclusion yet."

"Miss Potter, I would suggest you get started on coming to a conclusion.

"I'm working on it, sir."

"If you don't give us an idea of where you want to go, then how're we going to set you up with the proper networking for when you graduate?"

"I suppose you won't."

"That's right, we won't. And then what will you do?"

"Well, I'll probably work with my uncles for awhile until I actually figure it out, and then go from there."

"That can get very messy, Lily."

"I know."

"I need a straight answer."

"I know."

"You're dismissed.'

3

Lily rolled out of bed and mindlessly pulled her hair back. She loved Saturdays. Without thinking, she slipped into her favorite pair of jeans -- blessedly clean this weekend -- and slid into her Harpies sweatshirt that she still hadn't grown into, the hood protecting her head from the chill that pervaded the Slytherin house during the fall and winter months. She took a deep breath and dug her hands in her pockets.

What time was it? Eight? Still early. She trudged through the common room, ignoring the **s**tares from some of the third years. Sometimes, they just got on her nerves. She didn't even know what it was with the third years. She didn't have a problem with her fourth or fifth years. Just the third years.

She emerged from the dungeons and slid into the Great Hall. Merlin, breakfast smelled good. She down next to Scorpius and started eating some eggs.

"When're we going to Hogsmeade?" Lily asked and sipped her tea.

"I don't know; do you have anything you need to do today?" Scorpius muttered, glancing at her. "Why's your hood up?"

"I'm cold," Lily muttered. "And I'm good to go whenever."

"Alright. When you're doing eating?"

"Hiking to the Shreiking Shack?"

"Of course."

They finished quickly, both of them in silent agreement to get to their destination as soon as possible. They snuck back to the common room for a second to get their boots and gloves; from what Alexander had been hinting at all week, the trek was going to be pretty snowy. Not that either of them minded. The more difficult the better. It just made the destination all that more enjoyable.

Hand in hand, they walked down the path to Hogsmeade in companionable silence. They walked through Hogsmeade, passing by the Three Broomsticks and the Weasley joke shop. Routinely, they stopped at Honeydukes, grabbed some chocolate, and slipped up the rest of the hill to the Shrieking Shack.

Lily was honestly surprised at how cold it was. She was not expecting this. Her breath rose in clouds in front of her and she had to put on her gloves even when they were lodged in her sweatshirt pocket. She kept her hood up, conserving as much heat as possible as she stood next to Scorpius, staring at the wooden structure almost visibly trembling in the cold.

"Maybe we should just go to the Three Broomsticks," he said, his arms wrapped around himself.

"You're such a baby," Lily said, nudging into him, unable to control her grin.

"Yeah?"

"Oh yeah."

"Then you'd better warm me up, if we aren't going inside."

He cupped her head in his hands and kissed her, the warmth immediately surging through her body. He really did know what buttons to push. She reached up and put her hands behind his head, pulling him down until the pair of them were laying on the ground.

"Your hair is so soft," she murmured, ruffling his blond hair. "Like a kitten."

Scorpius just grinned and kissed her again. He put his hands under her hood and flipped it back. His face fell for a second, his eyes widened. Lily's heart sunk; something was wrong.

"What?" she asked.

"It's…I wasn't expecting that," he said, running his hands through her hair.

"Weren't expecting what?"

Lily sat up, wondering what he was getting at.

"Your hair," he said, a large grin spreading across his countenance. "I really do like it." He leaned in to kiss her again, but Lily pulled away.

"What are you talking about?" she demanded, holding him at bay.

"You died your hair back," he said, fingering a piece of her pony tail.

"What? No I didn't."

"Someone did, then. Because your hair is definitely red."

"What?" Lily scrambled to her feet and yanked her hair out of its restraints. She grabbed a bit of it and pulled it in front of her eyes. It was red. And not the dull red she would have died it if forced. Bright orange red -- Weasley red -- her natural color. "Bloody hell! Who did this? Probably those damned third years! I'm going to kill them! Kill them, Scorpius!"

"Hey, Lily, come on. It isn't that bad," Scorpius said, grabbing her shoulders and keeping her from storming down the path to Hogsmeade.

"No," Lily said sharply. "It is. Not only did they dye my freaking hair without asking me, they invaded my personal property."

"You don't know that. It might just be a simple spell."

"It's not a simple spell," Lily snapped and pulled away from him. Irate, she marched down to Hogsmeade, full of vengeful anger. Someone was going to pay for this. Lily would make sure of it.

3

AN: Just so y'all know, I'm going to do a rapid-fire style updating over the next few days to get this out there so I can relax for a bit. Probably one in the morning and one in the afternoon or evening. I just want the thing off my hard drive before it takes over my life any further.

Thanks for reading.


	41. Chapter 41

"Where are they?" Lily demanded, pinning Alex to the wall of the Three Broomsticks.

"Woah…what'd you do to your hair?"

"Where are they?" Lily aggressively repeated.

"Who?"

"Third years," she growled.

"Inside. Relax. What'd they do?"

Lily didn't answer, but let him go and went inside. As usual, it was packed with students, all of them in muggle clothes.

"Slythering third years!" she shouted over the murmur. The entire room turned to look at her. "Where the bloody hell are they?"

"The…the corner," a little Gryffindor said, pointing to the far corner.

Lily walked up to them. Sarah, Jackie, and Petra all stared at her, their mouths open.

"What did you do?" Lily yelled. All three of them looked scared out of their minds. "What the bloody hell did you do to me?"

"We just slipped a potion in with your shampoo…" Petra began.

"All it was supposed to do was wash out your dye…" Sarah continued.

"And it worked!" Jackie started laughing, clutching her stomach. "Oh, Merlin! No wonder why you dye your hair!"

Lily drew her wand and pointed it at the younger girl.

"If you think I won't hurt you just because you're a Slytherin and I'm a prefect, then you're sorely mistaken," Lily spat.

"Lily Potter!" Professor Wolfe said, grabbing her by the back of her sweatshirt and pulling her away from the other Slytherins. "What do you think you're doing, young lady?"

"They tampered with my personal effects!" Lily shouted. "Look at my hair!"

Some Gryffindors started laughing, finally recognizing the Slytherin prefect. Lily's face burned with embarrassment. Damn third years, setting her up like this.

"You three -- my office tonight at five," Professor Wolfe said sharply. "Lily, I understand you're upset, but please try to control yourself."

"I'm not upset!"

"Why don't you go and find something else to do, eh? And don't come back here. If I see you confronting them again, you will be disciplined. Take care of it in the common room, where house conflict ought to be taken care of. Got it?"

"Yes, sir," she mumbled and left.

"So what do you want to do?" Scorpius asked, wrapping his arm tightly around his girlfriend.

"Let's go bother my cousin at the shop."

3

Scorpius sat next to Lily in the common room, quickly pressing her against his body. He played with her hair. He had been doing that a lot lately. She leaned into him, inhaling his smell. She could smell some ink on him, and books -- he had been in the library while she took care of those third years.

"I have something to tell you," Scorpius said gently.

"What is it?" Lily asked, twisting her body so she could look at him.

"Do you remember about how we were talking about how we'll still be able to get together next year, during Hogsmeade trips and vacations?"

"Yeah. I'm still not sure I'll be able to do that. Why're you grimacing?" She sat up, pulling away from him; her heart skipped beat, recognizing something wasn't right. "What happened?"

"I need to go to Germany for a year," he admitted.

"No," she said. "You can't. How're…how's that going to…how're we…?"

"We won't be able to, wild flower."

"Scorpius!"

"I don't like it any more than you do."

"Why?"

"Wand making. Intensive studies. Usually, it takes at least four years to adequately learn it, but I've opted to do it all in one year, so I can get back here sooner and be with you. And when I come back, you'll be out of school. We can get an apartment and become reacclimated to each other." He ran his finger across her jaw.

"Why can't Olivander teach you?"

"He's too old. Not enough finesse left. I'm learning from the best. I probably won't be the best, but I'll be up there. And then, before I can open shop, I need to spend a few years stocking up on wands so I have something to sell. My father agreed to finance me during the stocking process and Aeolus promised me to help get the shop started."

"You're going to be gone for a whole year?"

"Yeah."

"No vacations?"

"I need to work through holidays to get it all done on time."

Lily sighed and leaned against him.

"I suppose we should spend as much time together, then, eh?" she asked, grabbing his hand.

He grinned and kissed her lightly on the forehead.

3

"Miss Potter."

"Professor Wolfe."

"It's almost Christmas."

"Yep."

"Have you come to a decision, yet?"

"Nope."

"Lily…"

"I just…I'm not sure what I want to do, ok? It's like…there's so many options. Can't I just, like, I don't know…take my N.E.W.T.s and go from there?"

"No. I want an answer when you come back from holiday."

"Fine."

3

"Did you lock the door, Skip?" Lily asked, warily glancing at his door.

"Course," he answered, quickly unbuttoning his shirt.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," he replied, brushing her hair out of her face.

She let her pants drop to the floor and played with his pants while he continued to kiss her.

The door opened.

"Scorpius! I don't get this!" a little voice said. "Merlin!"

"Fuck!" Lily shouted, quickly pulling up her pants. "I thought you said you locked the door!"

"I did! Damian, get your sorry ass in here!" Scorpius quickly put his pants back on.

The little first year slipped into Scorpius's room warily and lingered by the door.

"You will not tell a soul what you saw here, Damian," Scorpius growled. "If you do, you will get your mind wiped."

Lily held out her hand.

"I have a better way, Scorpius," Lily said. "Damian, my friend, do you like my uncle's joke products?"

His eyes widened and he nodded slowly.

"I will send you a big box of skiving snacks if you promise not to tell a soul. And if you do, not only will we wipe your mind, but we'll hurt you, too."

"Ok," the kid said.

"Now, leave," Scorpius said. "And knock next time."

Damian nodded and left, shutting the door behind him.

"You think he'll really keep quiet?" Scorpius said.

"With the box I'm going to give him? Of course," she muttered, dropping her pants again. "Shall we try this again?"

3

Lily snuggled against Scorpius in the train, her arms wrapped around his strong body, her cheek resting against his chest.

"So I'll see you in Diagon Alley, right?" she asked, looking up at him.

"I'm not going to be in England during vacation," Scorpius said sadly, petting her hair.

"Why not? I thought we were going to spend as much time as possible together before you have to go train in Germany!"

"I know, wild flower, but my family wants to spend time with me, too, evidently, so I need to go with them. It's just this once, I promise. Ok?"

"Alright; I'll let them have you once."

"Next time I'll bring you."

The thought sent chills down Lily's spine.

"You think?"

"I know."

Smiling and content, she fell asleep against him, exhausted from the traditional search for missing school items.


	42. Chapter 42

"So this is Felicity and Geoffrey?" Al asked, staring at the two little babies sleeping in their cribs.

"Yep," their mum said softly.

"Which is which again?" Jim asked.

"Felicity's the girl, Geoff's the boy," Lily replied spontaneously.

"Shove it, you," Jim said, clearly not appreciating her wit.

"Flick's got the red hair," their father explained. "Geoff the black."

"Why am I the only guy with red hair?" Jim huffed.

"Your hair has really darkened, though; it's more of an auburn," their mum said, ruffling her son's head.

"And mine won't stay red for long," Lily said.

"Why would you dye it back and then redye it again?" Al said.

"I already told you," she said defensively. "It was a prank from some of the third years."

"But red's such a good color," their father continued.

"For what? A cherry?" Lily said. "I tried it in first year and it just didn't feel right. I like the black a whole lot better."

"So are they noisy?" Al asked.

"Why are you asking?" their father said.

"They're babies, Al. Two month old babies. Of course they're noisy," Lily said.

"James, can I stay with you and Fred this vacation?" Al said.

"Absolutely not," their mum said. "James is staying here, anyway."

"What? Why?" Al demanded.

"And where?" Lily added.

"The office," James answered.

"I guess they're cute," Lily said, turning her attention back to the babies.

"Yeah, they are," Jim said, gently rubbing Geoff's belly. He opened his eyes sleepily and looked at everyone with wide, curious eyes. He stared at Lily in particular. Then started to cry.

"Oh, dear," their mum said, quickly scooping the baby in her arms and rocking it back and forth to get him to calm down.

"Well, it seems he doesn't like you very much, Lil," James muttered.

3

The babies lived up to their expectations, Lily supposed as she sat in her room, listening to both of them cry. Her mum trotted by her room and went into the nursery, her father right behind her. Lily doubted she would sleep well during vacation. Maybe she could convince Molly to let her stay overnight one day. She doubted her parents would allow it; they were still annoyed by the whole Scorpius thing.

It was going to be difficult, she thought, not seeing him for a few weeks. She would manage, though. Somehow. She already desperately wanted to see him. It was good practice for next year, though. Ugh. She didn't think she could do this for a year.

There was no point in sitting here in silence. She made her way downstairs and started making bread.

3

"Why do we have so much bread?" Jim asked, eating one of their grandmother's cinnamon buns.

"Is there a reason we shouldn't have bread?" Lily asked.

"Lily couldn't sleep," Al replied knowledgably.

"Oh, right; don't know why I didn't think of that," Jim muttered.

"Very funny," Lily said.

"Hey guys," Molly greeted, sitting next to Lily. "You don't look so good, Lil. And you dyed your hair back! Now you really look like a Weasley!"

"Back off about the hair, and I haven't been able to sleep," she replied. "The babies keep waking me up. Actually, I think it's just Geoff. Flick is fine."

"That's suck a cute name," Molly said. "Flick…Mum, why did you name me Molly?"

"Your father named you," Aunt Audrey replied, settling across from them.

"Flick would have Felix if she had been a boy," Al said casually.

"And Geoff would have been Guenevere," Jim chuckled.

"What would I have been if I had been a boy?" Molly asked.

"Arthur," Aunt Audrey said.

"I would have been Lily," James said proudly, grinning at his sister.

"I think I would have been…Lily because Jim was James," Al said. "And Lily would have been Evan."

"Are you sure?" Lily asked. "I don't even know where that name came from."

"Your namesake's maiden name," her father said, patting her lightly on the head.

"Oh," she said.

"Hurry up and go change, Lil," her father said. "The Longbottoms are going to be here soon."

3

The giving and receiving of gifts seemed a bit lackluster compared to the previous year. Perhaps that was because Lily hadn't actually given anyone a Christmas list, or maybe because she wasn't sitting next to the adorable Scorpius. It didn't really matter. She received everything she thought she would; a sweater, sweets, parchment, ink, a hexing book, a broom maintenance kit, and even some silver polish for her prefect bag.

There was also something she hadn't been expecting. A stuffed animal of a little blue dog. She knew immediately whose it had been. It was no secret. Teddy had dragged the ratty thing around with him from before he could walk until the end of Hogwarts. She stared at it, silent. Who had given that to her?

"Do you like my gift?" Flora asked, sheepishly clasping her hands behind her back.

"I love it," Lily said. "But you know…this…this should be yours."

"I want you to have it."

"Remmy belonged to your father, you know. He would want you to have it. I can't accept this."

Flora looked at her, a confused look on her face.

"You don't want it?"

"It's yours. Teddy…your father would want you to have it. You'll understand when you're older."

Flora took it, dejected, and sat by her mother. Vicky nodded approvingly at Lily. She wished she could have held onto that toy…but it wouldn't have been right.

"Time for dinner," her mum said, smiling at everyone.

Lily sat across from Molly, silent. She didn't want to be here right now. She wanted to go to bed, to fall asleep and to find reprieve there. She couldn't stand the dirty looks Flora was giving her or the approving glances the adults sent her way. She wished Teddy could have been there, to throw Flora into a snowbank and dig her out, to push Vicky into Al's snowman and watch the pair of them wrestle over it. But he wasn't there. It didn't seem right.

No one else seemed to have a problem with it. The women talked about the babies, about how cute they were and how big they were getting and about how you could hear them making noises to each other which was astonishingly adorable. The men talked about business, quidditch, and the ministry. The girls discussed in depth detail of the latest Hogwarts rumors, half of which involved Lily and Scorpius and various accusations of where, exactly, they were pleasuring each other. The boys ignored them, instead discussing details of high importance -- the joke shop and the new products that were being produced. It was all going about as normal. Like nothing had changed. But everything had. How could everyone act normal without Teddy? It seemed…callous. Did they ever care about him to begin with?

She wished she could go see Scorpius. He would make her feel better. He always did.

3

"So how's Scorpius?" Molly asked, turning down Diagon Alley. The four cousins squeezed through the crowded shopping district, packed with post-Christmas returns and exchanges.

"He's in Norway visiting family," Lily replied. "I sent him an owl this morning."

"You think he'll get it in time?" Lucy asked.

"I certainly hope so."

"It depends on the weather," Rose said. "Do you guys need to return anything from Madame Malkins?"

"No," the other three said.

"Do we need to return anything this year?" Molly asked.

They came to a negative consensus.

"What are we doing here, then?" Rose asked, glancing in the window of the quidditch shop at the new broom they had on display.

"I…browsing?" Lucy suggested, turning in the direction of the quidditch shop, as well.

"That's a fantastic broom," Rose breathed, rooted to the spot.

"You want to go in?" Lily suggested.

"Yes," Lucy and Rose said in unison. The four of them went in, Rose and Lucy staring at the broom and Molly and Lily fooling around with the new helmets.

"Do you think we can get thrown out for this?" Molly asked, putting the helmet on and bashing into Lily's helmet.

"Nah, we'll just say we're product testing," Lily replied, knocking into Molly again.

"We need to stop; my head is starting to hurt."

"What about the arm guards?"

"You two ready to go?" Rose asked. "We're done gawking at what never will be."

Lily and Molly put their helmets back and followed Rose out to the street.

"Are you ready for food?" Molly asked.

"Don't know why not," Lucy shrugged.

They turned into the ice cream shop and all of them ordered milkshakes and burgers. Settling down, they started giggling.

"Oh, come on, Lily," Molly said. "You can't pretend to hide behind innocence forever. There was a rumor you scarred some first year with your…displays."

"Hey!" Lily said. "Damian had no right to go barging into Scorpius's room without permission or, at the very least, a decent knock period."

They all started giggling.

"You've got to be kidding," Rose said, stifling her own laughter. "When Greg and I wanted to have some fun, we had to high tail it to the room of requirement, and the room we got wasn't even that nice. I mean, it was fun, to be sure. But it was nothing compared to the headboy's office."

"Room. We never did it in his office," Lily corrected. "He wouldn't allow it."

"Aren't you nervous about what he's doing in Norway?" Lucy asked.

"A little bit, but I trust him," Lily said. "I know he would never do anything to hurt me."

"That's so sweet," Rose said, her voice seething with sarcasm.

Lily grinned and sipped at her milkshake -- strawberry like always.

"Oh, come on, Rose. Are you telling me you don't feel the same way about Greg?" Molly teased.

"I didn't say that. Besides, I'm hypocritical," Rose said, playing with a french fry.

"Are…are you sure Scorpius is in Norway?" Lucy asked slowly as if uncertain of her words.

"Yeah; he told me he was going himself," Lily replied. "Why are you asking?"

"I just…there's a guy in the corner snogging some girl that looks kind of like him," Lucy said.

All four of them turned and looked. Lily could just make out the edge of a blond head around a black one. The lady was sitting in his lap, completely feeling him up. The girl backed off.

Lily felt her heart stop beating. It was Scorpius. Even from across the room, she couldn't mistake him. No, it wasn't him. Her mind was playing a trick on her. He was in Norway. With his family.

Her breathing was quick and she couldn't look away. They flirted. It was definitely him. How could he do this? How could he do this to her? How could that woman defile her man? Anger gripped her in his fierce hands and ripped her away from the restraints of common sense. She stood up and walked over.

"Scorpius!" she snapped, grabbing his shoulder. "What the bloody hell are you doing? You are supposed to be in Norway!"

"Lily? I…you weren't…" he stuttered.

"I thought you said that you wanted to be with me forever? What happened to that? I thought you said you loved me! Is that a lie? Is that meaningless to you?"

"Lily, listen to me," he said, standing up. "She's nothing to me."

"Nothing? If that's what you do with someone who's nothing to you, then I want to know what you really think of me!"

"You have it wrong…"

"How do I have it wrong? You lied to me! You…you cheated on me!" She felt her emotions begin to get the best of her, her heart throbbing against her heart, tears welling in her eyes.

"That's not it at all…"

"Stop, Scorpius, just stop it! There isn't anything you can say…"

"Listen to me!"

"I have listened to you! I listened to all your crap you've dished out to me! You…you made me believe you, Scorpius. I told you things I wouldn't tell anyone else. I confided in you, and this is how you…no. I can't."

"Lily…"

She looked at the woman, a small woman with straight black hair. She had an amused look on her face, as if she was entertained by her pain. Lily clenched her jaw and turned back to him.

"Scorpius…I never cared for anyone more than you. I…I gave you everything I had. Everything." Her voice trembled. There was nothing she could do to keep it in check. "How long? How long has this been going on?"

"This is the first time," Scorpius said.

"I don't know…I don't know whether to believe you or not."

"Believe me," he pleaded, putting his hands on her shoulders.

Lily pulled away from him and walked away, feeling as if a part of her had been severed. Rose was next to her in seconds, her arms directing her onto the street. Lily was overwhelmed. She hadn't thought he was capable…she didn't think he would do that to her…she thought they'd be together forever…evidently not. She leaned against the wall to the shop and started to cry.

"It'll be alright, Lil," Rose said, holding her tight. "You're too good for him anyway."

"I trusted him, Rose," she sobbed.

"I know. It'll be ok."

3

An: The ultimate answer to the ultimate question is not the ultimate inquisition. Rather, the ultimate question to the ultimate answer is the ultimate inquisition. And it is not "what is six times seven?" (or something like that -- I can't remember the exact quote, so I fudged it)


	43. Chapter 43

3

3

'Please forgive me,' it read, 'I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd be there. The woman I was with has been my friend for a long time. I used to think we would marry. I just had to be sure she wasn't the one, the one I was supposed to marry. Forgive me. Please.'

Lily took the letter, written in Scorpius's cramped script, and burned it. She didn't want his excuses. She knew what he did. He became physically engaged with another woman. It was bad enough he was eating dinner with her, but snogging her…feeling her up…it was too much. And he had lied. Obviously, he wasn't in Norway. He had violated her trust. He had crossed a line and she wasn't sure if it was one he could cross back over. Something had been broken, and Lily knew it couldn't be put back together.

"Lily?"

She looked up from her desk. Vicky stood in the doorway, a sandwich with her. "I brought you lunch."

"I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat something."

"I don't want to."

Vicky sat on the bed and put the sandwich next to Lily on the desk.

"Do you want to talk?" she asked gently.

"He wasn't supposed to do that," Lily said. "He wasn't supposed to be in Diagon Alley and he wasn't supposed to do that with another girl. He…he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with me..."

"Do you think he might still want to?"

"If he had wanted to, then he certainly failed at it. He told me he was in Norway. He wasn't supposed to be in England. It's more than he just cheated on me. He lied to me so he didn't have to see me. He doesn't…he doesn't want to be with me."

But she still wanted to be with him. Her heart still reached out to him, yearned for the pressure of his body against hers, hungered for the taste of his lips, thirsted for his conversation. All of it was out of her reach.

"Do you want to come downstairs? We're starting up a quidditch game."

"No," Lily replied. "I…I don't."

"Ok."

3

Lily stared out her window. She didn't want to do anything. She couldn't do anything. Sleep eluded her. Peace eluded her. She wished she could stop thinking about him. She wondered if he was up thinking about her. She wondered if he was as agonized by their separation as she was. There was another woman for him, though, someone else to take her place.

She had to get out of her room. She stood up and went downstairs. Her father was in the kitchen, limping across the floor in a circular pattern. Lily sat down in one of the kitchen chairs, silent.

"Is it still just a scratch?" she asked.

"What?" he stopped limping and looked at her, surprised to see her.

"Your leg -- is it still just scratched?"

"It's just stiff. It'll loosen again in the warm weather."

"It got cut open pretty bad, huh?"

"You know far too much for your own good," he said, settling down into chair.

"Sometimes," she admitted.

"I'm sorry about Scorpius."

A knot settled in her throat. There was nothing she could say to that.

"Sometimes, people aren't what they seem to be."

"You just…you just need to be careful with Slytherins…and I just…I just trusted him like he was…like he was a Hufflepuff," Lily whispered.

Upstairs, one of the babies cried. Neither of them moved.

"Trust is a good asset to have," her father said gently. "It allows you to rely on other people and put pressure on them. And with that pressure, you get to glimpse who they really are. It's just that…sometimes, people aren't who they seem to be. You put pressure on Scorpius, Lily, and…and he didn't live up to his word…he cracked. Trusting someone is the best test of their character."

Lily lowered her head and rubbed her face with her hands. She couldn't believe he was saying this. She drew a shuddering breath and looked up again.

"I should go help your mother," he said, gently squeezing her shoulder. He went upstairs to the nursery, limping all the while.

3

"What am I supposed to do now?" Lily asked, resting her head on the counter of the Godric's Hollow joke shop. She had hoped Rose was on duty -- she had more experience in these matters -- but she was stuck with Fred and Jim.

"You can't get back together with him," Fred said. "He's been misleading you. Don't trust him again."

"I know, but…"

"No buts," James said forcefully. "You cannot go crawling back to him, ok? He betrayed your trust, your confidence. That's not something you give back willingly."

"It'll be hard, to be sure," Fred said. "But you need to do it."

"I know what I can't do, but what can I do?"

The two young men exchanged glances. Neither of them knew. Lily knew she shouldn't have gone there. She needed a woman, another girl. They would understand better. Jim and Fred were distracted by their overprotective tendencies.

"I'm going for a walk," Lily said.

She wrapped her blue wool jacket over her pink sweater, precaution against the bitter cold. She trudged through the streets of Godric's Hollow, wishing she was in Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade, wishing she was somewhere she didn't yearn for Scorpius's presence so much. He had shown her this place first, directed her down the proper streets to see the memorials, been there when she first witnessed the sacrifice. He had seen her at her most vulnerable, and he didn't care.

Pushing the thoughts from her mind, she turned down a narrow alley. She needed a distraction right now, anything, really, to take her thoughts away from him. She didn't want to think of him anymore. She didn't want to fantasize about him. She didn't want to feel his hands running over her body. She didn't want to remember the euphoria of him claiming her as his own. She didn't want to be his own. Not now. Not anymore. She needed purpose, a goal, directed focus.

She bumped into someone.

"Sorry," she muttered and looked up.

The woman smiled warmly.

"It's quite all right, my dear. I wasn't paying as much attention as I ought to, either. This…this is quite an amazing sight. I remember the day when my son went off to fight. He made a noble sacrifice, he did. There's not a day goes by when I don't thank him for it. It's because of young men and women like him that we live like we do, you know. Some people think just because V-voldemort has died, that dark wizards do not roam the world. They're quite wrong, of course." The woman sighed and wrapped her arms around herself, a weak smile on her face, her eyes swelling with tears. "It's an honorable pursuit. Please excuse me, dear. I…he was still my son."

She turned away from Lily, bringing a handkerchief to her face, and started crying. Is this what it's like when someone dies in the battlefield? A confused combination of joy and happiness? Yes, she decided, it was. Her father had done something eerily similar when Teddy had died. Her mum was afraid of her dieing in the same way. Her father might die in the same way. Her eyes turned to the photos plastered on the Second War memorial. To look at them felt like a scab had been peeled back off a wound. All of them had died in the same way. Like Teddy. Like this woman's son. Like her father might. Their deaths had been noble deaths. Their lives, noble lives. Their purpose, noble purposes.

Nothing held her back, Lily realized with a cold shock of reality. Scorpius wasn't there to tell her that she wouldn't be able to have an adequate relationship with him if she did this. The prospect of motherhood didn't loom ominously overhead; whose children did she want to mother? Scorpius was the only one…and he had dashed those dreams. Lily was confident she would never feel the same way about anyone else, sure that Scorpius would be…had been…her one and only.

Aurorship was a possibility. It was in her grasp, glaring at her from the shelf. All she had to do was commit and take it. It was the distraction she needed, the exact recipe for getting over Scorpius. Everything she ever wanted was held in its hands -- life, death, purpose, honor. All of it was there. Nothing was missing.

Fear gripped her. She wanted it. But could she do it? Could she put everything aside and pick up the self-sacrificing torch? Could she put her life on the line, unsure of if she would ever see her children or be happily married? Could she go to work every day knowing that her family worried about her? And what if she wasn't good enough? What if she didn't have the magic, the experience, the cunning, the wit, the skills? What if she didn't pass her N.E.W.T. classes? What if?

She shook her head. She would do this. She was resolved to see this through. Studying needed to take a larger role in her schoolwork. Focus needed to be attained every day in order to achieve what she needed to achieve. Discipline needed to be learned. Everything she worried about, everything she questioned, was possible for her to achieve.

This was it, the only thing she could do, the thing she was made for.

3

"Are you sure?" Lily's father said.

"Yes," Lily replied.

"I don't know…"

"You said you thought I could."

"I'm not saying that because of you. I'm wondering if your mother is going to kick you out or not."

"She still has Flick."

Her father looked at her, his eyes narrowed.

"Flick could never replace you," he said seriously.

"If she does kick me out, then I'll go live with Rose and Greg."

"No you won't. I'll help you get a flat. Rose is a bad influence."

Lily bit back laughter. Rose, a bad influence? Sure, she might be wayward compared to Lucy, but she was still a good person. Lucy was stricter than Aunt Hermione when it came to following rules, anyway, so of course Rose was going to be seen as a bad influence.

"Relax, dad; I'll find somewhere to live."

"Let me tell your mother after you've left for Hogwarts. Otherwise, I think she might do a bat boogey hex on you. Don't expect a warm welcome in May, though."

"Alright."

Lily grinned. It felt right, despite the fact that her mum was going to be pissed at her. This was what she was supposed to be doing, she knew.

3

Lily sat between Alexander and the wall in the train to Hogwarts. She was waiting to be asked why she wasn't pressed against Scorpius, but it seemed everyone knew or at least picked up on the cues. Scorpius sat on the other side of the compartment, near Tempest.

The compartment was actually rather quiet for a post-Christmas trip. There was no gloating about who got what new broom or the latest fashion or anything, really. There were brief mutterings from the fifth years about O.W.L.s, grumblings of N.E.W.T.s, and general negativity surrounding school.

"Lily," the fifth year girl asked casually, "what's your career path?"

"Auror," Lily replied simply, her voice strained.

What would Scorpius say? She glanced at him. His face was white, his jaw clenched, his eyes burning with anger. He didn't say anything. She knew he would at some point, though.

"That's so cool," the boy fifth-year said. "So you're going to work for your father?"

"Basically," Lily replied.

"Can we not talk about this?" Scorpius asked, his voice low and rumbling like thunder. He was angrier than Lily had ever seen him before. Everyone fell silent at the headboy's insinuation. The train screeched to a halt and the compartment emptied. Lily and Scorpius were the only two left.

"How could you do this?" Scorpius demaned. "I thought we..."

"You ruined that, Scorpius," Lily replied quickly. "There's nothing you can do to repair it."

"I'm sick of your attitude!" he yelled, his voice rattling Lily's bones. "You pretend like you're the only one who was wronged here! It's true, I may have slipped up a bit, but you're the one who won't let me get two words in. No, don't interrupt! I tried to be patient. I tried to be rational! You refused to return that civility! You're as much at fault here as I am, so stop pretending like this is all my fault, because it isn't! I'm sorry for trying to smooth things over with you. Evidently it was a waste of time. You're just as stubborn as your brothers. I'm sorry I ever even cared about you! Talk about a waste of time."

He left, leaving Lily standing still, dumbstruck, alone, unnerved. She grabbed her bag and slid it over her shoulder. A heaviness settled on her chest as she trekked up to the horseless carriages. She bowed her head and stared at the wooden floor.

That was it, then.

3

Lily stared at Professor Wolfe, her face impassive.

"I hear you've finally come to a decision?" he said, flipping open a file.

"Yes, sir."

"And what would that be?"

"Auror."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"You understand what you'll be giving up?"

"Everything I'm giving up is worth it. There are still dark wizards out there, and they need to be stopped. I want to be the one to stop them."

"Well, I can't say I expected any less. You'd better start applying yourself to your studies."

"Of course, sir."

"I believe dinner has started. You can go."

Lily slipped from his office, a feeling of solid determination settling into her stomach. She was committed, now. Nothing could derail her.

333

AN: Well, I hope y'all enjoyed the fic. Sorry for not coming up to the five chap estimation. The chaps didn't cut as cleanly as I thought they would (blame summer math). And thanks for reading. And uber thanks for reviewing: bigteddy, bookworm579, pheonix214, anna, Jessluvsharry, dangling.radishes, aqwatik faerie, supon, lupawulf, theladyathena, likewow5556, astra black, lexikins, englishgrlverity, tayloralexandra, a shadow revised, peygoodwin, rainclouddreamer, booklover757. I greatly appreciate your support and criticism. And thank you for forgiving (or maybe thinking about it) my short fallings in writing.


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